You daft apeth

[Kasterborous]

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

[bunchoffives]

Banono What about 'there'll be trouble with a capital T'?

or You'll be laughing on the other side of your face.

[YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan]

We also have 'better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick'

If you're walking somewhere you're going on " shanks' pony"

[FunnysInLaJardin]

SDTG that sounds more like it wrt the Wreakin

[MummyPig24]

If my brother and I were fighting and moaned to my mum she used to say "it was six of one and half a dozen of the other." It took me years to understand it.

She also used to say, if we coughed, "choke up chicken."

If I was being grumpy when I was little my grandma would call me a "Pogly pussage", or say I was "being pogly". Apparently I made it up but I don't remember. I now use that phrase with my children. That will totally out me To any family on here.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

also 'better than a slap round the face with a cold fish'

[MummyPig24]

My mum also used to say "the wind'll change" if we made a sulky face and apparently we woul be stuck like that.

[choccyp1g]

My favourite is "rushing around like a blue-arsed-fly" generally shortedened to Baf around children.

And "better than a poke with a sharp stick up your left nostril"

[MummyPig24]

If my dad burped or farted he would say "ooh, more tea vicar?" What does that mean?!

[Audilover]

My mum used to say pin back your lug holes to us when she wanted to tell us something.

[Audilover]

My dad says more tea vicar when he burps or farts as well.

[DameEdnasBridesmaid]

Fur coat and no knickers

[sazzle82]

Saying nai at the end of the sentence used to be common where I live. It doesn't mean anything and is the equivalent of 'init', as in 'it was a good night last night, nai?'

Also, something which I think is very regional (judging by the reaction of people not from here) is 'I've seen my bum/arse'. It's means you are pissed off with something or or someone. As children we used the shortened version of 'spied yours!' which we would say to someone who had 'seen their bum'.

Similar to meither, my mum used to complain if we moidered her.

[TheLateKateSMumsnet]

My DM and Grandma always say they're "nithered" when they're cold - is that a general thing?

Got called a daft apeth, and a daft caper

[WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes]

My grandad used to call daft ha'porth when we were little, was years before I knew what it meant.

Another one that seems a bit retro now is berk, as in "he's a right berk" - that was widely used when I was growing up but seem to have largely disappeared.

Oh and "I'll give him a punch up the bracket".

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

When I was 10, we moved from a suburb in the West Midlands out into rural Shropshire - and I had to learn a whole lot of new phrases. My favourite was 'Shut your cake-'ole' for 'shut up'. Another one was 'you munna say dunna, 'cos it inna right' - translation, you mustn't say don't because it isn't right!

[TigOldBitties]

I use so many of these I guess most come form my parents.

I am always telling the kids/pets to Pack it in or there'll be big trouble.
My DM always calls people ratbags.
Guts for Garters.
Dozy Hap'th
Dragged through a hedge backwards
Knock you into the middle of next week
Having a jaw
Thick as two short planks
I'll give you something to cry about

There are more, but I can't think as I never realised these were so old fashioned. I will have to be on the look out. By grandad is always saying things which make the DC confused.

[Kikithecat]

Loads of these were part of mu growing up.

Also used to hear a lot on Corrie "they're livin' over t'brush" or "she were born on t'wrong side o't'blanket!"

[owlbegoing]

Blimey O'Riley as an exclamation of shock or exasperation. Wonder where that came from?
Pot calling kettle black Still use from time to time.
I use born in a barn all the time
As much use as a chocolate teapot

[Kikithecat]

"Not enough (blue in the sky) to make a Dutchman's trousers.

[TigOldBitties]

Also we've always said "tit in a trance", its my DMs favourite saying.

My nan says "Don't care was made to care"

[KnappShappeyShipwright]

I used to be told I had "more rabbit than Sainsbury's" when I was wittering on. Most surprised to find it was in a Chas & Dave song many years later!
There's also more x "than you can shake a stick at".
It is scary when you hear your own parents.

[Loftyjen]

My dad use to come out with some very random things, think many of them were naval slang. A few of my favourites were:

• "You've got your arse in gear and brain in neutral" (when daydreaming & walking).
  
  
• You lie like a hairy egg
  
  
• to have "a face like 10ft of road up" (looking grumpy/unhappy).
  
  He would also talk of crocodilapigs, and his favourite colour was skyblue pink with purple dots. Sadly, he died 10yrs before the birth of his 1st grandchild (my DD), otherwise she'd be learning all these phrases directly from Dad.
  
  Am teaching her that if her belly button gets unscrewed her bum will fall off though!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

My friend says 'like a tit in a trance' - I had completely forgotten that one - thanks Tig!

[fiftyval]

re 'Mugwump' or 'mugglewump' - my mother used this alot when we were kids.The only other reference I ever saw to it was in Roal Dahl's The Twits and I think Charlie and Choc Factory ( when reading to dd). So looks like JK Rowling may have it from there? But doesn't explain my mother using it as her use pre-dates Roald Dahl's books.

Like you mummypig my mother used to say 'choke up chicken'. She also used 'mithered' alot. She came from Cheshire and would be very snobby about some of my father's Manchester phrases such as 'skriking' for crying and 'kecks' for pants.
There is one phrase of hers which I have never heard anywhere else and she claims was used by her father - ''powfagged'' meaning very tired. Anyone else's family use this one ?

[KnappShappeyShipwright]

Kikithecat - my granny used to make a pair of sailor's trousers out of blue sky! Must be a regional variation.