Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

Yep, mine! God, I'd forgotten all of these.....!

1. XH parents very late to the church because XH brother and girlfriend had been fighting (not unusual but you would have thought they could hold it together for one day )

1. My mum walking in on XH brother (different one) and his g/f having sex in the toilets.

1. Having to wait hours and hours to do our first dance because XH parents weren't there - they were too busy refereeing ANOTHER fight between brother and g/f. Eventually got to the reception more than two hours late.

1. Length of wait meant XH got completely wasted on sambuca shots with his mates and actually pulled away from me during our first dance to play air guitar . If I wasn't as plastered as I was I would probably have been mortified.

1. We left our reception in a taxi to go to our hotel, guests cheering and waving goodbye, etc. XH brother's g/f is STILL fighting with him so ran up to our taxi and jumped in the back with us saying "You don't mind if I share your taxi do you?" The pair of them really messed up our wedding day.

As a footnote, the marriage lasted for 8 years. My ex PIL are the most atrocious people I have ever met - there's another thread running about them at the moment. I am very, very glad to be shot of his family!!

The very expensive one where we got a couple of crisps and that was it. Couple were work colleagues, despite enormous meringue ( long time ago) bride was clearly upduffed but we were all told afterwards not to say anything. I wonder how that worked when a full term baby arrived a lot less than nine months later.

They didnt last.

Supersheepdog are they still together? Surely not

A family wedding where there were five best men, who each did a speech which consisted of them listing their friendship group's achievements- including a PowerPoint featuring press clippings; each with a cursory 'the bride's a nice girl, you've done well mate' added at the end. The groom's speech was along the same lines but included references to his previous drug taking, school expulsions and how crap his parents had been as parents.

I felt sorry for the bride as even her own Dad didn't have much to say about her.

Mine, as a pp says! The priest made me and my dad wait while he frantically put out hymn books (afternoon wedding, God knows what time he'd got up!) then forgot my name and my DH's and called us both something different. He then claimed that I'd forgotten the vows, the ones in the book he had and didn't make us say any! My mil swears we're not actually married.

My dad then made one of the worst speeches I've ever heard, he was nervous, probably has Aspergers and was desperate to get it right, but rambled, bless him. Then my dh dumped me halfway through the first dance to mess round with his brother. I didn't mind, it was a relaxed do!

When the FOB started his speech with "We could have had a small wedding do for close family and friends at [insert posh country house type place] but X (groom) has many acquaintances he insisted we invite".
As one of the 'many acquaintances' I felt a bit unwanted. He didn't have to invite us and it was a bit cringey to bare your lack of finances in front of all the guests.

I actually know someone whose younger sibling is the child of the local Catholic priest, and everyone knows the mum has been banging the priest for years!

Also once stayed in an Irish community where several older women chatted to me about the hotness of their priest and implied they'd had a good time with him in the past (He was quite old and still hot so you could see he would have been gorgeous in his youth... but still!)

During the best man's speech, he turned to the bride's parents, and said "You must be feeling sore at losing your daughter.....but not as sore as Emma will feel tomorrow after a night with our Matt !"

Tinsel

Near a University City beginning with D?

At a friend's wedding the FOB invited a woman he'd met on a night out the week before to the evening reception!

No problem you might think - but he was still married to the bride's mother at the time!

The woman, who hadn't a good reputation locally, actually turned up in leather trousers, a leather jacket & huge stilettos. She walked up to the FOB and give him a kiss!

My poor poor friend was mortified, she was so hurt. Unsurprisingly her parents were separated by the time her first child was born. It was a horrific time for her.

At my wedding my dad was so drunk he kept calling me by my sisters name! Then said he didn't know how he got confused as my sister was always the prettiest of us all.... I have four sisters so it wasn't just me he was insulting. No, before you ask, I don't have a good relationship with my father

The best man at our wedding reading a positively cringeworthy lewd poem that he'd got off the internet.

A bride and groom full on snogging and groping during their first dance.

A bridezilla who created a table with lots of recently broken up couples and singles all together, within the table there were 3 women who'd all recently slept with one of the guys. It was fascinating cringy to watch them all making small talk together! He reasoning was that it would mess up all the tables if there were odd numbers do she just stuck them all in one table together.

