Terrible wedding behaviour.

[WayHarshTai]

In light of the recent rash of threads about it, I thought we could have a compilation thread to keep them all in one place.

I'll start with my wedding, and my SIL.

We wanted her DS (who was about two and a half) to be a sort of page boy and wear the same style suit as his dad (best man) and the rest of the 'wedding party' including my DS. SIL said no as he woudn't want to wear a suit. And then promptly went out and bought him, that's right, a suit to wear.

She then asked if we could arrange a vegetarian meal for her despite the fact she is not a vegetarian. Which of course we did, although it smacked of 'making life difficult'. And she then managed to take both veggie meals on the day leaving my actual veggie cousin without a meal (still not sure how this happened).

At the ceremony she brought her DS in eating the World's Biggest Icecream? which he then sat and slurped in his non matching suit all through the vows.

When we got to the venue she moved all the place settings around because she didn't like where she was sitting.

She then got very drunk very quickly, became very loud, heckled the speeches, announced her recent (six months ago) miscarriage to the room and then coralled me for nearly an on the balcony while she cried and told me how awful her life was.

I just found the whole thing quite funny (well, not the crying) and it makes for an interesting story, so if she was trying to ruin things it didn't work.

Anyway, that's my Terrible Wedding Behaviour story, I know you lot have some corkers, so spill.

At our wedding, two separate people assumed that SIL was DH's Mum (She is only four years older than him!)

I attended a wedding in a beautiful venue, lovely people, completely ruined by the best man's speech.

He told a joke along the lines of 'The next morning, we met Groom down at the bar with a big bowl of salad. "What's that for?" we asked. "Well, if she eats like a rabbit..."'

The brides grandparents, parents, close friends and family were all there, and had to sit there while that fucking arsehole said that. It wasn't remotely funny - poor girl had to go and do the first dance about 15 minutes after. Utter, utter arsehole.

My bridesmaid fell out with me because she assumed I would give her a plus one (I'm from a massive family and had to cut a lot of them out, still had 130 people) and decided to invite my ex, who she had met once before. She also assumed that because I was putting her up in my house (she was from overseas) I would put him up too She still thinks I was a bridezilla, despite knowing having heard the tales of his taking drugs, disappearing for days and cheating.

One wedding we attended had one of those wishing wells for wedding cards on a table near a door. I saw a guest taking cards out of it, handing them to him wife who opened them, took any bank notes they contained and put it in her handbag. I told the groom who confronted the couple, the police were called and arrested them.
The wishing well was taken away by the police for finger printing!

Best Zombie EVER!!!!

Shameless place marking to come back later.

I went to one where the bride and BM got completely trollied on vodka before the ceremony even started: the bride's father had to prop her up all the way down the aisle. She then threw up all over her shoes at the reception.

We also went to one where two mates of DH's were getting hitched. It started at something like 12.30 and was the most pretentious wedding ever. We'd blithely assumed we'd be eating at about 2, since the reception was at the same venue. But no: everyone was formally photographed as they arrived. Then there was about an hour of hanging about in scenic gardens with booze but no food, not even nibbles. Then there was a longish service. It was by now 3pm and DH and I (who'd spent about 2.5 hours getting there) were famished. But finally, we thought, food!

Oh no. We then had about an HOUR of photos back in the scenic gardens, which mostly involved watching the happy couple being posed around the scenic gardens and more booze - still no food of any sort. Then at about 4 we finally went inside to eat - and that took an age.

We were sitting next to the vicar who had taken the service. 'My God,' he said, 'I thought I'd be home by now, I was supposed to be going to Sainsbury's, my wife is going to kill me, she'll have had to go and take both the kids. And I've never been so hungry in my life. Usually with these things, I can nip off after a couple of hours, I can't believe I'm still here.'

The food was fantastic, but I can't say I exactly savoured it.

