The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

[YouBetterWerk]

Here are just a few of the personal little in jokes and rituals we have, but the more I think about it the less I think other couples have them!

1. Puffins. Obsessed with them. Don't know where it came from, but we have notepads, cards, nicknames, all surrounding these bloody Puffins.
   
2. 'Sunday Morning Face' - The blank excited stare, pushed right up against my face every Sunday morning.
   
3. 'Bobble Hat Song' - Every time we see someone with a bobble hat on, we sing a song. I would post the lyrics but it is copyright.
   
4. 'Stair Necessities' - Here we have a song we sing to the tune of 'Bare Necessities' every time I go up the stairs to bed. He will also change the lyrics to reflect what we've done that day, giving it that lovely personal touch.
   
   This is just a small example, there are dozens more. We are both grown adults.
   
   I asked my hairdresser about hers the other day and she looked at me like I was crazy and said 'Sometimes I guess we say goodbye in a funny way'
   
   Please reassure me it's not just us!

[HellKitty]

We do the 'Boop'!!!
But we call it 'fingerbums' and has to be done surreptitiously when the other one is bent over a supermarket chest freezer or something. The other shouts FINGERBUMS and runs off.

[ScarlettDarling]

We have 'dance offs' and rap to each other.

We have alter egos called Jan and Ken who refer to each other in a broad Yorkshire accent as 'my 'usband' and 'our doris'

We have lots of complicated handshakes.

When having a cuddle we try to poke each other's belly buttons. We also run our hands under the cold tap til they're freezing before then going in for a cuddle and sticking aforementioned freezing hands up the others top.

[GoadyFuckAaargh]

I am also only allowed to bite dp on a monday

[MargolottaOfUberwold]

you lot are weird, DH and I only do normal things..

..like solving arguments by who can make the best impression of a silverbck gorilla

..making up theme tunes for everything, and singing them (with actions) whenever that thing is mentioned

..inventing new tv shows based entirely on puns of the titles of existing tv shows

see very normal behaviour

[GraysAnalogy]

When Red Dwarf is coming on we hum and flap our feet together in time to the music and if one of us fucks up they're in the Books

We have words and phrases we say. like 'shower' for some reason has turned to 'I'm getting in the shower shower'.

God there's loads but I can'r even remember any now because they've just become bog standard

[GraysAnalogy]

He also tells me stories about two characters called Farty Cunt and Trumpy Minge and their adventures.

[PennyPinkleton]

These are just hilarious! DH and I have loads of stupid stuff

Emily we also play "yellow car"

YY to competitive pinch/punch

We sing silly songs about the dog to the tune of The Adams Family "he's smelly and he's stinky, he's got a little winkie...." etc etc

We hide from each other and jump out to scare the bejesus out of each other

We say Harry Potter spells to each other to get the other one to do what we want "Accio Tea" for putting the kettle on!

When I've got the hump, DH has a smile in his pocket for me I'm usually pissing myself laughing before he pops it on my face (that sounds SO wrong!)

[GraysAnalogy]

Oh and everyday he says he's got me a present and I have to close my eyes and hold my hand open... whilst he deposits his belly button fluff into it.

[Purplehonesty]

If someone says the word phenomenon or a similar word we both go "doo doo do do do do menemener"
And we once spent a whole weekend coming up with alternative names for the hungry horse - starving sloth, ravenous rabbit...
We tell each other fake stories about things going up in flames so we can sing the line woaaah my x is on fire..
I guess you have to be there!

[butterfly2015]

When law and order starts we do the Bing Bing noise at the beginning and then laugh hysterically.

It's also a contest to who can say they've seen an episode of ncis first. Hence, it's barely started with the opening credits and we both shout "seen it!". Then have to admit that we haven't.

[patienceisvirtuous]

Lolling at these :o

We have loads.

We say 'curd?' meaning give me a cuddle or we both say it while we cuddle

I take off Kathy Bates in Misery and say to DP 'Oh Paul' (he's not called Paul) then he says 'I do love you' in American accents

I will also hear DP say 'scare tactics initiated' (from another room in the house to the one I'm in) and know he is planning to jump out on me imminently.

[Plomino]

Moving furniture ! Every time we have to move something heavy that needs both of us , I just can't do it with a straight face . He looks me in the eye across the sofa or whatever , and starts this sideways crablike shuffle manoeuvre and that's it , I'm off into the hysterical giggles . Stems from when we had to move our old sofa out of the patio doors because it was too big to get out of the front door , and it needed to be on the lawn because the council were due to collect it that day . Except it then got hopelessly stuck halfway along the side entrance and despite us shuffling it every which way like it was an iq test , we ended up quite hysterical with laughter and had to take a chainsaw to it .

