AIBU to ask you all for your most PFB moments?

[user1477282676]

I just fancy a laugh and there's a lot of traffic here. So...mine is that on DD1's first birthday, I made the entire room sing Happy Birthday to her in a WHISPER so that she wouldn't be scared by all the loud singing.

And they all did it too! Bless them.

Now you!

Loving these, especially the pp who took off her coat.

My worst pfb moment was taking ds to an emergency doctor's appointment when he was a few weeks old because his arms didn't reach as far above his head as mine did.

Obviously the fact that all his clothes fitted and that numerous
HVs etc had seen him and not mentioned his freakishly short arms passed me by.

The GP was remarkably good about it.

Yeah she's never needed a change in the morning though😂 i would have done better if I left her in the babygrow she sleeps in and then changed her after her food splattering session!

DH and I seriously discussed whether 8 week old DT2 was blind because she didn't smile at us. By this point DT1 had been smiling for a whole week (not constantly ) so we were very concerned. I think we actually made different noises to see if she looked in the direction of the sound .

You'll be unsurprised to hear her vision was fine and she started smiling soon afterwards - mostly at my next door neighbour though so perhaps she just didn't like us much!

I asked a lovely community nurse who ran an under 1's group I went to if it was ok to open the window a little at night while DD slept?

Bad enough, but instead of dismissing my PFB fears, as she had every right to do (and probably should have done) she mentioned the risk of foxes coming in. I've since realised she must have thought we lived in a ground floor flat or something because why the fuck else would I be asking such a stupid question, but at the time I took it seriously. We lived in a two storey house and there wasn't even a sloping roof out of DD's window. I still didn't open the window

My late MIL used to put the baby wipes on the radiator for a few seconds so they weren't cold when she changed her GCs nappies Not quite PFB but one of funniest ones I could think of.

I told my sister I would never let DS (then aged 10 months) watch the Tweenies because Bella was a bully and a Bad Influence

Totally agree, that Bella was a wrong 'un IMHO.

Seriously laughing about the pp who took a microwave on holiday, and the dh who changed light bulbs to low watt ones

On a pfb thread a few years ago there was a poster who sweated her way up a really long, steep hill pulling the pram backwards so the sun didn't shine on her baby

I was obsessed with temperatures when first born was a baby, if I went into a shop for even 30 seconds I'd whip his hat off instantly, then back on instantly we got outside, every single shop along a street. And had at least three thermometers for his bedroom to make sure it was exactly 18degrees and he was wearing exactly the right tog sleeping bag. I printed out the guidelines and pinned them up in his room to make sure everyone else would adhere to them.

Only used cotton wool and water for nappy changes for ds for a month. Fuck me that was hard work. Dd had wipes from day one.

I used to warm the baby wipes! I also used to lie on the changing mat in the middle of the night to take the chill off it before I put DS on it.

These are hilarious... Hopping thinking about you taking your coat off is still making me chuckle... Dh keeps asking me what I'm laughing at! I suggest anyone having a bad day reads this thread...

I'm worse with my third child. I took him to A&E the other week because he fell whilst climbing and cut his nose.

Felt like such an idiot afterwards but at the time there was so much blood I was sure it would need stitches...

Well I'm pleased that I have amused so many people !!!
I can see how nuts it was now but at the time it seemed perfectly logical , having said that I was so tired that I hallucinated Elvis at one point .

I made a jelly bunny for PFB's first birthday but it seemed too cold for her so I warmed it in the microwave.

I've told this before...the first time i left pfb, my bf was babysitting. I always used to sing a certain song to settle him, so asked her to sing it to me, so I could check she knew it properly. Bless her, she duly complied and sang to me and dh, then asked if Jeremy Beadle was filming .

It was Bohemian Rhapsody 😂.

I wish I was kidding.

Ahh, I remember one night when DS screamed and screamed. DH and I sang every song we could think of, hoping to calm him down, and ended up dueting on Bohemian Rhapsody. We thought it was hilarious at the time.

I'm pregnant so no pfb stories yet, but I do have pk (kitten) stories.

I would weigh her weekly and chart her weight gain

Bringing her food bowl to her to encourage her to eat.

My husband would test her food to make sure it was ok.

Sleeping on the sofa so as not to turf the sleeping kitten off the bed.

I put a hot water bottle inside DGDs grobag while she was in the bath, so that when it was time to dress her, her sleeping bag was toasty. This was in autumn so it wasn't even cold out .

