Terrible wedding behaviour.

[WayHarshTai]

In light of the recent rash of threads about it, I thought we could have a compilation thread to keep them all in one place.

I'll start with my wedding, and my SIL.

We wanted her DS (who was about two and a half) to be a sort of page boy and wear the same style suit as his dad (best man) and the rest of the 'wedding party' including my DS. SIL said no as he woudn't want to wear a suit. And then promptly went out and bought him, that's right, a suit to wear.

She then asked if we could arrange a vegetarian meal for her despite the fact she is not a vegetarian. Which of course we did, although it smacked of 'making life difficult'. And she then managed to take both veggie meals on the day leaving my actual veggie cousin without a meal (still not sure how this happened).

At the ceremony she brought her DS in eating the World's Biggest Icecream? which he then sat and slurped in his non matching suit all through the vows.

When we got to the venue she moved all the place settings around because she didn't like where she was sitting.

She then got very drunk very quickly, became very loud, heckled the speeches, announced her recent (six months ago) miscarriage to the room and then coralled me for nearly an on the balcony while she cried and told me how awful her life was.

I just found the whole thing quite funny (well, not the crying) and it makes for an interesting story, so if she was trying to ruin things it didn't work.

Anyway, that's my Terrible Wedding Behaviour story, I know you lot have some corkers, so spill.

Very minor ones, A guest at our wedding got very drunk on red wine during the formal sit down meal, leaving her son aged about 4 running around smacking the backsides of all the pretty waitresses, then she fell over and vomited (red wine colour) all over her pale grey suit outside the main entrance in full view of the (sober) evening guests arriving!

Also another guest wore a white dress and hat, the very same that she wore when she got married the previous year, on the photos she looms like a stand in bride.......

None if this matters though and we had a great day.

I actually forgot about my own story! At my wedding one of my male BF's got a little bit ... drunk.

He had a few to 'stiffen his nerves' (he was doing a reading) before the ceremony, then read really badly. Because he hadn't even glanced at the poem beforehand (he was a trained actor, but still).

Then at the meal there was some incident I still don't understand which ended up with DH's then boss wandering around without his trousers.

He was in charge of videoing the speeches and talked over all of them, giving a running commentary about the 'delivery' of each person. (I find this quite funny now, as he's better than the speeches, but still)

When the very expensive band sang 'his' song he jumped up and pushed the singer out of the way to sing. Then forgot the words. When they tried to sing his other 'his' song the singer was having none of it so they had a wrestling match on the stage.

To top it all off, the venue was non-smoking (unheard of then) and he was asked to leave after being caught smoking three times. As he was being ejected he wailed for me 'Wilsooooooooooooon, I can't believe you're standing by and letting this happen' like he was being dragged off to prison or something. Just as the evening guests were arriving.

Twas a great day.

I knew a woman, years ago, who had to be the centre of attention of everything. She usually succeeded, for all the wrong reasons. She was a feisty character had a serious drink problem and given to singing, very badly, at parties etc.

At her brother's wedding, which I attended, there was a professional singer who was a friend of the bride and groom. She was an amazingly talented lady with a great voice.

After the professional singer finished her act, the pissed off her face sister of the groom got up and sang a dreadful, out of tune, wobbly "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". She fluffed half way through and had to start again. The contrast between her and the professional was phenomenal.

DH's best man was living abroad when we got married. He was planning to fly back 8 days before our wedding for the stag do and also to spend some quality time with DH. His wife unfortunately couldn't come because of work and money.

When he moved out to the country he lived in, his visa had been arranged by the school he and his wife worked at. They also arranged his flight back to the UK for our wedding. At no point did anyone actually bother to tell him one of the visa conditions was that he could not travel in or out of the country without his wife (I think because when they first moved out there she was the only one with a job lined up, he got his job after they moved).

He was at the gate, literally just about to get on the plane when he was told he couldn't leave the country. So yeah, that put a bit of a downer on things. I'd been out for the evening, got home at 11 to find DH on the phone on the verge of tears. I thought "that's a bit strange, there's only one person he'd be calling at this time of night and he's supposed to be on a pla...oh..."