Near a University City beginning with D?

No, sadly I guess lots of people are shit hosts who think guests are there to stand around and gush/admire your choice of venue and not be looked after

The scene in the carpark at this onee was crigney though - half the guests sat in their car forridging for snacks and sharing round whatever they had. The couple saw us and continued with another hour and a half of photos! I would have been mortified and legged it to the kitchen to get them to to send something out, but they just laughed and carried on .

It was very much one of those weddings where you were there to admire rather than to be welcomed and looked after

I can only offer a wedding where some family friends from abroad insisted on getting up and singing us all a song from their country. Would have been very nice, except the song only had about two notes, so after four verses (plus chorus) it was getting a bit wearing. After the sixth verse people started to applaud, thinking it was over, but there was another verse. And another. And another. Recently we went to one where the best man made all his jokes in Latin, chortling heartily after each quip. Luckily it didn't matter as the rest of his speech was so rambling that no-one could follow it anyway. He was like the "I was very very drunk" man from The Fast Show! We're still wondering if he was completely pissed or just really, really nervous.

Tinsel

When I got married a few years later I had no photographer at all, in large part because of that fiasco. So bloody rude, poncing about for hours whilst guests waited hungry and knackered.

Fourtwenty

My sister did this it was awful

Mine, a few years ago.
We had the reception in the local church hall and couldn't have a bar as such, so we bought loads of wine, beer and soft drinks. Put a bottle each of red and white on the tables, and told the caterers to keep the bottles coming.
Only found out at the end of the night that they hadn't bothered to bring the wine out, so my poor guests only had a glass or two of wine the whole night long! Not only that, but the caterers had uncorked the bottles so we had to send people home with open bottles of wine rather than let it all go off!
And to top it all off, half of my thank you notes weren't received (bad snowstorm at the time, post mucked up). So I'm sure loads of my family think I'm a cheapskate who can't even be bothered to say thank you for the gifts!

I've been to some in the recent years where the groom has twerked during the first dance.

We went to a wedding a few years back and the best man's speech was hilarious. At the end, he asked the bride and groom, and every other loving couple in the room to clasp hands and look into each other's eyes. He then spoke about how now they were husband and wife, they were committed to each other and were looking into the eyes of the one person they would wake up with every day, the one person that would nurture and cherish them, the one person they could rely on etc. etc. To close, he said 'and above all, now you are married....now you are husband and wife....you are looking into the eyes of the one person on Earth who is statistically the most likely to commit your murder.'

Now. This would have been a funny gag, were it not for the fact that the bride's mother had, in fact, been killed by her step father some years earlier. I can feel my whole body physically cringing even now when I recall it.

When I got married a few years later I had no photographer at all, in large part because of that fiasco. So bloody rude, poncing about for hours whilst guests waited hungry and knackered.

Me too! we had 3 photos (everyone, my side, his side) for the nan's mantle pieces. That was it! I planned the whole day/timings around feeding people because there's no point in any other frills if all anyone's thinking of is their stomach!

thebaker that's so, so awful. The poor bride. Presumably the best man had no idea? He must've been mortified!

I can only assume he didn't know-I bloody hope he didn't! It was very clear that the vast majority of people in the room did know though. Awful (and a shame for the best man because in fairness it's not a bad gag and the rest of the speech was great!)

baker

It's not a bad gag for a StandUp comedian, but really badly-judged for any wedding, let alone this one.

That's what so many Best Men fail to understand. They can't be the Frankie Boyle (or Jim Davidson) they dream of being

Bride and groom reading a poem to each other that was basically about sex. They said 'cum' ! Ewwww. No thanks.

Mmmm I don't know actually, at any other wedding I have to confess I would have sniggered at it. Or maybe I just think that because I felt so sorry for him and my friend (bride)-who was very understanding and actually said 'it's ok, you can laugh!' to deal with the tension. It was a great wedding before and after and it's such a shame that's everyone's abiding memory.

My wedding. MIL told us later. My aunt went up to her and asked her "do you think igglepiggle and DH are really suited for each other?"