Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

[TiggyD]

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at.

It's hard being English.

Ah, lower middle. That presents more of a problem.

A cafe with the proprietor's name could be your Shangri La: Jenny's Kitchen or Glenda's Teapot, for example. Any evidence of frilliness is likely to result in a less poncetastic offering.

They may still serve your sausage roll with a salad garnish, but it will be so elderly and dried up, it will be obvious that you are not meant to actually eat it.

I would say the opposite is true about hot tub possession. I think it's rather gauche.

Hot tub = human soup.
Gross.
Thank goodness I'm not of the social class that thinks a hot tub is de rigeur.

Crunchy batter, melting chocolate, hot caramel, what could be better?

Love the term 'de rigeur'. I wish to use it more often.

SirChengin
Excuse my ignorance but does the chocolate not melt in the hot oil or do you put batter on it ?

Love the term 'de rigeur'. I wish to use it more often.

The deep fried Mars bar is regional cuisine. You need different parameters for that.

They coat it in batter and deep fry it.

I have never actually tried one, but I imagine they are delicious eaten in a hot tub with a greasy sausage roll.

There was something artisanal about the sausage roll. Like they used an actual sausage rather than sausage meat.

But was it an outdoor reared sausage roll?
Free range? Grass fed?

This might have been an upper middle class cafeteria

We stayed at a Best Western where the chef obviously thought the guests were posher than they were. Our dinner was liberally scattered with pea shoots, including the children fish fingers goujons and chips frites. We only realised the extent of quite how common we were when our pudding arrived also covered in green fucking shoots . I mean it never would have occurred to us peasants to put pea shoots on apple pie and custard or chocolate sponge pudding and ice cream. tsk tsk.

Sorry SirCh - I am from the Deep South (of England) where deep frying is now against the law except for establishments serving tempura prawns with a soy ginger dipping sauce. And licensed purveyors of fish and chips (no sauce or gravy of course).

Clearly there is a glitch in the Matrix today. We visited Lavenham and stopped at the National Trust tea rooms...or did we? Previous visits to NT tea rooms have led me to expect certain standards.

First, no hand-written sign informing us of the origin of the pork in the sausage roll. Nothing to say it was from an organic, hand-reared, beloved piggy - let alone the location of said piggy's previous home.

But then, the sausage roll was served. If "served" isn't too kind a word. NO salad garnish, with or without drizzle. NO crisps game chips. NO mini china pot of English mustard.

It was a sad, and rather dry, sausage roll.

When I worked in a chippy (those good old student days!) we experimented with various chocolate bars to see which ones worked battered. The denser the better! Aeros, flakes, and maltesers resulted in hollow batter and much disappointment... Deep fried snickers was my personal favourite

Drizzled at made me laugh!!

I did this in central London, was pissing down and needed to take my 3 year old somewhere for lunch. The two of us dashed in, settled down and then belatedly realised it was REALLY posh, based of flowers, sugar tongs, little spindly glass tables etc.
Complete nightmare with a toddler

My friend and I went to a cafe with an accent the other day. We ordered a bacon sandwich each for breakfast. Came with a side salad.

What type of establishment would serve lasagne with a strawberry on top?
I didnt want to appear uncouth by questioning the chefs decision but...?

Are the pea shoots regional too? I don't think I've been exposed to them before, but on holiday in Devon this summer, nearly everything (though not pud) had them. They really are not an acceptable substitute for croutons in soup.

I went into a local cafe today with DS and turns out it's an Arts Cafe and they do not have a license for hot food. We had tea and toast and left. I said thank you bye and no response he just looked at me funny. Obviously we are far too common to think we woud be welcome back.

It's only really posh if there is a board above the counter that tells you not only the name of the farm that today's meat has originated from, but the name of the farmer, his phone number, the name of his wife, her best friend's name and the name of the cow or pig you are about to eat.

I dream at nights of sausage rolls - with/without drizzly oily salad - here in Forrin.

Was in the land of such dreams at half-term. The Joy. Am now back in Forrin and bereft.

Have been known to drool down the airport bus window as it passed an SR Emporium.

The National Trust are usually quite insistent on telling you all about the pig's life, character, hobbies etc. Strange.

No Mason jars that I could see Autumnal.

I tried to have sex in a hot tub once. Relax your grip for a second and the currents suddenly swirl you to the other side of the tub to your partner, necessitating much frantic paddling to get back to what you've started. They have a sexy image that they can't live up to.

If my drink arrives in a jam jar I know I'm not the target clientele.

I stayed in a posh hotel and the full English came with scattered chives and orange slices as a garnish.

Errol peachiest are all the rage now. If you get given a Lollo Rosso garnish you must leave immediately.