At the reception one of my friends kept asking my FIL (who's a pharmacist) if he had any drugs. She also took all the wine off the top table straight after the meal (I had hardly any of it! cheeky mare) and had a go at my Dad for changing his outfit for the evening reception!

My wedding was a bit of a blur, but nothing ridiculous happened, just a couple of small hiccups.

One was that we had planned to serve sushi for part of the canapes, which were picked up from the restaurant that made them about an hour's drive from the venue at midday by DH's cousin, who didn't question the packaging (no ice packs basically). When they were taken into the hotel's kitchen, the chef tested the temperature and declared he couldn't serve them due to food safety regs. So they were binned - about £200 worth of amazing sashimi.

Then DH lost his speech. He thinks of himself as a real raconteur and bless him he isn't really :) . Well, what happened was that I am very nosy and he had password protected a file on our computer where he had drafted what to say. He had then forgotten the password. Confessed this to me the day before, so I laughed and gave him a list of the things you have to say (etiquette-wise I mean, thanking various people), which he bumbled through. He thanked "the florist" who was the long term girlfriend of one of my staff and I was mortified that he didn't use her name.

Our photographer turned out to be rubbish. Lots of pictures were squint, had people half cut out of them, they didn't do the groups that I had asked for, stuck random people into close family groupings. I still (4 years on) haven't had the album printed, but my mum eventually got the photographers to give us the disk of the full set of digital pictures in highest-resolution so we could tweak them ourselves to try to get them right.

I haven't really been to many weddings. I did a reading at a close friend's wedding at a fancy manor house type venue. She told us a long afterwards that they couldn't leave at the end of the night until they had paid for a tab that a guest had run up behind the bar (guest known for big spending and being outrageously raucous and generous). The bar said that he had put behind the bar his credit card for the tab but somehow managed to just leave the reception without it at the end of the night and they had (as standard) then tried to put it through anyway as a card-holder-not-present but it wouldn't go. I thought this was a massive scam - the venue hadn't actually shown them this card or any other evidence that there was a bar bill. So my friends eventually (it had been more than a year) spoke to the guest to ask him - they hadn't fallen out, just seethed about it for all that time - he said he had indeed run a huge tab, but as far as he was concerned had definitely paid it up without any hint of problem. The venue just fancied getting another £400 out of my friends who were naive enough to let them.

At my first wedding my ex got so drunk at his stag do that he threw up all night and I had to sit up with him and nurse him because he couldn't even walk. My ex sil was meant to do my hair but couldn't get it 'right' and left it in a mess so she could get her kids ready. Luckily my mum helped me sort it out.
My ex was so hungover he nearly cancelled the wedding because he couldn't even get out of bed and boy do I wish he had lol my mum was still sore about my dad leaving her and laughed all through the vows and got silly drunk at the rubbish reception which I left at 8 in the evening and went to bed because I was so shattered from staying up all night.
My 2nd wedding was looking like it might go the same way with my family refusing to come if my dad was invited so on valentines day my hubby and I ran away and got married at Gretna green and it was magical! Spent all week in bed after the wedding and everyone thought it was amazing what we did and even threw us a reception when we got home which we thought was lovely considering we had just ran away lol

Accidentally gatecrashed colleagues wedding... 8 of us went, 4 invited to ceremony, dinner & eve do and 4 invited to church & eve do only. As it was in a tiny village in middle of nowehere that took 4 hours each way to get to and we didnt compare invites we all thought we were going to whole thing. 8 hours between ceremony and eve do btw As it was we still had 3 hours to kill in a village that didnt even have a pub - sat around the village green like teenagers!
look on the B&G face when we all walked in for the lunch/dinner bit was priceless but lucikly a few people had cancelled on the day and they squeezed us in... apologised profusely when we discovered weeks later we hadnt been invited to the whole day.oops.

My brother's 2nd wedding was quite funny. We were told family only at the registry office, so my mum, dad, me, dh, my 2 kids and my brother's daughters, arrive and there is no room for us because all their friends had turned up.

