Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Little things that put you off going out with someone

478 replies

TakeAwayThatCaterpillar · 20/04/2017 16:05

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

  1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

  2. Liked Miranda.

  3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

  1. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.
OP posts:
littleowltoo · 23/04/2017 07:09

Said "hey ho, the wind and the rain" whenever he felt that there was a lull in the conversation.

I have never, ever commented before but I have been up half the night reading and laughing my (white) socks off.
I am going to nick that ‘wind and rain’ one and use it myself, its so funny.

diodati · 23/04/2017 07:46

Would put his fingers to his bum when farting, then would sniff his fingers.

Gallavich · 23/04/2017 07:48

Guys with social media accounts, such as Facebook & WhatsApp!

Confused I can see how you might be put off by Facebook at a push but Whatsapp is just a messaging app. How does that put you off a guy?

CookieWarbler · 23/04/2017 07:54

This thread is great!

  • a guy who asked me if I wanted to 'make love' and then revealed his bedroom which had a matching Snoopy bed set including a novelty Snoopy hairdryer. I didn't sleep with him...
  • Shouted at a cab driver for taking too long and deliberately going the wrong way. He wasn't but the poor cabbie had no time to explain about a road closure before he laid into him
  • regaled me with tales about his various DIY projects ALL night.
  • got really angry when I wouldn't let him pay, it was a first, and I knew it would be alast date so I didn't think it fair that he was out of pocket. Just confirmed that he was a bit of a wanker.
  • had a big bum. He was lovely but we went on a third date walking Hampstead Heath and I couldn't get over that he had a curvy bum
Allofaflumble · 23/04/2017 08:02

Talked constantly about food shopping, bargains, yellow sticker items etc.

Yelled "ooh ooh ooh" groan "oh gowld" very loudly during sex.

Watching some documentary where there was a woman with mixed race children. He said "She's been a naughty girl" to which I replied "What do you mean?" And he said "She's been with a black man".

Still had all his wife's clothing, cuddly toys and she let herself in whenever she wanted to collect her mail, five years after their divorce!

What was I thinking? Confused Such poor self esteem. These are just a few.

It was the documentary comment that finally galvanised me!

josiejumper · 23/04/2017 08:16

I have not commented on a thread for years but regularly read and often a little bit of wee comes out. (post 2 children!)
Today, I am literally pissing myself.
I have too many tails to tell re dating days, and my friends always tell me I should write a book about them.
some of my favourite turn offs;

definitely the 'damp clothes' smell
bf of approx. 1 month who still refused to let me go to his flat cos it was too untidy (he kept saying next date, etc then found another excuse)
rudeness to waiters
the lovely guy with the triangle willy. literally triangle shaped. I was drunk. It was a triangle. I don't know how I managed it.
bad shoes- this is an instant turn off
bad watch (I don't mean cheap, I just mean non classic/ classy looking)
I really fancied a guy, went on a few dates, he came to my flat once to take me out and my bestie was just leaving. He turned up wearing a belt I think he had borrowed from his granddad. my bestie knew it was over before he did poor chap.
I had a really nice bf whose one annoying habit was to tickle me which I absolutely hate. he was very strong so I could never get away once the tickling started. once I was so distraught and so upset as he just wouldn't stop. I bit him. really hard. I left. he called me 2 weeks later like nothing had happened. how can a man be such a victim and still want a woman. that was never going to work.

I have learnt that you have to see early on how a man treats or talks about their mother. that's my measure or handy warning.

lottieandmia · 23/04/2017 09:07

Men who keep their socks on during sex. Really shouldn't be having sex!

mycavitiesareempty · 23/04/2017 09:45

That is very very true about how they treat their mum. Very true.

lottieandmia · 23/04/2017 09:51

Some parents really are toxic though. So I would automatically write off someone who has reduced or stopped contact with a parent.

lottieandmia · 23/04/2017 09:51

Wouldn't not would!

CauliflowerSqueeze · 23/04/2017 09:57

Telling me, within the first 2 minutes of meeting me, that he was into really deep and sensual massage, then rolling his eyes up into his head and emitting a gutteral orgasmic sigh.

ScouseBird8364 · 23/04/2017 10:24

Oh my Lord Grin Only read a few of these and in stitches already!! Gonna go grab a coffee and enjoy (or balk at!) the rest WinkBrewGrin

ScouseBird8364 · 23/04/2017 10:24

Oh my Lord Grin Only read a few of these and in stitches already!! Gonna go grab a coffee and enjoy (or balk at!) the rest WinkBrewGrin

ScouseBird8364 · 23/04/2017 12:13

I am sat in my garden absolutely doubled over at this thread, and thankful,as I haven't laughed in a while!

And they say us women are the cranks HmmConfusedGrin

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 23/04/2017 12:24

Met a 40 something bloke off POF who turned up in a weird mixture of smart and casual wear - smart shoes, chinos, sweatshirt and baseball cap. It just looked odd together, and he kept his hat on throughout the entire date. Then he leant across the pub table to kiss me and bashed me hard in the forehead with the very hard peak of his cap, leaving a red mark! He didn't apologise, just turned his cap round, and went straight in for another kiss. By this time I was thinking enough of this and told him I don't like PDAs and to stop trying to snog me in public, but he kept on doing it. It got to the point that every time he leant over I'd put my hand out to act like a buffer against his chest! He wanted to meet again but there was no way I was going to put up with another date with a bloke who didn't take no for an answer and totally disrespected my boundaries Hmm

Snugglepumpkin · 23/04/2017 12:35

This thread has had me giggling like a loon.

