Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

One wedding abroad where I provided the cringe. I knew B&G well but had never met G's family and knew nothing about them.

I met groom's brother, said 'Hello' etc. and said to much older man standing next to him (think 30 years older) "and you must be Father Of Brother and Groom, congratulations". He wasn't, he was boyfriend of brother.

I apologised profusely, but they were most unamused and brought it up constantly from then on. They told every other guest on their side which resulted in me getting the cold shoulder from most of them.

I was travelling on my own, stuck there for a week and every time I turned up to the many functions the two of them made very pointed remarks at my expense. It was horrific and I got to the stage where I was on the verge of tears. Fortunately the bride's older siblings took me under their collective wing so I ended up having an ok time.

My husband was Best Man at his Brothers 2nd wedding, but when he asked people to raise their glasses to propose a toast he said the first wife's name by mistake.

I went to a Humanist wedding where the couple decided to include 'Mexican Hugs' at the end of the service. It's like a Mexican wave, but with hugs. So the person on one side of you hugs you and you hug the person on the other side etc etc. Lovely touch, very small wedding, very cuddly couple so very fitting to them. Right up until the MOG decided that the FOG had been a cunt the night before and she wasn't speaking to him so wasn't hugging him. The bride's side were all hugging each other and laughing, the groom's side were all sitting awkwardly wondering if they should just continue the hugs after the groom's parents or what to do.

At another wedding the bride's father told a story about the first time he'd met the groom. It was an amusing story, but the bride looked absolutely furious. Later she had a very hissed row with her father as it turned out he'd told a story about the first time he'd met her ex.

The best man's girlfriend wearing a tiny white mini dress that didn't cover her bum, a g-string, black hold ups and massive red stilettos. She kept going up to the top table and bending over to talk to her boyfriend giving all the rest of the guests quite a view . I think some of the older guests nearly had heart attacks. It was very odd. I mean, who wears white to a wedding!

""I don't think any thing's cheesy at a wedding. It's the one day a couple can be as shameless as they like!"

That's all well and good so long as they're being cheesy about being in lurve with each other (up to a point: liking desert from each other during the meal though! who ARE these people???)

cringy is not so cool when the BM/groom makes it all about their bromance and lads nights out, get shitfaced and tell us all things we don't want to know

Or when the groom is just a hat stand, and the bride (or MOB or MOG) is like a prom queen on acid

Or when someone uses the captive audience to make a point about grudges or favouritisms……..

……big cheesy hearts everywhere is fine though

The bride singing ' I'm every woman' in the poor grooms face

"licking"

actually, the most "cringy" wedding I've been to isn't that amusing really.

Long term relationship, bride getting on a bit, decided to have the wedding she never had as a young woman and pretty much informed her partner and told him when or where and the whole day was like a grown woman "playing" bride in the way a 7 year old girl would. All th frills - at once, all together, even if they clashed. Someone just dumped a whole wedding outlet store through the doors of the venue. The word "love" or "relationship" wasn't used much, I doubt she'ld have notices if her partner now husband hadn't turned up

Troodie. - rofl 🤣

This thread HAS to go into classics, I'm howling!

I once went to a wedding where the "first dance" was the bride and.... her father.

I know some people do a father / daughter, mother / son dance (which I find slightly cringey anyway) but this was definitely announced as the big "First Dance".

It was a "you know you're at a redneck wedding when..." moment. It also explained why I'd always found her father creepy af.

The mother of the brides face as i spoke to her very drunkenly about thrush. Still cringing 15 years later

So you should be Clopy

Thrush comes into my cringe moment too - a drunken friend (possibly you - where are you? ) shouts across the entire hall - "Hiya Flappy! How ye doin'? Ha' ye still got yer thrush?"

Red-faced I cried out "Budgie. It's a budgie!"

I fooled no-one . . . .

BM began his speech with 'Andy has been around a good bit' later claiming that he'd intended to say 'I've known Andy for a good bit'. Yeah, right🙄
At another wedding a female friend of the happy couple entertained us during the signing of the register. A lengthy free-dance solemnly performed in a leotard as we wondered where to look.

I think the worst ones are when the couple misunderstand a song

Like hey Jude for a first dance when it's actually written for a boy going through his parents divorce

Or that dido song, don't leave home which is actually about heroin

The wedding at which the brides father had been married four times. His daughter was from first marriage and the convention is that the brides real father and mother sit together at the front. Step mothers make themselves scarce at the back apparently
Wife No.4 took exception to this and told wife No.1 and the rest of his family what they could do with that idea.
Needless to say the atmosphere during the wedding and reception was a little strained.

Ive eaten dinner twice so i can read all of this post. Im dying with laughter

@heyRoly - was it sung under a tree by any chance? If so I was singing along with you.

I don't recall a tree, no cosmo!

Gawd, its more common than we realise

Expat, that made me snort

Most weddings I've been to have been lovely but there are a few moments from various ones over the years...

