Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

[TiggyD]

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at.

It's hard being English.

I could murder a sausage roll right now. And I'm a vegetarian

Rattle I'm in Leeds and we have sliced potato fishcakes here, as well as Sheffield it seems. Barnsley is wrong as far as fish cakes are concerned. You can keep your rissoles .

Never heard them called patties either, it's just a fish cake. Isn't it amazing how things change so much over relatively short distances?

You've saved me £1.40 and more importantly, LUNCHTIME FOOD DISAPPOINTMENT, for which I'm truly grateful Kleptronic.

Who pays £7? SEVEN ENGLISH POUNDS for a Cornish Pasty? You don't even pay that in Padstein, Cornwall! Ye Gods!

Baguettes 4 Less is my favourite sausage roll purveyor. The 4 in the name tells you all you need to know.

They also do spicy cheese and tomato paninis which are beautiful cheesy joy and ideally followed by a Snickers.

Heman it was for 2, with drinks, at Chatsworth

Once you're there you are kind of at their mercy, if you've brought nothing with you.

Ah Every. Sorry. I worded my post incorrectly - it should be who CHARGES £7 for a pasty!?

The worst cafe I've had lunch in was the run by middle class Londoners who'd escaped to run a worthy herb farm in Scotland. The lunch choice was cold soup or cold stinging nettle quiche that had a green/blue tinge to it from nettle juice and barely any seasoning. The brownies were sugar free. Boaky boak.

The next time we were in the area we went to the garden centre for a square sausage roll and brown sauce.

Barbara/Rattlebag I always knew them as fish cakes too ( the fish between 2 slices of potato). I grew up on the Barnsley side of Wakey and now live in Leeds so not just a Sheffield thing I don't think.

I was in a poncey artisanal coffee place the other day with my do who's a bit of a twat coffee snob. I just wanted a cup of tea. A massive list of different types was read out and I just wanted proper stuff which they didn't have. I asked for the closest they had to Yorkshire tea which turned out to be Chai. It was NOTHING like Yorkshire tea. It was like drinking the aforementioned pott purree. I pretended to like it to fit in with all the hipsters but inside I was seething. The Dirty Bastards (™Catherine Tate)

Why the heck wouldn't a poncey coffee shop have something like a single-estate assam which would look ok on their tea menu but taste near as dammit like builders if sufficiently brewed?

You can't beat a Yorkshire Tea, one of my favourite singers is a Barnsley lass and she literally has a new song on her album about Yorkshire Tea.

Didn't someone start a thread the other day asking what reverse snobbery was? innocent
Back to sausage rolls -- DH came back with two from Waitrose the other day, (I don't eat them , they give me awful heartburn ) explaining they were on a bogof.
A bogof on sausage rolls at 'Trose -- whatever next??
They were really chunky buggers too.
dribbles

Errol, the tea menu was all herbal/flowery shit, no black tea at all. They roasted their own coffee beans though which I gather I was supposed to be impressed with.

When I used to go out shopping with my lovely gran we'd go for a coffee and she'd ask for 'Nescaff' and have an egg custard tart. I don't think she'd be too impressed with home roasted flat white and a vegan carob brownie.

Like fuck is Narberth anywhere near North Pembs!

North Pembs is Newport, Fishguard, St Davids. Haverfordwest, Milford, Pembroke Narberth, Tenby are all South.

I love Five Guys- their drinks dispenser has lots of different flavour soft drinks that I've not been able to find in shops. Their burgers are tricky to eat, but we've learned never order a burger and fries per person as it's hard to eat all the fries. One portion between 2 fills us nicely without giving us bloat.

Thread reminds me of old Readers' Digest story I read as a child, about a 'posh' hotel.

Waiter: would you like tea, coffee or chocolate?
Guest: tea, please
Waiter: India, China or Assam?
Guest: China
Waiter: with ice, milk or lemon?
Guest: Milk, please
Waiter: Jersey, Guernsey or Friesian?

Oh god you've just reminded me of a little caffay in Cornwall (north coast, right of Newquay, surfing school, PorthSomething)

£45 for a fish finger sandwich...
But with that, you get the "complimentary" amuse bouche, intercourse sorbet and luxury truffles with your espresso.

It looks like a shack.

That'll be in Padstein territory Vanilla .

I've been traumatised since being served fish and child on a lump of slate.
Even in our local wee town the advance of slate continues apace. The local pub now serves its steak and chips on a 'lump of slate'. The old proprietor will be birling in his grave. Thankfully we can still buy a Scotch pie though.

The other day, DP and I went into one of these artisanal faux-German (falsch-Deutsch?) cafes.

What amounted to hotdog and chips twice with two drinks came to just over £20. TWENTY POUNDS! TWENTY! That's three hours or so of minimum wage.

I thought I was quite middle middle class until that point.

@vanilla - I shudder to think what 'intercourse sorbet' is. I presume this is served at types of cafes I just wouldn't go into myself but wouldn't care that anyone else did.

You lot have all made me homesick.

"It is true! And we don't limit ourselves to Mars Bars - if it's made from sugar and coated in chocolate we'll deep fry it!"
There are parts of the US (very often parts that were originally settled by Scots, I don't think this is coincidence) where you can get deep fried butter. Deep. Fried. Fucking. Butter.

Not the part I'm in, I'm compelled to add. The part of the US where I am, you have to check carefully to make sure the 'eatery' you're about to enter actually serves meat. Or, worse, isn't entirely vegan. (I have nothing against vegetarians personally, although in my experience vegans tend to be more than usually angry. I like to amuse myself by assuming that they're angry about the fact that they desperately want a bacon double cheeseburger but I'm a devout meatetarian.)

I can't even walk into Five Guys, they cook their fries in peanut oil. Who even thought that was a good idea? Hipster bastards.

Auriga

I had a similar conversation in Claridges (not being a twat. Went for afternoon tea) when the V posh waiter asked me what I would like to drink

Me: Tea please
VPW: And would madam like darjeeling, lapsang souchon, Earl grey, blah blah blah...
Me: