Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

[TiggyD]

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at.

It's hard being English.

I saw this spoof news story the other day.

Benedict Cashmere-Luroll hosted a launch party for his new swanky eatery Good Karma Bites in Leigh Lane last night, but his shutters had come down for good this morning when it emerged that his commitment to ‘wholesome vegetarian vegan gluten-free organic fairtrade ethical produce’ had basically stopped him from preparing every known food substance on the planet.

Kreesh - sad thing is, they probably thought they were being posh. Unless its regionally correct in essex? (Odd concept ...)

The orange garnish with the fry up is not new. Does anyone else remember the Ben Elton stand up from the early 90s where he was bemoaning the pointless garnishes in life and that now everyone was at it? He says he went to a greasy spoon and got orange on his plate and says 'what's this?' and the lady says 'garnish, it looks nice' he replies along the lines of 'vaginas look nice but i don't want them with my egg and bacon!'

I managed to move DH up at least a whole class, lower middle to middle middle by producing a gluten free child. Over the years he has been forced to change his caf to and at least an accented e.

He hasn't thanked me yet.

I quite like a bit of dressing on a side salad. But I also like a pasty microwaved so that the pastry has gone a bit soggy, covered in brown sauce, so I think it offsets.
Once ordered a ham salad baguette in a pub which had banana, chives and mayonnaise on top of the lettuce as the salad . This was long before hipsters and artisanal was a thing: we just put it down to the fact that they must have run out of tomatoes (and that the staff were Australian so maybe they have funny ways). It was unsurprisingly rank.

Where is the class line on burrito places decorated to look like old whore houses of ill repute?

I preferred burritos the one with plain wooden benches that served them in plastic baskets. But I have a feeling that place was strictly for the yoof and the ill repute place had jars for glasses so might be posher.

Also went to a burger place that gave a donut/waffle instead of a burger bun as an option(?) I have the feeling this is middle class posing as working class. Fake graffiti on walls too.

I don't remember that MrsKoala

WingMirrorSpider

I think it depends on the average age of the clientele. At Betty's doilies= posh. Also at trendy hipster cafes doiles are ironic and put the prices up by a fiver.

In between doilies are unthinkable in upper and lower class cafes.

Tiniti
I'm sorry your DH doesn't appreciate your efforts to improve the social status of your beverage consumption.

However, if your gluten free child was actually not medically diagnosed as gluten free but rather gluten free because your Reiki therapist had diagosed them as such with a crystal pendulum that might have moved you to angst ridden urban upper middle.

Betty is NOT posh! runs and hides

Today I'm taking the DC to a new place in town that supposedly does great milkshakes.

I made the mistake of looking at photos online. I don't think it's meant for folks like us. There's industrial looking light fittings and the milkshakes are served in huge jars.
The kids are excited though so we're still going.

I'm being very British and fretting about how I'll order. Is it sit down and they come to you? Or do I order at the bar?

First world problems indeed.

Until
The trick is to faff around at a table sorting out the DC's coats and bags for a couple of minutes. Hopefully, whilst you are doing that either a member of staff will approach you or you will see someone go up and order.

First world solution

My most stressful holiday experience was going to New York and ordering in cafes and delis with my working class cockney Dad saying 'Nah, Jus' Tea'll do' when asked what type of tea was required, then what type of milk (never knew so many existed) while i am all lower middle/social climbing and self aware and trying to blend in but just sort of opening my mouth and nothing coming out while i stand staring at the board of thousands of combinations of the humble cup of tea.

I couldn't even resort to my normal MrsKoala in Europe modus operandi and say loudly and slowly DRY. WHITE. WINE. Which i find gets me thru most holidays (hungry and drunk of course - but it's a small price to pay).

I had a friend over from America and decided to introduce him to the delights of Gravy and chips (northern style) He was looking at the menu board and got all excited that the chippy served scallops. unfortunately up north a chippy scallop is not some lovely fish dish. Its par boiled potato,covered in batter and deep fried . bloody gorgeous with loads of salt and vinegar though. Did manage to convert him to having brown sauce on his sausage and bacon butties . So that was a result.

Dear ladies of MN I need your help. Last night after reading this thread I could not sleep for worrying about sausage rolls and how to avoid a monumental social faux pas.
You see for Christmas I always make sausage rolls according to the word of Saint Delia (very middle class in the 80's) but having watched the GBBO final and seen Candice's piggy sausage rolls with crackling tails and little faces, I wonder - should I raise my game and create porcine delights modelled with full facial features to demonstrate my aspiration to culinary heights or are sausage rolls a la Candice just too twee and lower middle class and therefore to be avoided like the plague.
I have always considered myself middle middle class. I own an Aga don't ya know!.
What is the verdict of the MN jury?

I remember a coffee stand opening at Paddington station after ages with no caffeine supplies at all. 7am, queue of desperate travellers. "Coffee please" from first one. "Would you like an espresso, cappuccino, latte,.."
"Just sell me a fucking coffee!"

Ten minutes later the staff had ditched their spiel and were doing a roaring trade in "just coffee".

The only time I have ever sworn at a service person was when I got the hard sell from a Twinings rep in California, and it turned out that while he did indeed have over 100 flavours of tea, not one of them was tea flavoured.

It's a fucking herbal infusion then, not tea!!!

The best thread to read while sipping my homemade ceremonial grade matcha latte!

I like a nice hobo cafe. Here's a picture of my current favourite. Sadly they don't do sausage rolls. I'm piss poor though, so definitely don't qualify for middle class. Is "an impoverished offspring of the middle class" a class of its own?

I buy Greggs sausage rolls from Iceland.

When we still had our boat the local chippy to where it was moored did deep fried pizza. I loved that chippy. I wasn't a proper posh boat owner though as I didn't have deck shoes and a silly hat.

I have frequented The Old Shoreditch Station - a cafe that hosts art exhibitions amongst the reclaimed timber tables, science lab chairs, upside down hanging plants, bean bags etc. etc..

You know you're in Hipster Central when you are sipping an organic fair trade beard clipping infusion next to a display of crocheted butchery.

Tiggy - avoid, unless you want a sausage roll with a high 4-ply wool content.

Have to say I worked in Starbucks.

And...

I have no sympathy for the 'just coffee ' customers. You give them a filter coffee an 9 times out of 10 they shout out you because they "wanted a LATTE".

Order a sodding latte then.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude why thank you, I'll try that. I'm down to one child now mind as the eldest has had a better offer from friends. Luckily the one left is crown prince of faffing so hopefully he'll live up to his best.

I actually love a ridiculous hipster cafe. We'll kind of. I love the ones that sell all things unhealthy. I'm not so keen on the low carbs, raw food and/or quinoa variety.

I think I might take DS2 to one that serves freakshakes this afternoon. It's done up like the great British bake off tent, all bunting and twee shit, too. He thoroughly approves of such things (even if I will get very Scottish about the price).

Due to popular demand (and smiles at MNHQ) we are moving this to Classics...

mateys
I think sausage rolls with faces are very lower middle class. I suspect the upper classes only expect their food to have a face when they've just shot it and dumped it on the kitchen table.

The social status of the thread has just gone up a notch or two!