WWYD? I am NOT a stalker. I am just waiting for my train!

[OooohHorlicks]

So for three days a week I take a train to work. I stand on the platform and wait for the train and don’t really register anything or anyone. I vaguely stand behind a couple that also wait for the train because they stand in the place where the door stops, and it is just in my nature to form a queue.

Anyway this week I was gazing into space and noticed that the woman in front of me kept gesturing towards me. So I tuned in. “I just hate it”, she says to the man. “She always stands behind us.” "Arse, she’s got a point", I think. And I can see how it must be totally disconcerting, but I never really saw it as standing behind them, just as standing where the doors stop, and they usually get to the platform first.

So the following day I resolved to stand to the side of them rather than behind and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she had marched further down the platform with the man. Fair enough, I think. Problem solved – you don’t like it, then move. Wait for the train. I turn my head to see it as it pulls in and she is looking at me laughing, and then giving the man a triumphant laugh.

Now I am slightly torn. On the one hand I am thinking she needs to get a life / grip / perspective, is obviously very petty, and for three or four minutes in a morning I am quite happy to ignore the ridiculous behaviour and stand where I please. On the other hand I can actually see why it would be disconcerting to have a random standing behind you every day and I feel slightly aggrieved at being held out to be a stalker when I am barely able to function and just unthinkingly doing what I always do.

So what do I do? It’s a small station and a short train, only 4 carriages. I could wait further along to get on one of the other carriages but they are either ones with a toilet on (grim) or high risk in terms of getting / not getting a seat. But I can’t really be doing with this every morning. I just want a quiet life. Hopefully they will just continue to wait further down the platform but if they get there before me I suspect they will make a point of waiting in their usual space.

So what would you do? Apart from tell me to worry about something worth worrying about?

[Cocolepew]

This thread has made me laugh so much, and considering I have pleurisy isn't good, so fuck you all .

[SavoyCabbage]

I would get a small moustache and wear it but continue to stand in exactly the same place.

Some people love drama and they have to create it. Don't let her drag you in. Perfect looking through her if necessary.

[Cocolepew]

I would stand really close behind her and sniff her hair.

[ChameleonCircuit]

I'm just dying for it to be Horlicks' next commuting day so we can see if she's tried some of these solutions.

[RestingActress]

OMG you should do all these suggestions and report back when you get bail

[GlitzAndGiggles]

Belch really loudly and say "good morning my train friends". She'll find her own sodding spot

[BigW]

at smelling her hair. You should definitely do this.

[RestingActress]

Push past her to get on the train and sit next to the man

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Make a note of what she is wearing and then the next day turn up in an outfit identical to the one she wore the day before.

[OvO]

I'd stand in FRONT of them from now on.

[Roussette]

Who gets there first? If it's them, I would make sure I was there first and let them stand behind you, then they're the stalkers. Simples!

I will say... I think you should be very careful of actually doing anything/challenging them/saying anything to them. People can be very odd and you don't want to land yourself with more of a problem than you have.

Just totally ignore this, but do get there before them, then you can't actually see their reaction.

[longtallsally2]

Thank you I've just cried reading these.

I would vote for dark glasses and a newspaper with holes cut in the right place, so that you can hold it up and watch them.

If they challenge you, you do have to have a line ready however. You could have your phone in your pocket with this thread open! "I am so sorry to have upset you. I am waiting for a train, not stalking you. However, Britain's most popular internet forum is dying to hear about this - anything you want to say to them??"

[OooohHorlicks]

Ok so my next train day is Wednesday. I'm going to be quite dull I'm afraid (you rotten lot!) so I think I will wait at the same place as usual but if they are already there I will wait to the side of them.

When she first expressed her displeasure at my location she started whispering to her companion and smirking.

I want to tell her to shove it but I think I will just ignore ignore ignore and not move.

She is quite hair flicky and loud though so it's entirely possible that she will try to make a point loudly to her companion. If she does I think I will call her on it. Now what to say...?

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I think you're probably reading too much into the laughing triumphantly thing tbh. She probably wasn't laughing at you/about you.

[TheDoctorSandshoesAndGrandad]

Hahaha, I was just about to post the same as Chaz!

You could also go for a matching hair colour/style etc to really freak her out.

[Cocolepew]

Stand beside and hold her hand. if you smile she surely wouldn't mind.

[OooohHorlicks]

I might be brave enough to turn up wearing shades. But I'll probably laugh. Which will obviously make the whole situation much worse.

[Banffy]

I'd stand really close, tap her on the shoulder and either turn around to pretend it was someone else, stare into space or start whistling whilst rocking on your feet.

[hackmum]

Oh god, this is hilarious. OP, she is paranoid, and it's really nothing to do with you. A while back, I was standing behind a woman at the supermarket checkout - like you, I was vaguely staring into space, minding my own business - and she got really angry with me because apparently I was trying to watch her enter her PIN.

The thing about paranoia is that it results from the comforting delusion that other people are interested in us. (I just read this in a book by a psychoanalyst, so it must be true.) Imagine how disappointing it would be for this woman to realise that before she started kicking off you'd barely noticed her existence.

[Cocolepew]

Sneeze in her flicky hair and then use it to blow your nose.

[MuddlingMackem]

This must be yet another north/south thing, but no, YANBU to stand at your spot every day. If they have a problem with that then let them, but don't let it become your problem.

This dilemma amuses me (sorry OP!) because back when DH and I used to commute by bus, with first DS and then also DD, we used to wait at the bus stop at the same time as three other people from our area. We didn't stand in silence, we chatted to each other. We no longer commute together, but we still see them round - one lives in our street - and we still chat with them.

[DidoTheDodo]

Engage her in conversation. She will either become your new best friend, or move right along the platform for ever.

[GlitzAndGiggles]

Say "oh my god Danny Devito I love your work!" like the boy in mean girls says

Or stand there shuffling around with a really sad look on your face and say "oh no not again...excuse me have you got a tissue?"

[Catsmamma]

just as the doors open you could push past her choking and coughing...and make big hand flappy gestures.

"oooh there was no need for THAT, what have you been eating??"



As students we'd get the tube at elephant and castle and on occasion there'd be a chap who would always stand in the exact same spot, so of course we would all line up if we got there first... he would be hopping mad!! We'd pretend not to notice, but we did give it up because he did begin to look like he might give us a shove under the train to put an end to our nonsense.

[DidoTheDodo]

PS I'be made several friends on my daily commute, both at then station and on the train. And I'm in the south