The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

[YouBetterWerk]

Here are just a few of the personal little in jokes and rituals we have, but the more I think about it the less I think other couples have them!

1. Puffins. Obsessed with them. Don't know where it came from, but we have notepads, cards, nicknames, all surrounding these bloody Puffins.
   
2. 'Sunday Morning Face' - The blank excited stare, pushed right up against my face every Sunday morning.
   
3. 'Bobble Hat Song' - Every time we see someone with a bobble hat on, we sing a song. I would post the lyrics but it is copyright.
   
4. 'Stair Necessities' - Here we have a song we sing to the tune of 'Bare Necessities' every time I go up the stairs to bed. He will also change the lyrics to reflect what we've done that day, giving it that lovely personal touch.
   
   This is just a small example, there are dozens more. We are both grown adults.
   
   I asked my hairdresser about hers the other day and she looked at me like I was crazy and said 'Sometimes I guess we say goodbye in a funny way'
   
   Please reassure me it's not just us!

[Sgtmajormummy]

Forgot to say "using the tube as a megaphone". Sure that makes it a lot clearer...

[musicposy]

If we are out driving and an old person/ mobility scooter/ person with 6 dogs crosses the road, DH and I will try to be the first to shout "50 points!" The easier the thing is to hit, the more points you shout out, so a young cyclist might only get 10. The DDs are shocked by this but we think it stems from our 1980s teen years where all video games involved knocking into things for points.

Any possible inneuendo in conversations we try to be the first to spot. The first person to spot it has to say "said the actress to the bishop". Bonus points if our teen DDs say "Ugh, gross!"

We also have bottom pinching contests. If one walks up the stairs in front of the other we pretend not be noncholent and not trying to avoid being pinched. The one behind has to try and pinch the bottom of the one in front but without running to reach them. At home this frequently descends into fights with washing up water or wet sponges. If we are in public, the bottom pinching has to be surreptitious and unnoticed by all but the DP .

We've been married 21 years and I swear we get more infantile the older we get. I cannot imagine what we will be like in another 20 years!

[YouBetterWerk]

If my thread goes in Classics I will literally have achieved everything I've ever wanted in life.

We've remembered loads more.
If something is just out of reach, like the TV remote, we will say 'Whoevers closest to it in 5 seconds,5,4,3,2,1' and run/jump/as far away as possible, even running outside.
We have a Chewbacca that we create talk tales of him driving around on this Vespa ornament and my DP will put him up in random high places because quote 'He's arboreal'
I get a really cold nose and he'll wrap his mouth around it and breath on it to warm it up
We do a car game where one of us starts up a made up song and the other has to keep up as if they know it. Scoring is split into three categories of Diction, Speed and Emotional Dedication.

[famalam]

Sometimes when passing each other we say "you facking cant " in an aggressive, strong cockney way a la Danny Dyer

Alan Partridge quotes are a huge part of our life too

Eg anytime we hear a mention of Stoke: "Lynn, some of these people have come from Stoke" etc

[iklboo]

Didn't Death Race 2000 (old video nasty) have a race where drivers got point for running over various people - old people, teenagers, prams etc?

DH & I also sing along to songs & theme tunes using only 'bingle beep' as the words. It's brilliant. We should go on Britain's Got Talent

[operaha]

Ahhh I'm away from my dp for a few days and I miss him.
Alan Partridge yes of course.
"Badges? badges? we don't need no stinking badges."
ANYthing he can make a quote/lyric he's soooo much better at that than I am

[exWifebeginsat40]

oh. i just remembered. a friend made me a sock monkey and it's a bit scary looking. so now the Haunted Monkey is randomly hidden in order to terrify the other.

and yes, the cats. his cat (for some reason known to me as the Ginger Prince) is secretly a KGB agent. Agent Pinotski (his name is Peanut) records our conversations and sends them along the Cat Underground Railroad to headquarters. my cat is nominally involved as either a courier or a grass - we're not sure yet.

i shared on a thread like this a while ago about saying awful things to each other in a broad West Country accent to prove that nothing said in a comedy Zomerzet accent can be frightening. i do worry about us sometimes.

oh, and a hearty shout of 'NOT THAT DRAWER, LYNN!' always goes down well when opening kitchen cupboards to look for snacks.

[Gralick]

I do this with MYSELF And the cat, obvs. Loads of them stem from childhood, from XH1 who spoke almost entirely in catchphrases, and then from various places I've worked. My store of daftness is ever fuller. If I were stupid enough to start another relationship, I'd need an extremely patient partner!

Including, but by no means limited to: "Don't be RIDICLUBUS!" "Morre cheeeese, Louiiiiise?" even though I don't eat cheese and telling myself "Oh, I am silly! Watam-A-laike? A seelee beelee!" The cat gets that one, too.

Whenever I hear the name Brian or Robson, I have to exclaim "Bryan Robson!" in a very loud Geordie accent. The ridiclubus baloney goes on and on ...

When preparing or eating fish - or giving some to the cat - this song is compulsory:

My neighbours must be quite worried.

[stayanotherday]

Weelay! Please put it in classics.

[Gralick]

If anybody says they couldn't eat another thing, the urge to press them to take a is overwhelming.

[famalam]

Re Alan Partridge again - EVERY TIME Dh gets us both a choc mousse from the fridge he says "two chocolate mousses!" broad Geordie style a la Michael from the first series

You know that bit right at the end of The Simpsons where the woman goes "ssh" and there's a little jingle, every.single.time without fail Dh sings along: "Rubber dinghy horsey dongy doo" mainly for the benefit of our dd but it's become normal now so she doesn't laugh anymore - we watch The Simpsons a lot in this house. He physically can't stop himself from doing it now, and in different word variations

[CharleytheFrenchPoodle]

This is hilarious! And reassuring to know other people are just as weird
We do the fingerbum thing, especially if one of us is following the other upstairs. We also do the hug as someone mentioned up thread- hug the other person and don't let go, even if that involves following them from room to room. Actually, part of that ritual also involves kissing the other person on the cheek and saying 'I'm a growth, you can't get rid of me now' and seeing how long you can keep your face pressed up against the other ones face
We have two cats that talk- one's a sweary Cockney and the other a gentle Scottish accent. We use them to insult each other.
We also have pretend arguments in public, usually ending with one of us saying loudly 'you're always lying to me, you say you love me and you don't' before flouncing off.
I love the idea of having alter egos and made up stories when people ask how you met- must try that

[meggymegmegs]

We have loads too:

• we have a race to see who can fasten the buttons on the duvet cover quickest when we're changing the bed, no words are exchanged, we just try speed up and up and whoever wins rolls eyes and complains about the other one's laziness.
  
• we used to say 'thank you tonight' instead of just thanks, which is what I misheard Mario saying when you successfully complete a level on the mario game (it's actually 'thank you so nice' or something?!). This has been going on for YEARS and is now shortened to 'tonight'.
  
• I try and suck the moles on his neck which we call 'rice crispies'
  
• we have a huge key ring that has a very unflattering photo of my now beautiful niece when she was a baby which we sneak into each other's pockets/laptop bags/suitcases etc etc to be hopefully found at in opportune moments in front of work colleagues.
  

There are loads more but we already sound like oddballs!

[Nagasaki]

DH and I are laughing at all these, glad we aren't the only weirdos!

We sing the words en.bab.la/dictionary/german-english/sprechen-sie-deutschEmmer

[PrincessUnicorn]

This is such a cool thread!

We have a few things :)

• when we want to go home from somewhere, we say a spell from an MMO we used to play and do the arm movements.
  
• DP makes up stories for a bear he bought me, his name is bear bear and lives in a bear world with Bad robot, the gruffle, a stuffed goat called NoobGoat and a highland cow called MooMoo.
  
• Continuing the bear theme, when ever we say the world bear we have to make a bear sign at our mouth
  
• Whatever we watch we pick something out that we notice all the time, for example in 24 we both shout DAMMIT like Jack Bauer, or dry like Gordon Ramsay in hells kitchen.
  
• we sign the game of thrones theme "Game of, game of throooones, game of thrones" to the tune
  
• we rock, paper, scissor most things.
  
• we try as many ways as we can to ask the other for a tea, like saying "what's those things you put golf balls on? If the other says "a tee?" The person who asks goes "aww yes please!"
  
• We also do the "your mum" or "so does your mum" thing.
  
• Our relationship is one huge innuendo, in your endo!

[PrincessUnicorn]

*sing the game of throne theme

[Jellytummys123]

Every time we go food shopping dp goes up the cat food isle saying 'oh we're out of cat food again'

We have never had a cat - he has done it every shop since we've lived together

[Nagasaki]

Jesus, don't know what happened there. Damn app

As I was saying, we sing the words "sprechen sie Deutsch" to the theme of emmerdale.
We say random words randomly and try to get them stuck in each other heads. These are brain worms. Current one: hoobastank.
YY to fingerbum, using film/TV quotes in daily activities, and waving various body parts at each other at inappropriate moments (usually when MIL phones)

[butterfly2015]

Yellow car - cheese on wheels.

And recently dp has been mentioning you can see a certain castle from various places we've been so now I say "can you see xx castle from here?"

We were at a park with dd 2 the other day and an older couple sat on the bench next to us and one of them said "you can see xx castle from here" I nearly imploded with laughter. Fortunately I was lying on the bench with my head on his lap so he shoved his hand over my mouth and muttered "stop it" through his mirth.

[HeyheyheyGoodbye]

I'm croling at these. I've shaken the bed giggling and woken DH up

We do loads...we sing everything to the tune of Music Man, Adventure Time, Robin Hood Robin Hood, I'm a Lumberjack, or Puff the Magic Dragon.

We talk through the cats ALL the time. They also sing the above songs.

We press little 'tunes' or patterns into each other and the other person has to do it back.

I call him my Band and he calls me his Wiff.

If I see DH's bits I twirl my imaginary moustache and go 'Bonjour le peen' and if he sees mine he shouts 'GUTENTAG DER VAG' and salutes.

[famalam]

heyheyhey I am howling at your last paragraph there

[HellKitty]

Heyheyhey, I'm V jealous of your mating ritual. I get his impression of the little old cross eyed man who chatted me up at work.

[Sexyhouseslippers]

DH and i have quiet a few. Whenever one of us needs the toilet we over cut each other and stay on the loo for as long as possible. We pretended to be apes and run up the stairs on all fours.

[whatkatiedidnext31]

So funny reading that...laughed so much

[operaha]

using imdb to solve every argument ever.
playing "guess how old they are" about random celebrities when drinking, and using the above to score.