Little things that put you off going out with someone

[TakeAwayThatCaterpillar]

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

2. Liked Miranda.

3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

3. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.

Talking of London Underground: I think anyone who asks us for a date should have their tube behaviour observed first. Anyone who manspreads should be automatically rejected.

That was 12 years ago and I still get the occasional 'accidental' pic of his downstairs.

You mean he sends you dick pics 12 years after you went on a date?

Some of these are fucking hilarious

warmest jeez, what a freak. You had a lucky escape with that one.

Nettle that reminds me of the one who shouted "Johnny Walker" at the moment of climax, after giving me a running commentary about Whiskey.

I laughed, and never saw him again.

His lips felt too squishy when we kissed, hard to explain 😂

He had a heart attack (at 25 ) then wanted me to dress up as a nurse and look after him. We'd been on three dates 😂

He got drunk, couldn't -ahem- perform and so used our evening to tell me in great great detail how one day he'll be rich and famous off the back of a great scheme he has. But he can't tell me what it is or I might steal it.

This is the funniest thread ever

the one who shouted "Johnny Walker" at the moment of climax

There are no words

Fuxfurforall

"Lived at home with his mum but pretended she was his landlady - she even went along with it . "

This has made me cringe myself inside out. You must have wanted the ground to swallow you up!

Thumbnails could have been guitar player?

No, not long nails - massive, freakishly wide ones that covered the whole of the top of his thumbs. He looked like he'd smashed them with a hammer.

Fuxfurforall

"Lived at home with his mum but pretended she was his landlady - she even went along with it . "

This has made me cringe myself inside out. You must have wanted the ground to swallow you up!

Thumbnails could have been guitar player?

No, not long nails - massive, freakishly wide ones that covered the whole of the top of his thumbs. He looked like he'd smashed them with a hammer.

Oh bollocks, why did that post twice? Sorry about that.

The most unfortunate was going back to his place to call a cab to take me home (pre moblie phone days). He disappeared, to return moments later stark naked apart from his socks saying ta-da! with dramatic effect. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Phoned for a cab while he disappeared and lI left the house to wait for the cab.

It was unfortunate because we worked together - in an office with one other person and he didn't speak to me for six months

One had tiny little teeth

One had soft, hairless skin like a baby 🤢

One said 'hehehe' in texts..

One wanted me to put my own finger up my bum while he called me a whore and choked me

1. Said banter 10 times in the first 20 minutes of meeting.
2. Told me he hates naturally curly hair... my hair is naturally curly which he could totally tell.
3. Told me that his ex use to call him 'papi' and that he wants all future girlfriends to call him that too.

1. Telling me how mean and horrible his 20yr old daughter was to him. This was during a phone call to arrange a first date. The date didn't happen.

1. Stared at my chest for the entire date.

1. Sent me dick pics taken in the bath. My first thought was how/why was there no bubble bath 🤔. I didn't show this picture to my work colleagues to compare the variety of other men's 'submissions' so we could rate them

Wore fuzzy peach perfume.

Used a toothpick to pick food out between his teeth at the dinner table of a fancy restaurant

I went in a date with one of my sisters friends, my 4 year old daughter was with me and he said he would like to see more of me because I was GREAT BREEDING MATERIAL! I said I am not a fecking cow.....be off with you man!!!!

Nasal hair - need I say more....? Bleugh!

Constant farting and asking someone to pull his finger before he let one rip.
Coming into the bathroom whilst I was brushing my teeth and sitting down for a smelly shit. He announced that it was "wonderful we were so comfortable with each other" (same guy)

Sexist jokes
Poor spelling
Obsessed with the gym and used to mock anyone who didn't go
Spitting

Put an ASDA carrier bag on his dreads to have a shower

Asked me to go to "the flicks"

Said "mmmm" when he kissed me!

1. Her eyelashes were too straight. Once I noticed, I simply couldn't un-see them!

1. She said "kudos" in conversation. Nothing wrong with that word, but it made me realise I couldn't be with her long term!

Wore black dress shoes with blue stonewash jeans and matching denim jacket. Nope.

"I'm really into cars, what car do you drive?"

Not checking how I'm getting home/waiting with me in the taxi queue.

Not checking how I've been when admitted to hospital.

Arrested for pushing an ex.

Ate the green skittles I was saving in a one-r.

Keep farting and then told me it actually me queefing.