I was very ill before our wedding. VERY ill. It turned out later that I had salmonella poisoning, but when I went to the doctor before the wedding he told me it was just 'nerves'.
I was so ill that I lost enormous amount of weight in the week before the wedding and so the fitted dress didn't.
We were getting married in York. DH is from Scandinavia, as is Best Man. Best Man did not arrive in the UK until the night before the wedding and did not bring a suit because 'he thought he would buy one in York'. Wedding is at 2.00.
Husband to be and Best Man leave the house at around 11.00 that morning to buy a suit (!) I am busy being ill and my mother is busy trying to sew me into my dress, hold me up, and scream at my husband to be and best man to MOVE!!
Best man buys a suit in Moss Bros. It is now quarter to 2. He changes into the suit at Moss Bros and then the two of them run through the ancient and beautiful city of York to the church on the other side of the city. They get there just as my mother is about to combust. They go into the church.
They get there just in time. Best man then realises that he has left the rings in his other clothes at Moss Bros. Best man volunteers to run all the way back through the city to get the rings. Best man has never been to York before, but husband to be thinks that this is a good idea.
I arrive at church with my father in a car. I am half-fainting by this point. We are told to drive around the church until best man returns.
15 minutes later, best man returns and runs into church. He leaves coat in vestry and goes to the front to meet my groom.
Then he realises that he left the rings in his coat in the vestry.
I walk up the aisle as best man and groom run down it. The only person standing at the altar is my MIL, who has decided that this is where she is going to stand rather than the seat my mother has tried to make her sit in.
We do eventually get married, but I have no memories of the ceremony at all (this may be a reason for annulment if I ever need it). We have a nice lunch reception but I have no memories of the reception at all. We have many many photos taken, but I have no memories of this at all. I do remember forcing myself to stand straight and smile for the camera through the pain.
Husband carries me away to our house. Literally carries me and not in a romantic way. We will be spending the night there before leaving on honeymoon. We are supposed to be going out for romantic meal at our favourite restaurant but I can't do it and just want to sleep. Some how, it is agreed that husband and best man will go out for the meal instead. So they sit at romantic table specially decorated by nice restaurant owner and have special romantic dinner. Restaurant staff are confused, particularly since the best man's name is Bent.
Husband returns. I get iller during the night and the next morning I am taken to hospital in ambulance. MIL appears at this point and says triumphantly as she sees me holding my stomach on a stretcher, 'See, I knew she was pregnant!!' Husband has to ring my parents to break it to them that I had to be hospitalised after our wedding night.
I am in an isolation ward for five days. Husband only allowed to visit in mask and after much use of some sort of smelly antiseptic wash.
I comfort myself that at least I forced myself to smile for the photos. We will have the photos even I can't remember the wedding.
It takes five days before husband breaks it to me that the camera broke and there are no photos.
Once out of the hospital I had to write to all guests with a special letter supplied by the health authority warning them that they had been in contact with me and begging them for any photos they might have taken with me and groom in them.
We had no honeymoon.
MIL moved into the house while I was in hospital and opened the presents.
Do I win?