Then after the ceremony they're doing family photo's and call up my 3 nieces. But the eldest one doesn't move. So her dad shouts on her to come up. The whisperings of their friends were hilarious. One asked me who she was. Dh nearly walloped me for saying "That's his eldest daughter, we don't remember who her mother is!" Meanwhile my eldest niece's boyfriend who'd come along too was wetting himself laughing as my niece had warned him about Auntie Groovee.

Get to the reception which was in a "business centre" The bridal party, nieces included this time, have gone for photo's. They come back and my youngest 2 nieces have fallen out this time and one of their stepmother's family tries to cause more conflict with them by comforting one of them while being wide to the younger one. The younger one comes over to me and tells me that's the family member who regularly ridicules her when they all have to meet up. So me and eldest niece decide to save other niece and tell "family member" that she needs to stop picking on 9 year olds! She wasn't amused and stayed away after that.

Then the entertainment in Karaoke for the night . This pretty girl gets up and hogs the mic, but she can't sing. Everyone who knows her keeps cheering and egging her on. Except my eldest niece makes a comment and that triggers us all off again on fits of laughter.

My brother starts yelling at us all for being rude, just as our oldest sister and family walk in. They end up having a screaming match and we all leave. I end up with my nieces in my house for the night as they have refused to go to the "babysitters" their dad organised.

Was certainly a wedding to remember.

Oh and the buffet was chocolate fingers and cheese puffs. We stopped off at the chippy on the way home.

I had a thread a while ago about my crazy mil trying to wear a wedding dress to my wedding. ( which is in 7ish months time) shes utter bonkers and has made a whoke wedding book about how are wedding should be. Booked appointments for venue viewings picked out dresses suitable for my mum to wear etc etc. Anyway I have one f4om a wedding a few years ago...

Went to xp's cousins wedsing about 500 miles away. Never met them before and were to stay with the bride and groom the night before the wedding. Xp's younder sister and I shared a bed in the living room as we were not allowed to share a room due to being unmarried.

Anyeay, both of us asleep downstairs, middle of the night I wake up to xps sister shaking with uncontrolabke laughter/ half crying. I turned around to see the groom passed out on the sofa, stark bollock naked and xp spooning him wearing my dress for the next day.
Apparantley they had waaay too much to drink and this was the result. The grooms jehovas witness father and mother decide to come xownstairs at this moment ( we were laughing pretty loud by this point) and he goes nuts. Cue everyone waking up shouting ending up in 12 crazed relatives in the living room arguing.

The wedding went ahead and bride saw the funny side. But groom is still not on best terms with parents 6 years later.

Went with a friend to his mother's wedding. Because it would be busy at the house we stayed in the hotel where they were having the reception but were at the house the rest of the time.

The night before the hotel phoned the bride and told her they had double booked. They did offer her another room and she had no option really but to accept.

Got to the reception after the wedding and the mulled wine that was supposed to greet guests wasn't there, bride was about to lose it (was late december).

I went in to bolshy mode and went to the bar to ask for the manager. While I was there someone ordered a drink and said to put it on the tab 'of the wedding'. I asked him which wedding, he said his friend's I asked the name of his friend and as he didn't know the name of bride or groom told the waiting staff not to put it on the wedding tab - they ignored me.

By this time the manager had turned up and I have no recollection of what I said, other than saying that they were ruining the bride's day. Apparently people appeared from nowhere with champagne and the room was miraculously ready.

But the cake was served before the sandwiches (supposed to be high tea) and the other end of the room was a works Xmas party.

The evening do was at the bride and grooms house so we went there and came back to sleep. The room had not been cleaned.

In the morning we were checking out and there was a meal charged to our room. No we didn't eat in the hotel, no we didn't eat the first night, no I know we did not eat here, we were at the wedding evening do eating there, no we are not paying the bill for a meal we did not have, and if we had eaten in the restaurant I would have ordered a better wine.

At my DBs wedding, on the way from the registry office, the extremely racist fOB shared a taxi to reception with the mixed race friend of bride who was a prof camera man who had kindly agreed to do the video. Bless him for not decking FOB for his racist rant all the way to venue.

During the speeches FOB proceeded to tell assembled guests how useless he thought DB was.

Then later during the evening party, there had been a bit of a family issue, and me and DB had a quick confab in the girls toilets (long, complicated story) we had gone into a cubicle and came out to find bride's very very pissed best mate glaring at us.

