Ridiculous things you've only recently realised you've been wrong about your entire life

[Seasidedolly]

I genuinely thought if you pulled the reverse cord on ceiling fans, it would circulate warm air.

My friend thought the yellow average speed cameras on motorways were there to look for missing children.

I had another recent revelation but I can't remember it now

Dearly; the cross-eyed bear.

Huh? We had Gladly the cross-eyed bear...'

From another hymn, I was convinced it was
'My hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone...'

I thought Al Capone and Al Pacino were the same person until recently secretly still do. So I was amazed that they'd got that gangster from prohibition in some film recently - he must be getting on a bit, I thought!

Dying a little bit at Pat O'Banton from page 3 Dorothy

Until last week I thought a 'fluffer' was like a compere sort of person who did some kind of warm-up act to get the audience going or to look after a person/group of people until some kind of main event.

A few weeks ago at work I had a really important visitor arriving but I was double booked so I had to ask my boss to look after him for half hour while my other meeting finished. Yep, I emailed my boss with the words 'Would you mind being the fluffer and looking after [insert VIP's name].' This is actual text from my email. I need to engineer a conversation with him so I can make clear that I don't/didn't fully understand what a fluffer is.

Oh my god Ubertwat - you didn't?! hahahaha poor you, and lord knows how your boss "looked after" VIP visitor!

Maybe your boss doesn't know either and so it's all ok? Just trying to put a positive spin on it...

But, oh, poor you

My DH thought sanitary pads came in packets of 14 so it was enough for a year with a couple of spares "if you went swimming"... One per period, one period a month.

Maybe that's why many men think a tax on sanitary pads is no big thing ... if I only had to buy one packet a year that sure would save a lot of money!

I think a fluffer means both things. It was acceptable to use it in that instance

My DH thought girls had one big bleed each month. He thought they felt it coming on,headed for the toilet, and had one big rush of blood,then finished for another month. Bit like a monthly pee.

@Clawdy: What did he think pads and tampons were for?

For that awkward time when you're flying a plane or whatever and can't just rush to the loo, presumably?

He'd never heard of tampons and had no real idea what pads were,they were not advertised in those days and his mum would have died before she let him or his brothers see a pack!

I still struggle to accept the first 'R' in February.

Also a few years ago, playing Cluedo I suggested that it was Colonel Mustard - pronounced Col-on-el. Why is it even spelt like that

Hmm, good question. I would guess it has something to do with "colon" = "column" in some language (er, Latin?!) and he was the chap in charge of a column/line of soldiers?

And you know what we're like in English about glossing over syllables we CBA to deal with. Or at least you would if you were from Worcester, or Bicester, or Marylebone, or Magdalen College. Or your surname was Cholmondely.

Oh god, had another one just today. A colleague always asks if I fancy a drink "at stumps". I presumed this was some kind of nickname for a pub

Turns out it means "at the end of the day", some kind of cricket term. Feel a proper twonk now.

To be fair that one's a bit obscure & relies on cricket terminology knowledge.

I always get Mickey Rooney and Mickey Rourke mixed up. Their names, that is..,

One of them is dead, if it helps, Flys

Similar to Clawdy, my DH thought that women on their period just bled from time to time. Like, every few hours you'd feel it coming on, and then there'd be a couple of drops of blood, and then nothing for a few more hours. He was horrified and didn't believe me when I said that I bleed constantly for 5 days!

Worse, he did A-level Biology, and grew up with a couple of sisters!

Bit like a monthly pee.

Wouldn't that be good. So easy. Oh- cramp ...oh - monthly wee. Oh-sorted!

The Mickey Rooney/Mickey Rourke thing has just reminded me. Whenever people talked about someone being a bit of a "Walter Mitty" character, I thought of Walter Matthau and so imagined them being all jowly faced and wrinkly, essentially a bumbling fool, rather than someone who makes everything up

DH had great fun when he found that out a couple of years ago.

I am the Lord of the Dance Settee

So, we failed to unify quantum physics and gravitation after all....

Dh is shaking his head at me for Arkansas/arkansaw