You daft apeth

[Kasterborous]

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

It's pronounced AayyyyyRab in our family. We use loads of these, I think they must have been absorbed into our vocabulary somehow, as we are neither Northern nor from the West.

Does anyone know where Mugwomp comes from?

'were you born in a barn? ' = shut the door
'put t' wood int' hole' = shut the door

Creating / skryking / blubbing = crying

He skens like a basket of whelks = He's cross eyed
Skennyeyed = cross eyed

He couldn't stop a pig a in an alley - He's bow legged

I remember a conversation with my MIL in the east end of London a few years ago -

Me 'ooh Mary can I have one of these barm cakes please'?
MIL '?'
Me 'these barm cakes on the side'
MIL '?'
Me - thinks of another word....'these flour cakes'
MIL '? there's no cakes in the kitchen'
Me - thinks of another word.... 'these baps'
MIL 'what are you talking about?'
Me - picks pack up and shows her
MIL - 'oh you mean bread rolls'

I tell DS to 'Stop wittering on' when he is muttering or saying the same thing over and over.

Not sure if my dad made it up or it is one of these things noone says any more.

'Fair dos' isn't that old fashioned is it? Say and hear that all the time although I am in a part of Britain that resides 25 years in the past

Anyone else have "headless chicken" moments that were like being a "fart in a colander"??

One of my dads favourites was 'face like a kicked in snap tin'!

Ooh, we use Mugwomp too but no idea where it's from. I am loving all the swings/roundabout variations.

We had mugwumps! WTF is a mugwump.

Wow. US republicans.

I have an uncle who still says 'Na then' instead of hello

DH says there'll be 'big trouble'.

As in, you had better tidy up that playroom or there'll be 'big trouble'.
You better do xyz or there'll be trouble.

WTAF?!? I went from being amused when he said it to wanting to say, what are you on about?
Give them a consequence, what is trouble?

O

Oops.

Our family saying is "better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish".

I know someone who says "standing around like leftover lemons'. No idea where it comes from, but I like it.

She also describes a bad hair day as "hedge-backwards".

I think 'hedge-backwards' is a shortened version of 'looking like you've been pulled through a hedge backwards'.

Dh says "You make a better door than a window" when someone gets between him and the TV. What does that mean? (I know what he means!)

We have wittering on and headless chickens.

Kids also have to tidy up/get to bed "or there'll be trouble", thought that was fairly normal though?

"I have an uncle who still says 'Na then' instead of hello"

I'm in Germany & people here say "Na?" as a greeting!

Im in NI and i say gutties or runners for trainers. I didnt know it was colloquial until i joined MN

My dad has lots of funny sayings.

The oddest one is 'its a kick start for a trotting banty' when referring to a vehicle with a very small engine. Like a small motorbike.

Another on is if someone farts he says "come in dungannon i know your knock"

It means he can't see through you ILove! i.e. if you were like a window then you standing between him and the idiot box like a fart in a trance wouldn't be a problem. As it is you are opaque and therefore, more door-like

A winder = a clout round the head.

Mind you the word clout is a bit old fashioned in itself.

'You dirty article'. That makes me laugh, I say it to dd.

'If he fell off the co-op he'd land in the divi' = he's very lucky

Stardusty my mum used to say shine a light instead of shite and sugar instead of shit. Fiddle me pink was instead of fuck. Flap was instead of flip (for flap's sake )

Also my uncle used to tell his dcs to stop 'gowling' i think it was a mix of gurning and howling.

My friends nan used to exclaim well FUCK ME PINK.

At embarrassing times!

I was going to say Mugwump is from Harry Potter (and it is!)

But google says:

[[http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mugwump

mug·wump (mgwmp)
n.

1. A person who acts independently or remains neutral, especially in politics.
2. often Mugwump A Republican who bolted the party in 1884, refusing to support presidential candidate James G. Blaine.]]

See, we dun lerned sumfin.

These are bringing back lots of memories. I still say some of them to my DC - they are .

If we misbehaved as kids my Cumbrian grandfather used to tell us to stop it "or I'll skift your onions". We had no idea what it meant, and no inclination to find out!