Ridiculous things you've only recently realised you've been wrong about your entire life

[Seasidedolly]

I genuinely thought if you pulled the reverse cord on ceiling fans, it would circulate warm air.

My friend thought the yellow average speed cameras on motorways were there to look for missing children.

I had another recent revelation but I can't remember it now

My toaster goes from 1-9. After 9 minutes, you would NOT have toast. The longest mine toasts for is 4 minutes.

There's a nifty YouTube video which explains how toasters actually work and why the minutes thing doesn't usually apply.

My DH thought sanitary pads came in packets of 14 so it was enough for a year with a couple of spares "if you went swimming"... One per period, one period a month.

I'm grinning like a loon over Apocalypse's, SumThucker's and onecurrantbun1's contributions! And marvelling at the hardy lady!

Apolcalypse - I dread to think what his sexual technique was like if he thought it resembled a smear test!

Having said that, I do kind of enjoy the smear test in a sort of "fucks sake might as well get on with it" way as the nurses generally know (from experience) that's it's shit so are especially gentle and chatty. I've had some great laughs during smears, including my first when a blooming medical student (also a woman thank god) was in with us as well.

That the numbers on a toaster represent minutes of toasting, not an arbitrary degree of toastiness.

Oops, should have read the thread... toasters mentioned on this very page.

Oh also, I thought for a long time that STBEXH was 'son of a bitch ex husband', even though the acronym doesn't work. I still read it like that and the posts usually still make sense

Haha, Zoe I always read it as "stupid bastard ex husband".

Until recently, I thought Chase and Status was actually a musician called Jason Status.

Another one who is about hang glider.

Wait. What does STBEXH mean then??!

Soon To Be EX Husband

Ohh! I also thought it meant son of a bitch ex husband.

I did wonder what people put if they had a nice ex husband.

ALemony - I secretly still think thought that too. Jason Status seems to make more sense, somehow.

I thought Kardashian rhymed with station until my friends all pissed themselves laughing and pointing at gently corrected me.

I have just found out that Katie Hopkins isn't a character. I honestly thought she was an actress playing a role...like 'Loadsamoney (Harry Enfield) or Keith Lemon. I now feel as if I should be far more outraged by her than when I thought it was just an obnoxious character she was playing.

That the numbers on a toaster represent minutes of toasting

No they don't. That's not how toasters work unless you have a proper Dulit toaster.

AskingForAPal Hence why he's an ex At least at a smear test the kind nurse ladies apologise that it's a bit rubbish....

**Ninja I thought the Wolverine was a made up name of a comic character. Never knew its an actual animal my mind is blown

I thought it was hand gliding and so did a couple of my friends!

I only worked out about 5 years ago that 1st 2nd 3rd 4th used the last two letters of first second third fourth.

Mortified doesn't come close.

Iguana, I had never thought of that thing about the ordinal numbers until you said it then!

I was well into my twenties before I realised that things like lemsip, throat lozenges etc. are not just conveniently packaged lemon drinks/sweets but actually have an active ingredient and a maximum recommended dosage. I used to get through whole packets of them in a day.

Seriously? Lemsip has paracetamol, with 4-hourly doses - you could have overdosed & damaged your liver

At the very least diarrhoea? From all the sorbitol and decongestants?

Fancy some time off in Looe anyone?

Heh, every day's a school day. I thought Looe was in Belgium. It looks like it should be.

Haha, Zoe I always read it as "stupid bastard ex husband".

Well, DH could easily mean dear husband as dickhead too.

When I was at school I thought the Conservatives were also known as the Tory party because it was short for Conservatory. I don't know why but it seemed to make sense.

Also the football on aggregate thing - it's stuff that goes under tarmac, no? Therefore an ideal alternative to a grass pitch.

Once my gran told me that if you remove a mans balls from their sacks, they'll bounce like bouncy balls and that's how the sperm swim to the egg - from the bounce waves of the balls

I believed this until A Level Biology so not so bad.. Is it?