Remind me again why it would be unreasonable to ban a fully function adult from touching the curtains?

[HoneyDragon]

It's a bendy pole. They do not need to be vigourously yanked with vigourously vigour to the ends of the pole.

If you do that then the poor smuck that closes them has to stand on the settee to put them back in the original place so they can open and shut with just a swish.

I don't see how it can be unreasonable to get a megaphone and scream

STOP FUCKING UP THE CURTAINS YOU BIG EVIL CURTAIN ANNHILATING BASTARD.

And yes this is the absolute most important thing I have to worry about. All other worries are mere vexations in comparison to this

What a pane!

Is it all bad op, or is there a silver lining?

You do have a point, though, Honey - apparently several prominent relationships have come to an end over issues involving curtains.

The whole Anne of Cleves malarkey was nothing to do with her being on the homely side - it was because she objected to Hezza wiping the royal chopper on the tapestry four-poster drapes after the wedding night fumble. She swore at him in German and threw a full chamber pot over his favourite doublet. Divorce ensued - she was lucky to remain attached to her head, given the circumstances.

Eminent historians have also put forward the theory that Cleopatra in fact stabbed Mark Antony with a length of Swish curtain track, after having asked him to put it up in the back bedroom at least twenty-six times in the space of the preceding fortnight. She then strangled herself with an ornamental tasselled tie-back that may have looked a bit like a snake if you glanced at it quickly.

Omg. I wishful could think of a pun but...

Dd2

Mum the curtains above my bed have come down

Mum the curtains on my cupboard have come down

Mum my blind has come down

AAARGH

If you are going to meet in the middle about this situation OP, perhaps it would be well to buy him a copy of 'Swish of the Curtain', by Pamela? That might well be a good mediation gift.

Talc

You know you're your history

Did someone say pelmet?
pbs.twimg.com/media/BLauS8_CMAAV0TZ.jpg

I don't think you have a dh problem, you have a MN problem.

What is the net effect on your relationship? Will he cotton on do you think?

There was a comedian on TV last night talking about angrily drawing curtains. He made the point that you can't angrily twist blinds closed. this morning I tried to angrily open mine to check. Turns out he's right

We need to draw all the comments together so a pole can be taken.

Ds is four and his joke of the month is " what did the doctor say to the man who said he felt like a pair of curtains? Pull yourself together. Oh how we have laughed eleventy million times

Made me think of you honey
Although my exdp had a serious grudge against our curtains in our previous home. There was a nack to closing our living room curtains but ex just seemed to love to beat the shit out of the curtains. Ex never won

wah.

I haven't even touched on Catherine the Great's festoon blinds in her downstairs loo. Or Edward the Black Prince and his dilemma with marks left on the plasterwork when he took the cafe rod down in the kitchen.

There's another whole thread to be had discussing prominent figures in history and their loft conversions. I may start it one day.

Yanbu. LTB. It's obviously curtains for him.

Fabulous puns - can't think of one myself - it's too late - well that's my excuse. My favourite is CrapDIL's above - "is it all bad or is there a silver lining" but there are so many other good ones...........

If he can't pull things together soon I'd definitely LTB.

Pooh careful. Someone will be along shortly to question your unreasonable rage and call him a 'poor bloke'.

I cannot abide curtain fiddlers.

Step away from the curtains or you may be impaled on the ...

You might say you are in a blind rage...

Tieback his hands so he can't mess with them, then drape yourself over something comfortable and pelmet yourself a minute or two of peace.

Dear Mr Dragon

This is your wife's solicitor speaking. She has instructed me to bring about divorce proceedings on the grounds Drape And Battery. I am gathering the evidence and it's looking like an open and shut case against you.

It is imperative that you seek legal representation as possible. Ask your solicitor to contact me. The sooner this whole unseamly matter is drawn to a close the better.

Yours faithfully

Mr Haber of Messrs Haber and Dashery, Solicitors

Dear Mr Dragon

Thank you for instructing me to represent you. I have a small window at 4pm tomorrow and I suggest that we meet to discuss your case. ment

How do you intend to pleat? Quilty or not quilty? There is a strong chance we can get you off the hook, so you hang in there and pull yourself together. Hopefully this can be quickly resolved and both sides can meet in the middle.

Yours faithfully

Mr Swag of Messrs Swag and Tail Solicitors.

Talc please start that thread! I must know about histporical figures and their loft conversions. I MUST!

I love Mumsnet

oh Honey! [dieslaughing]

I have no puns. I just can't bring myself to think of any. Has the fat lady sung yet?

A bendy pole is no use to anyone love, everyone knows a stiff pole does the job better.