I sent scan pictures to my family. I thought they were cute. Precious looked like a grainy alien, same as every foetus really .

I rang my Mum to check it was ok to take pfb's hat off when he was outside yet. It was May and he was 6 months old.

These are great - especially taking the coat off

I remember a great one from when dd was about 3 or 4 at Easter time. Friend was visiting, with her PFB of about the same age. My DD was only allowed a white chocolate or chocolate buttons egg (not too much caffeine!). Friend's dd was only allowed high cocoa-solids black chocolate egg (not too much sugar!). To be fair, we did laugh about it even then.

Were we the only family where one adult used to sit in the back of the car with baby seat staying in the front because it was such a nightmare getting a wriggling baby into/out of the back of a small 2 door hatchback??? (I still think with hindsight that was the easiest of a bad set of options.)

I took DS (not first baby!) to the out of hours GP because he had had his first bubble bath and wouldn't stop screaming and I was convinced his lips were swelling up. DH phoned NHS24 and when the woman on the phone tried to convince him that screaming 8 week old babies were normal I told DH to hold the phone up to DS's mouth so she could hear the screaming for herself. She made us the out of hours appt and I felt vindicated. By the time I got to the doctor DS had stopped screaming and chirped happily. Luckily it was absolutely empty there and so hopefully I helped the doctor through a boring evening shift. In my defence, DD1 was stillborn and DS got meningitis at 7 weeks and we were hospitalised over the weekend until the lab reopened and they were able to test his lumbar sample properly and discovered it was only viral. We'd only been home a week when the screaming incident occurred. At the time I thought I was handling it all admirably and wasn't anxious at all.

Oh, and I told everyone that DS was allergic to Johnson's baby products. This included a warning post on FB and one on MN to warn all parents.

We bought a wall mounted heater which we attached in our bedroom, facing down on the changing table. It was switched on every time we changed DS. We even carried the baby bath filled with water into the bedroom to do the bath under the heater. Only the best for DS you see.

Obviously, when DD arrived 20 months later she was just plonked into the family bathroom and rinsed off with baby bath in the main bathtub once every ten days or so. Like normal people do.

With DS we also only used reusable cloth wipes instead of baby wipes until he was 3 months old. When visiting my DM for a few weeks when DS was 11 weeks I nearly screamed at her when I saw her take out a box of Pampers Sensitive wipes. ALL THOSE CHEMICALS!
I now wipe both DCs faces with baby wipes before, during and after every meal.

Loving these!

I warmed babywipes on my naked belly for DC1 overnight and kept the packet on the radiator during the day. DC2 got them cold. DC1 also got a towel on the changing mat to prevent a cold bottom.

I pulled the double pushchair backwards so the sun didn't go in their eyes only a fortnight ago 😳 Until I removed half the skin from the back of my foot.

I cut DC1s sandwiches up into 0.5 cm cubes as I was worried about choking until about 11 months. DC2s first food was a quaver at 5 months.

I used to happily leave DC1 upstairs in bed from about 3 months old (with the monitor on) but i spent the first 7 months of DC2s life sat in a dark bedroom in silence from 7pm every night!

yumscrumfatbum - that's hysterical !
Some great ones, I can't say much done few of the same things 😳

I carried ds around the house with me for the first few weeks too. He came even came along to the toilet!

I sterilised everything, including his bowl & spoon, until I saw him put random stuff from the floor in his mouth and I realised I was being stupid.

I did the hat on/off thing too. Can't have him overheating!

We entered him in a baby photo competition and couldn't believe he didn't win. Saw the picture back years later and he really wasn't as beautiful as we thought.

As a mw, I have also witnessed quite a lot of pfb behaviour too. Depending on how bonkers, I either go with it or gently suggest that other ways are possible. Although it can be amusing to watch the ultra gentle bum cleaning and dressing techniques people have.

I can thank hormones for mine. Second night at home, so day 3 after having ds, DH and I watched Kick Ass - a film I'd previously loved. I watched in horror, literally hiding behind my hands at the most violent parts, then finally turned to DH in floods of tears and wailed "one day we're going to die and leave him all alone".

Whatallama until I had ds I only had kitten stories too. We had a 1st birthday party for our oldest cat and invited all our friends...

Incidentally we're not planning a 1st birthday party for ds...