One guy turned up with a bottle of red wine, downed the lot & tried to weep into my arms at the tragedy his of being so intelligent he had to hang out with thick people for his whole life (i.e. the rest of the world compared to his towering intellect)
Upon enquiry he had actually managed to get a couple of Ds at A'level.

One bright spark drove me around the city ALL NIGHT doing drive bys on his family members houses & telling me "this is where my sister lives, she has x kids, is married to y, they work as z" as we drove past and on to the next.
We didn't make it to a second date.

Another told me it was a real shame I'd be one of the first to die when 'the revolution comes'.
Have no idea what revolution as I didn't stick around to find out.

Another turned up in knee length camo cargos, white socks pulled up so only his knees were sticking out the top & deck shoes to a first date.
We were supposed to be going out to dinner.

Then there was the guy who described everything as 'lurv.....ely' all said on one long breath
I still can't hear that word drawn out without shuddering.

A guy who was so good looking I could have forgiven him most things told me it was a real shame it wasn't the 1920s as I'd have been considered beautiful then with my pale skin & asked me if I'd thought of using fake tan to look a bit more normal.

A guy who made it into the bedroom never got back in again after we'd DTD & he then proceeded to tell me how generous he was to his girlfriends, listing such highlights as when he bought a value argos microwave for his ex for Christmas, a dress from the market for some previous girl.
This is a guy with his home, own yacht, very nice car & a decent income.
I don't date based on what a guy can give me, & I have enough for a decent lifestyle all by myself, but for some reason the thought of him buying his girlfriend the cheapest microwave he could find for Christmas was a complete deal breaker.

floraeasy · 23/04/2017 13:51

That "Hey ho...the wind and the rain...." phrase has been haunting me Grin yeah, I'm, sad.

Looked it up and it turns out it's from Twelfth Night - appropriately sung by The Fool, ha! Still no idea why that guy felt it appropriate to shove into every lull in a conversation though...!

FOOL

(sings)
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man’s estate,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came, alas! to wive,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came unto my beds,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
With toss-pots still had drunken heads,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
But that’s all one, our play is done,
And we’ll strive to please you every day.

BurntAroundTheEdges · 23/04/2017 15:09

I just thought of another terrible encounter I had. It was the last date I had before meeting my now OH.
He didn't put his hand in his pocket all night. He asked me to go to the shop to pick up the alcohol and cigarettes for the both of us, I also paid for the take away. He didn't have the heating on in his house (it was December) cause he said if I cuddled up to him I wouldn't feel the cold. He could not take a joke at all! The conversation was purely about motobikes and the film he put on was a sort of documentary about the motorcycle races and the history of it at the isle of man. When the film finished........... He pressed rewind and we had to watch it again. Yes, it was on video tape! And no, this wasn't the early nineties, this was December 2012.

notarehearsal · 23/04/2017 16:49

Had spoken and text via old. He was travelling to my town by train and plan was to go out and get some food. Morning of date he texts to say he can't afford train ticket as well as eating out! So, foolish me, invites him to mine and said I'd cook. It's broad daylight And I had neighbour friends walking by to ensure I was ok. Arrived empty handed and sort of shimmies at the door saying in a sleazy voice ' weeeellll do you like what you see?' He had a man bag and although nice looking was kind of effeminate and sort of wiggled around. The afternoon was awful. He drank two bottles of wine and ate almost a who,e chicken before asking if he could take remainders home with him. Wtaf. I got a call from a friend ( genuine call) and he suddenly got up and stormed off. I left it a bit then called to ask what the problem was. He said it was clear I wasn't going to have sex with him so there was no point in staying!

Janey50 · 23/04/2017 18:11

Reading this thread has made me realise that there are a lot of men out there with a funny shaped penis! Maybe I've just been lucky but I can honestly say that in all my 53 years I've not yet encountered a peculiar one (unless you count one with a very large girth that nearly made me gag when trying to give him a BJ).

Mermaidinthesea123 · 23/04/2017 18:17

Janey 50 in my 30 years of nursing I have NEVER seen a triangular penis. I simply must see one before I die now. It's on my bucket list.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 23/04/2017 18:22

Guy who never said a single word the whole time he was eating just sat there masticating for half an hour.
It IS possible to eat and chat, really it is.
I felt as awkward as hell.

donerwillbehere · 23/04/2017 19:22

All of the above ....
accents on people that served him
Anyone he spoke to such as Irish or Jamaican .... he would automatically assume they ate cabbage or chicken ..... so embarrassing.

Also would click fingers and shout I mean shout ' problem with this '

Egotistical...... spend soo much time about him and had no interest about me or anyone else

Spoke about all his con quests during but during DTD was such a man child .....

Road rage OMG even when a red light he would thump the steering wheel. Always argue over a driving fine .

Did not have any social etiquette ... blerugh

Soo many and all from the same man
Well child even my adolescent children would raise an eyebrow ..lucky escape Confused

MirriMazDuur · 23/04/2017 19:35

What do you mean about the accents and assuming what they ate? How did that come up? Or am I misunderstanding?

thenightsky · 23/04/2017 19:56

Had a bedroom so full of crap (was a hoarder) that he had to sleep on his mum's sofa. Yes, he still lived with his mum at the age of 37.