Brides very very pissed BM then created a massive drama crying and hugging bride as she shrieked in front of all the other guests her her new husband had been shagging someone in the toilet

New SIL was very calm and pointed out that I was new husband's sister...didn't wash! she kept on and on and on...and still sends me daggers if we happen to meet at parties...weirdo!

DH and me went to a wedding last year that was so weird it was funny.... Invitation arrived from lovely couple on DHs side of family (and they are a lovely couple !!) in the form of a jigsaw you had to put together (everyone knew what it was anyway........ But not the end of the trying too hard unfortunately !) You also had to bring along a piece of jigsaw to the occasion, each numbered, loads of people forgot and the replacement/back up pieces were not the same so it didn't work and we still don't know what the jigsaw was meant to be. The reception was on a petting farm, we were squeezed into a marquee but we had to go into the cow shed with livestock (cows, goats and sheep) and shit (hopefully just cows, goats and sheep shit) for photos, the children were made to eat in the cow shed, it was cold and lashing with rain. We didn't eat a main course until 8.30 at night despite it being a church wedding at 1pm, it's the only wedding that we have ever made our excuses and ran off (across a wet field) back to our hotel by 930pm.

Seeing everyone in their glad rags forcing a smile surrounded by cattle and shit will stay with me for a long time.

ooh, forgot some baddish behaviour of my own.

At Dsis' wedding, couple buggered off at 8 in the evening to leave all guests staying at the venue with nowt to do (we were due to have a post wedding lunch the next day). So me, two DBs and my two BFs went minibar hopping throughout the guests rooms...along with the fab Irish priest who was a real laugh, big, burly, full of great stories.We ended up in his room.

I woke up the next day thinking someone was poking my eyes out (had left contacts in). I had lost consciousness in the priests room and had crashed out on the bed. Imagine my horror to turn round to see said priest tucked up next to me. They had decided just to leave me where I fell, so to speak! Staggering back to my room I was sharing with one of my two BFs at the wedding I found one grumpy BF and one grumpy brother in my bed. Turned out Other BF was, er, occupied with other Brother in my brother' room room. Luckily the bed was the size of a football pitch so we all just went back to sleep for a few hours.

How we laughed.

Sorry, Father Brendan!

Loool @ priest tucking himself up next to you!

The Shame, The Shame!

to be fair, I was fully clothed, including shoes, on top of the bed clothes...he had somehow managed to squirrel some space under them for himself...

MadameD waking up next the priest is my favourite guest one to date, did you ever tell your DSis?

God, yes, its a family story to this day, 20 years later!

She and BIL thought it was hilarious....

I was at a friend's wedding when a young girl with Down's syndrome took a fancy to me (I'm a bloke).

She grabbed my arm and wanted to dance with me, no problem there, until I realised (at the centre of the dance floor) that there was no one else on the floor and this was meant to be the first dance of the evening lead by the B&G

complex, I think that is rather lovely....well done you for dancing with her, I'm sure the B & G were more moved by your kindness to a a young guest (with Down's Syndrome or not) than worried about being upstaged!

Complex awww!

MadamDefarge Your SIL's BM must think you are utterly depraved - not only shagging your own DB on his wedding day, but also sleeping with a priest.

Anything else you want to get off your conscience?

At mine the BM's speech was a really crude made up story about how now I was getting married all the men who had keys to my house should now return them, followed by about 15 men standing up to hand keys in to the top table - including the (now Ex)H's best mate and brother. I wasn't amused.

During the short gap between main course and dessert, the BM went to the loo, and when he came back told the (now X)MIL that he'd shagged his girlfriend in the loo while he was there. (The girlfriend, incidentally, was wearing the sluttiest dress imaginable with clearly nothing underneath it.) XMIL then announced their little liaison to the room at large, from the top table, in the loudest voice possible. Lovely.

When we turned in for the night, BM, girlfriend and a bunch of other guests were playing pool in the hotel bar. Apparently, BM & girlfriend ended up shagging on the pool table in front of everyone about an hour later. I'm so glad my family had all called it a day when we did, I was mortified.