[feelpants]

Love this.... got loads...NCd as probs outing self..
We ask "what's the ENGLISH time" and "how many ENGLISH pounds do you have"
We call dressing gowns "wardrobes"
When we pause the tv we put do a sort of high five but just press our hands (paws) together, "press paws/pause" geddit?! :)
If I'm on the loo and were chatting but dh notices I'm doing a poo, dh leaves the bathroom and sits on the top step of the stairs to "save the marriage"....

[feelpants]

ahhh dh gives me his belly button fluff as a present too!

[SerJorahsSecondChoice]

God, we have loads. The game we place the most is 'Crap celebrity lookalikes' (spotting the worst celeb lookalikes possible) and 'Celeb bastard offspring' (ie 'he looks like the bastard offspring of Alan Carr and Khal Drogo').

[Sossidge]

My husband makes up songs to sing to the dog when the opening credits of a TV show come on. They're usually fast paced songs, so it gets tense.

Sometimes I put knickers or household objects round the dog's belly or neck and send her in to show daddy.

I wake him up sometimes by putting dog treats on his neck/shoulders/chest, and letting the dog into the room.

He makes dinner every night, when I say thank you, he goes 'stuff it up your arse'.

If we see a weird person walking in the street he'll go 'there's your boyfriend'.

If I ask him to look something up online, he'll google images search Lindsey Dawn McKenzie and show me the results.

[YouBetterWerk]

I'm nearly dying at some of these. Starting this thread is the best decision I've ever made, including starting Stair Necessities.

[GoadyFuckAaargh]

Plomino, I had to laugh at yours. I was imagining one of you shouting 'PIVOT' a la Ross in Friends

[iklboo]

We're really good at saying the exact thing at the same time. So if someone at a till says 'that's £8.75 altogether' we both say 'that's £8.75' (think Airplane).

Also drives DS mad if asks a question and we give him exactly the same answer at exactly the same time.

[SerJorahsSecondChoice]

Oh, and every bloke over 60 with grey hair and a tash is my dad. Doesn't have to be the same race as my actual dad.

Also we have an ongoing joke that dh is my bitch. I insist he is. He maintains he isn't. My life's purpose is to get him to concede that he is, in fact, my bitch by trying to catch him out at inappropriate times. That obe's been going on since we first started dating actually.

[emwithme]

We currently live in a flat with an intercom. If we use it (rather than using our keys/fobs when we've got hands full or whatever) we just make a pirate noise. (Obviously this started when one or other of us me said "It's mee" a bit drunkenly and it sounded like "Smee", so pirates).

[stevienickstophat]

DP can be a little slapdash when it comes to cleaning the kitchen. Now I just have to stand with one eyebrow raised and he dramatically flounces round going "Have I FINISHED??". Usually there's nothing wrong, I just like making him flounce.

He'll flash me when I'm on the phone to my mother. I flash him when he's in the garden.

We'll leap out on each other when we come out of the loo.

We have pandapants week (my period). I have a selection of large pants for bed and DP looks forward to seeing which ones I'm going to wear each night. His favourites feature pandas. Hence the name. Cringe.

We do silly voices for our dogs. One is a broad Yorkshireman, the other one just sounds thick and enthusiastic. They have lots of conversations.

We sing along loudly to the theme tune to the One Show. "OOOOONNNE, OOOOONE," etc.

We'll have a cuddle in the kitchen and I'll refuse to let go, which results in me being dragged around the kitchen while he makes breakfast, tidies up, etc etc. I keep it going as long as I can, doing a kind of Monkees walk.

I'm nearly forty one and he's fifty six

[Oldraver]

We dont play 'Yellow Car' as we have one ourself, but play Puma, Puma.... everytime we see a Puma the first one to see it shouts Puma, Puma Puma..DS gets quite cross if we beat him to it...

We also are known as The Bears.... it has got us some looks as we forget we are saying 'Bear'

[ThatsNotEvenAWord]

I love this thread so much

[SneakretSanta]

We have many, but I think the worst ones are:

if the words 'more' and 'face' appear in the same sentence the other person asks 'more face?', at which point the first person must agree 'more face' and then the second person leaps on them frantically rubbing their faces together and shouting 'moreface moreface' until the original speaker begs for mercy.

We call our iPad an 'isenpad'. The hobbits are going to Isengard' became 'we are buying an Isenpad' and it has stuck. Consequently many other things have acquired an 'enpad' suffix: the doggenpad, the kettlepad.. and DS is the Robbenpad.

If things have somehow gone wrong, in a 'shit we can't get takeaway - the curry house isn't open yet' type way, we throw our arms to the heavens, fall to the ground and yell 'iiikaaaraaaaaaa!!!' despairingly. Which is from a particularly bad episode of Babylon 5.

We also do the 'you know nothing, Jon Snow' thing.

And we do scissor paper rock for who has to change DS's nappy.

I'm not sure why we were ever allowed to reproduce...