Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

[TiggyD]

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at.

It's hard being English.

I like flasks too, tits (may I call you tits?).

I recently bought a 5 litre one to do teas at DS' footie training. I was very pleased that day, I can tell you.

I don't wish to blow your minds but I once had a deep fried Mars bar - in Tunbridge Wells!!!

I can only imagine it was some kind of weird North/South aberration (or I imagined it).

I stayed in a posh hotel and the full English came with scattered chives and orange slices as a garnish

I would have had to fight to keep myself to dry heaving if my breakfast was -runined decorated with a load of shit vegetation-- fronds.

The middle middle and upper middle classes have reclaimed the sausage roll, I find. You cannot walk in a straight line down my local poncetastic market street for mammoth sausage rolls (short and wide, thin pastry) which retail for about a fiver a pop. They even made them on bake off last night.

I quite like the look of them and would probably serve with beans and brown sauce for a well classy supper.

Talc
No service engineer is going to turn out at two in the morning to unclog your filters, that's for sure

Fiderer

So are German sausage rolls the wurst rolls?

ta-boom tish

Hot tubs only feature in the gardens of ex council houses round here.

The problem with middle class cafes is that you can't buy a cake that isn't either vegan, gluten free or both. Fine if that's all you can have but they taste pretty awful if you're used to the real thing.

I've been traumatised since being served fish and child

Would have been too!

OP - this is THE question.... was the hot chocolate made with real milk or milk POWDER??????

I'd like to add that I went to Audley And today and I had to drink my tea out of a cardboard cup 😠😤😲😲😲😱😱😱

That's English Heritage for you. You don't get paper cups at a naice NT house.

Vanilla

That emotion storyboard is a Masterpiece of Theatre.

Thank you.

Vanilla - I don't know. They didn't allow me to see them make it. I was sent to a table while they did their special rituals. They did offer soy milk as an alternative.

They also sell special water from Brighton that comes in biodegradable and refillable cartons. As you would expect from Brighton.

I got charged £5 for a sausage roll and a bit of lettuce in a garden centre cafe the other day. £5!!! I only wanted a sausage roll, wasn't bothered about the salad at all.

Aye Speckle there is a certain satisfaction of not getting some insipid, potentially healthy, fruit based pish.
Or worse.
An opaque, horlicks coloured polystyrene cup of alleged tea.

I may be too Yorkshire.

👫🐕🐶

🍻

🎭

2kids -

Yes they fucking well are. Have had many a discussion with fellow expats after the "no self-raising flour here and all substitutes leave an odd tingle on your tongue" conversation.

I had lunch in a cafe in Bath at the weekend. All very nice (although their croque monsieur was a cheese and ham toastie, no bechamel in sight) and for afters I had a millionaire's shortbread. Which they had warmed through.

What the Jeff? It was utterly wrong. I like my millionaire's shortbread cold, if not a little chilled, so the chocolate topping (and it must be chocolate, none of your chocolate-flavoured shite) is crisp and snaps when you bite into it.

I was outraged.

There's a restaurant called Star Inn (sic) the City that serves its artisanAL bread (cos the worker is the Artisan, who makes ArtisanAL things, no need to thank me) in cloth flat caps.

I prefer my bread on a plate, thanks.

Um I'm missing something here
Who cares if it's an ' upper class/ middle class cafe
If you got money to pay for the food - you're good enough

I'd have sent that back, kernowgal.

Oh yes, builders' tea is the only kind. Failing that, instant coffee. Fruit tea is Satan's brew.

I should have done but I was in shock. It was all wrong.

That was to tits. Got too carried away to address it properly.

Weinstein backpulver is what you need. It's very good, no weird aftertaste.

Eerrr, that was to Fiderer about a million posts ago.