Little things that put you off going out with someone

[TakeAwayThatCaterpillar]

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

2. Liked Miranda.

3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

3. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.

Rang me up after a couple of dates, I explained I was shoe shopping with DS(14). He then proceeded to tell me slowly (as if a bit distracted...) that he was in bed, thinking of me...and ask if I liked that idea.. while I checked the fit and price of trainers. He was rather offended that I said I was a bit busy for a chat and hung up!

Said he was a greenhorn with women

Left athletes foot cream on his nightstand

Called me his "warrior princess"

Not one I dated, thankfully, but the flatmate of uni boyfriend some years ago - kept going on and on about how all women were fundamentally untrustworthy and prostitutes especially deserved to be beaten up for destroying society.

Occupation: mortician.

Brightened up my Saturday evening and making me slightly scared of ever being single again!

Said 'ugh, don't do that' just as I was reaching orgasm.

He also told me me the vagina was self cleaning

That is true, though, to be fair.

declarations of undying love when not even going out....and badly judged!!

Silly, but too many Clinique men's products in the bathroom & dripping taps

Changed my surname to his in our work's signing in book and drew a heart around our names.

Told my friends on meeting them that he was going to marry me one day. This was about two weeks in to our relationship.

1. Had a needle dick and called me a bitch and a whore as he came. WTF?

same guy, after sex when I was on the loo, flung the door open "Well, we've got nothing to hide now have we?" BYEEE.

1. Turned out to be married, which was why he could only see me instead of going to stamp collecting club.

Same guy cried when the condom split. (realised why, see above)

I had a guy back me into a corner once and give him my number (I was very obviously pretending not to know my number and he suggested calling him from my phone). He kept called and texted me asking me out, I ignored both). Then I was woken in the middle of the night by him calling and leaving a message going on and on about what an amazing night it had been and how I'd really missed out and listing celebrities that had also been in the pub.

He still asked me out again after I text him asking him not to call me in the middle of the night. He didn't get the message until I started going out with his housemate.

Years later he told an old friend of mine 'Oh yes, I know +++++. I almost went out with her' !

I had a male friend tell people (unbeknown to me) that we were dating (we weren't) but not to mention it as we were keeping it on the down low. When I asked my now dh out who was his friend it came out! I confronted him and he said he loved me but could see I didn't feeel the same and that he knew I liked my now dh and wanted to stop it as one day he thought he could convince me eventually! Very strange!

I once dated a guy who wanted to be a pirate... I honestly thought he was joking untill he described in great detail the the pirate boots he was hoping to get for his birthday :/ he was also a bit of a shit kisser, very sloppy no second date...

second guy took me on a date, a nice walk in a rather nice park, hot day and was genuinely quite good.... untill we sat on the grass and he tried it on... in the middle of the park....at lunchtime (ish) an hour into the first date.... don't think so :/

He then accused me of dressing like his mother, so I casually mentioned that he dressed a lot like mine.

Panetulipani, there is not enough applause in the world for this.

There was also a time when I was in a club, met a guy who used to go to my school so we started chatting.... at 10.30pm (club opened at 9 and I never got there for opening!!) he was tapping my leg asking to take me back to his house... repetedly.... I ended up asking a male friend for help in pretending to be my date so he would leave me alone.... ended up getting rather drunk with said friend and taking things a bit too seruously.... to the point I woke up in his bed

Changed my surname to his in our work's signing in book and drew a heart around our names. - I'm at this!

I nominate this thread for classics, I've been pmsl reading these. Here are my howlers, I think I can be forgiven for my lamentably poor dating choices, I was newly divorced & letting off some serious steam.

Extra long toenails - like not cut in a year, how did his shoes fit?
Absolutely filthy rank house, thick thick thick dust everywhere
Frogmarching me to the cashpoint to withdraw £ to pay for the date!
The bloke who screamed his way through orgasm
The chap who wanted me to buy him a £50 candle within half an hour of meeting. Took me to the shop & everything!
Mr Oxford educated lawyer who wore belly-high Y-fronts...
The guy who said 'I bet you'd be incredible on weed' (in bed)... -actually I don't do weed & I'm incredible without it...
2 or 3 with severe anger issues
The chap with the battleship unflushable turds
The chap who had a nearly hairless toothbrush! & I only saw it the morning after. Think of the mouldy teeth ewwww
The guy who happily accepted a bj but pulled a face at returning the favour 'were you born in a barn or something?' -he said. Like I was a dirty cow for asking
Oh and the guy who thought it was funny that his flatmate was a drug dealer and they were almost bust by rival suppliers! -I ran like the hills

I'm in a much healthier place now regards men, thankfully!

pass me your pussy is absolutely hilarious.

Oh god so many..
One of my previous love interests turned up on a date with a piece of A4 paper sellotaped to him "Property of (my name)" with hearts drawn around it.
Somehow I didn't notice for about 30 mins, don't ask how.. so weird.

One guy, who had brought his mate on the date with us (that should have been a red flag, I know) then proceeded to ask me out again by saying he'd take me to pizza express because his other mate is the manager and we'll get it for free.

Another one had Jack Johnson on a loop on his stereo all night the one time I stayed over. I can never listen to him ever again.

Used text speak
Liked to text by way of communication, and frequently.
Liked football
busy on social media
had a beard
poor table manners
Looked like they were too groomed, or not groomed enough.

That's horrible, fabuola!

Did Jimmy Savile impressions 😳
Came round to meet my parents in a Pringle 'sweater' and ...
They liked him - definite no no !!

I went to use his bathroom and noticed he'd ripped part of the label of his shampoo bottle off so it just said "poo".