The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

[daughterofafarmer]

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

Rooners, I love you.

I refuse to admit half of the stuff I didn't realise until embarrassingly late.

Batman isn't a superhero

I wasn't pronouncing biopic correctly

Friends from our church were heading from UK to Africa for mission work with a church we are partnered with.

Discussions about the trip were taking place and one person wondered out loud how long it'd take to fly over the Atlantic to get to Africa.... We were flying from London, nowhere near the Atlantic, going the opposite direction!

Also, a male single friend and I were watching TV and an ad for sanitary pads came on. He asked me in all seriousness just how a woman folded them and put them up her vagina. He has 2 sisters and I've no idea how I explained the answer to him without busting out laughing

My DSis once asked me to confirm that a blow job was where the woman farts in a mans mouth. She was about 10 at the time so I assume she heard this gem in the playground. Of course I did in no way confirm that yes indeed that was exactly what a blow job was and let her believe it for years, oh no not me...

Not from a friend but fits this category well.

I was trying to freecycle a piece of furniture. The ad went along the lines of, "Oak veneer wardrobe, Xcm High, Xcm Wide, Xcm Deep."

I had a reply which said, "What colour is it and how big please?"

I would just like to stick up for Rooners. I have pushed a baby out of my vagine but I cannot comfortable use any tampon above regular.

Batman's not a superhero, then?

I want a vaginal gauge now. Surely they must exist.

Showy we are clearly living parallel lives...it took me a LONG time to realise it didn't rhyme with myopic.

"My DB when a teenager came home from schoolbook shopping in town and said "The religion book called 'To Be Decided Later' wasn't in stock anywhere"..... "

Oh, bless!

Boots, no he's not. He's just a rich dude with a fetish for lycra bodysuits and the money for lots of gadgetry. No superpowers, see?

Ah, I see!

Like Syndrome from The Incredibles

Indeed

Great thread :)

Cannot think of anything to add.

You see, biopic really annoys me. You don't say 'I'm reading a really good bi-oh-graphy' do you? So I always got it wrong too. I did hear a Radio 4 presenter say it both ways in the same sentence the other day.

WhisperMen on page one. When I got my BA and my Master of Arts degree, my mothers family whispered to each other 'I did not think she ever was artistic. She never talks about pottery or the like'.

Seriously.

Old school friend during a phone conversation after I had moved from the Midlands (where I met her) to Wales.

Friend: Why are you speaking Welsh?
Me: Er, I'm not
Friend: You are, you sound Welsh
Me: Every word I have spoken has been in English
Friend: Yes I know, but you sound Welsh, you're speaking Welsh
Me: You do know that Welsh is a different language to English. It's not just an accent
Friend: Really? Wow!

I knew a girl at Oxford who thought that the tube went all over the country.

"What colour is a black person's blood? Is it brown?"

"Where does Lebanese food originate, like, what country? I've never heard of a place called Leban"

Batman is just an attention seeker.

I know it's unrelated but I think Megamind is brilliant. Especially the bit where Titan spells out his name and he thinks it is 'tighten'.

Ironman could kick Batman's arse. Fact.

I still want to rhyme it with myopic. In my head I do.

Yeah, I assumed Batman could fly and shit. In my defence, I'd never watched or read any Batman. I just assumed he was like Spiderman. You know, part bat.

Batman is a ruddy great show off.

Iron Man I get. DD adores Iron Man.