Love this thread! The worst thing that happened at ours (that I remember! ) was a married friend of DH's flirting with one of my single friends, walking around holding hands etc, his wife hadn't come as we had a no kids wedding (tight on space and no kids in the family) and he didn't wear a ring so my friend had no idea. I ended up marching up to them as we were about to leave and said he was married, my friend was mortified and dropped his hand like it was a hot coal. He and his wife have since split up and I am not exactly surprised! I mean who tries to commit adultery at a wedding?!

Is there something I'm not getting about @pandarific'S joke because to me it doesn't seem that bad - presumably if she eats like a rabbit she'll shag like one? Hardly that blue for a bm speech?

Our's was pretty incident free - a friend's girlfriend did offer to give him a bj under the table but he refused saying he wasn't going to do that at a friend's wedding! Mil did wear white but I was half expecting that as she did at bil'S.
We went to one more incident packed. They got married abroad. Ceremony was outdoors at noon and we were all boiling as there was a long delay.
BM's ex was there as she was a friend of the bride and determined to flirt with everyone - particularly bm'S brother. She also got changed for the evening into a ridiculously tarty blue dress - think the one Charlotte in Satc wears in Atlantic city, essentially just a blue boob tube.
Bride furious at being upstaged announces "well I've got something blue on" and walks round with her huge dress lifted up to show her knickers with blue bows on.
Within 4 years the bride and best man were shacked up after she left the groom, and they've now got 2 kids.

These are brilliant, mine aren't anywhere near as good.
I was a bm at a wedding once where the bride had insisted on really awful, poorly fitting dresses. One of the other bms was quite flat chested, and the dress didn't look great with a bra so she went without. Cue prett impressive nip slip while walking down the aisle.
My df got married a couple of years ago and was so drunk and nervous during his speech that he forgot to mention the bride, so I'm looking forward to his speech at my wedding

I went to my dreadful uncle's second wedding in my teens. He spent his entire speech saying how lucky he was to marry his wonderful wife and gain her daughter as his own, and didn't at any point mention his own daughters or his sons who he hadn't informed about the wedding. It was awful.

Many years ago i went to a wedding - work colleague of DH. There were quite a few colleagues from his work who attended - including 2 female colleagues of the grooms. Halfway through the wedding mass the two girls started crying and noisily left the church Turns out they were both rather too close shagging the groom during office hours. How he juggled all 3 without them realising - or why they came to the wedding dont know. Bride was oblivious. She found out on honeymoon when he called her the wrong name in bed

At my uncle's wedding, he quickly nipped out to the car to get something, and his new wife decided she couldn't wait and just cut the cake by herself!?!?

A family friend of the couple was providing the cars. After a furious row, friends wife chucked the limo keys in a pond to fuck up the wedding (couple were not linked to the row, but she knew it would ruin her husbands business reputation).
Luckily there was a spare to be found after an hour or two searching.

The limo driver then proceeded to get 10000% hammered drunk during the ceremony. Couldn't move the car away from the front of the hotel for photos. Could barely walk and was threatening to drive home. Was sick in front of everyone.

I haven't RTFT but surely Libra wins!

My dad was awful at his sisters (my aunts) wedding. Tried hitting on one of the bridesmaids (yes he was married to my mum at the time) and got into a fight with her boyfriend. Got insanely drunk, caused alot of aggro by being the kind of truthful only drunk people can be, made a lot of people cry, proceeded to strip in various places around the hotel. Next morning me and my sisters were sent on a mission by my very sore headed father to find the various misplaced parts of his rented suit.

At my uncles wedding i was the badly behaved guest. I got very drunk very quickly, almost smashed a glass door by falling through it, got abit emotional towards the next and was put to bed by my boyfriend. Woke up an hour later, and for whatever reason decided to rejoin the party, forgetting to get dressed again. I went down to the lobby in my bra and pj bottoms. Thankfully most of the guests had gone home by this point but it was my mum's boyfriend who spotted me wandering around in my underwear and called my mum over to put me to bed. I was 24

Not quite on the same league as some of these but at my mum's wedding, some ramdomner gatecrashed the reception (local hotel so other users). He was undone by claiming to be a friend of the bride to my mum's best friend. Needless to say he was promptly escorted out by the management

Friend of mine was a bridesmaid. Got steaming and invaded the stage at the night do where there was a Rolling Stones tribute band, embracing the drummer and screeching 'I can't get no Ronnie Wood'.