The one where I'd been seeing the best man and couldn't wait to see him all dressed up. And apparently neither could both the MOH and one of the bridesmaids as they'd both been seeing him as well (not sure how that one didn't end in a fight between them tbh). I ended up getting on really well with the bride's brother instead.

Another where a bridesmaid got so drunk that she didn't realise she had "fallen" out of her dress on the dancefloor and the videographer got some wonderful footage of her bouncing away... I still haven't seen that wedding video to see how they've managed to edit it.

A lovely church wedding of an old friend, where unfortunately the organist was ill so they called in one of the older members who knew how to play the organ, or so the b&g were told. We really struggled to keep our giggles quiet during every bum note (and there were a lot of them through the whole ceremony). Some elderly relatives of the bride noticed us though so tutted away at us while singing their hymns.

And I swear I had another but completely forgotten it while reading (and howling) through all these stories.

Oh I've remembered the last one now, how could I forget.

Groom was a cousin of my XH, we got the invitation to a big posh stately home type place a few hours from home. Fab, we thought, let's get all poshed up. Even got myself a fancy hat, designer bag & shoes and everything.

Turn up to the venue after getting wildly lost on the way, to find the wedding wasn't in the big posh house, but in a marquee in the garden. (Stilettos weren't a good idea, carpets were down within the marquee but still a good bit of grass to walk over to get to it, the carpet within the marquee wasn't well laid down so I constantly found my heels sliding in between sections and getting stuck. How I didn't fall over, I have no idea. Not sure how long it had been up but it had that "rotten grass" smell you get when a marquee/tent has been up for a while.)

Made our way inside, small talk with the very few relatives I knew, wondering why there was no sign of the groom or best man in advance, and no obvious place for the ceremony. No sign of a bar so couldn't even relax with a drink while we were waiting but figured maybe we would move into the house for the ceremony then they'd have drinks when we got back. Eventually we're told to take our seats, at the dinner tables. The bride and groom come in and we find out they went abroad and got married and this is just a party since they only had a small reception over there. We got one glass of wine with our dinner (which was soggy, lukewarm buffet food) and I was incredibly glad that XH wasn't a wine drinker as I managed to have his too. We left a few hours later incredibly sober and feeling rather overdressed for what was really just a relaxed reception/party - which they could have said on the invitations but they wanted to surprise everyone instead.

This will probably out me....went to a wedding once that was very outdoorsy, sitting around a fire with about 4 other people later on and a guy falls out of the tree by our heads, almost landing in the fire. We'd been sitting there for a good hour having chats and drinks, so he'd been up there for ages. Next day, same guy had graph paper scratches all over his face, seems he also got lost in the brambles later on, his GF was mortified and he had no idea what had gone on. Apparently he's actually quite boring!

The wedding at which the brides father had been married four times. His daughter was from first marriage and the convention is that the brides real father and mother sit together at the front. Step mothers make themselves scarce at the back apparently

Was this in 1950? Because AFAIK the convention in this century is that people sit with their current partner and everyone slaps a smile on their face and pretends to get on for the sake of the B&G.

The best man who gave a reading at the Church and his reading skills were of the standard of an average four year old.

This bit was lovely: The bride was Christian and the groom was Jewish and they did their best to try and have some of the traditions of both religions in the ceremony.

This bit was terrible: The Father of the Bride's speech. He started with: I love my daughter XXXX with an A because she is (rambled on about how amazing or artistic or some other A word), I love my daughter XXXX with a B because she is (rambled on about how beautiful or beneficent or some other B word)....and this was pretty cringe worthy for a very long 25 minutes speech.

BUT the truly awful bit was when he praised her for being clever for having found a rich Jewish husband

We all looked at each other and didn't know what to say. Even if you think this is true and will amuse your golf buddy friends, you are alienating at least half of the audience!

Second dreadful wedding. A religious wedding. The groom XXX, is shagging the ex-best friend, YYY, of the bride ZZZ, and intends to keep doing this after the wedding as well. All the younger people (bride, bride's friends, groom's friends) know about it. The older generation do not know. The wedding is in the fanciest hotel in town and cost at least £50,000 and some people have said £100,000.

The bride is nice but rapidly approaching 40 and realises this is her last chance and is clearly marrying him for his family's money (they bought the groom his flat and he is employed in the family business). The groom is a moron and an alcoholic. He has been done for drunk driving and speeding and lost his licence. He looks like he has fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. No one can understand what either the bride or the ex-best friend see in him. A former girlfriend of his tells me he is a selfish lover and doesn't even have a big willy to make up for it!

The minister, addressing the bride and groom, uses the word 'faithful'. Everyone under 40 sniggers.

The best man's speech is where he calls the groom a 'cock'. Everyone under 40 sniggers. All the older generation look shocked.

The groom's speech is off-the cuff, rambling and drunken.

It was all absolutely terrible.

Nowhere near as funny as some of the stories but at my wedding l launched my bouquet so hard it knocked a glass of wine all over my mum's friend and landed in her lap. Oops.