I invited some work colleagues to our evening do. They added all their drinks to our tab, leaving us to pay about £130 on their behalf! BIL, who was the best man, had to cover it, as DH and I had left by then. We only heard about this after coming back from m our honeymoon. We reimbursed him of course.
I'd left my job as I moved away when I got married so I never got the opportunity to confront my ex-colleagues, but I do think, what cheek??

I once turned up to a wedding that had been cancelled the day before, as the bride and groom had been arrested 😀😀😀

Weirdest behaviour I've seen at a wedding was where within the first minute of the first dance the bride's dad interrupted and danced the rest with of the dance with his daughter, leaving the groom standing and watching.
The friends and family of the groom (us) stood speechless. The bride's friends and family didn't bat an eyelid.
The marriage lasted less than a year. She had their honeymoon baby and kicked him out......,

I help my DH who is a wedding photographer, some of these we have witnessed or have been told about by the couple when we deliver their photos.
One of the wedding the brides df during his speech made several references to the fact that this was her second wedding, he then proceeded to Deliver a long and bizarre speech that was basically all about him.

At another wedding some drunken guests attempted to steal one of the hotel statues and damaged it. The hotel then tried to get the B&G to pay for it.

I've witnessed badly behaved children, there was about 20 children various ages and their wedding favour was a sock monkey each. All the kids then decided to run round swinging these monkeys about totally unchecked by their parents who were enjoying a drink. I don't know how the wedding cake didn't get knocked over which had been put in the centre of the room and the chaos.

There was also the mil who wore exactly the same colour as the bridesmaids, despite the bride asking her not too. I then overheard mil telling a guest that she didn't realise it was the same shade because her outfit was apple green and bridesmaids were in sage green. The bride had seen the outfit before the wedding and asked mil to change it and told her why.

Nothing on some of the stories here, and I found all the blips hilarious anyway.

• My two brides-men got so pissed the night before that instead of arriving early on the morning (one of them was also pre-wedding photographer), they arrived minutes before the wedding. So no getting ready photos.
• They were starving, and I ended up feeding them my lunch. My dress-maker had to dress them.
• The registrar put the wrong details on the preceding couple's certificate, causing delay so I arrived (squashed in a taxi with 4 people as the taxi booking had been lost) and made my entrance on the street outside where the guests were all still queuing.
• Registrar then also got OUR certificate details wrong and had to redo it.
• A guest decided that this was the right moment to repeatedly phone DH to ask him to sort out their childcare at the hotel. So DH was phoning nannies outside the registrar's office.
• I was nauseous with morning sickness (not helped by the brides men having nicked my lunch).
• A guest threw an entire glass of wine down my dress (thankfully champagne).
• Caterers forgot the knife, so I had to brave the venue kitchens, in my wedding dress, to find a carving knife for the cake-cutting.

And why do people bring extra guests, or children, when no children invited, and then feed them, which upsets other guests who have paid for babysitters and want to know why their kids were excluded?

My not so DB and his even worse brides wedding was atrocious.
They NEVER smiled the whole day hence the awful wedding photos my DM hides in her spare room.
They chose my DNephew aged 16 to be BM and forced a speech on him where he thanked ALL the family dogs but none of the actual people.
The cake (shaped as a bus) arrived with the names Kaye & Ian piped on.... their names are NOT Kaye & Ian!

Reading these has made me very relieved that there weren't any dramas at our wedding.
I did announce at a wedding of my uncle to a woman that I really didn't like "Aunty can't dance" after the first dance...in fairness I was about 6 and had been taking dance lessons since I was 2 so kind of knew what I was talking about. I don't think I ever saw the woman again.