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Original poster

Tell me about the worst dinner party you've ever been to

213 replies

IwishIwishIwish · 27/07/2013 11:57

We had friends to dinner last night and despite feeling ill I did my best to do a good meal because my mum brought me up to always treat guests well however hard things may be otherwise.

It set me thinking about meals I've been invited to and then I remembered the horribly embarrassing meal we were invited to at a work colleagues of DP last year. I didn't really know them but we went along. On arrival we were served with a glass of ribena. Unusual I think to myself but I quite like ribena (dp hates it). We stood about politely drinking ribena then were told dinner was ready. In each place was a plate with a piece of toast (most of it cold) and in the middle a packet of tesco value pate not even opened and one knife. The 12 of us carefully shared it out. Hostess then produced an apple each cut into quarters with a slither of cheese followed up by a cup of tea or coffee and that was dinner (served with more ribena).

Maybe I'm just a horrible person but it has to be the worst dinner party I've ever been to! Socialising with friends was lovely but surely a dinner party is as much about the food as the socialising?

DP and I had brought a bottle of wine as had all the other invited couples but all of those were squirreled away by host and not seen again. I don't think they were short on money by the way though you can't always tell by looking so they may have been trying to make the best of a bad situation

OP posts:
BaronessTeapot · 27/07/2013 18:10

SP Me too! Grin

Original poster
IwishIwishIwish · 27/07/2013 18:12

Oh Tiger bless you. I hope your guests had the decency to clean up before they went. They must have realised what had happened. It sounds like the sort of thing I'd do.

OP posts:
Pollydon · 27/07/2013 18:17

Hmm, 2 month old ds, went to SMIL. &FIL to be introduced to there pretentious friends, bear in mind SMIL was a fantastic cook , all started well, until the main course. Mine served on a side plate, as she announced to the table " Pollydon needs to watch her weight" ladies, I was a size 12 Angry.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 27/07/2013 18:17

The vicar one has made me want to throw a dinner party and invite randomers just to observe!

FrauMoose · 27/07/2013 18:17

The oysters were impeccably timed that evening

That's some kind of euphemism?

Curioustiger · 27/07/2013 18:17

You can all come round to dinner at mine! (Bring your own pud)

ArtemisatBrauron · 27/07/2013 18:20

Went for dinner at a work colleague's house with my vegetarian DH. They had asked us if we had any allergies/dietary requirements before we came and I had said "DH is vegetarian, but we are happy to bring a dish to share with everyone if you are planning to cook meat"

Colleague was horrified at very suggestion and said his DW was a nutritionist who loved cooking for veggies and liked catering for unusual diets.

We turned up, drank some wine, all very convivial. Wife stays in kitchen for a very long time. Everyone gets very hungry, wine is flowing though so no-one really notices.

Finally, we all sit down when invited by husband, who says "we're having thai green curry". Everyone makes appreciative noises. Wife comes out of kitchen with 4 boil in the bag rices, tiny tiny bags and divides them between the 8 plates (there was literally about 2 tablespoons of rice on each plate). Then she comes out with a small milk saucepan and scoops 2-3 cubes of chicken onto 6 of the 8 plates before realising that she has run out. Hilariously, DH has about 4-5 pieces of chicken and is looking at me telegraphing "do they know I am vegetarian"... but is too polite to say anything.

Husband looks at wife and growls (totally unsubtly) you haven't made enough...this ALWAYS happens. This is ridiculous" before sitting down in a massive huff.

Wife says "Oh no I am happy with just rice" and sits down to her 2 tablespoons of rice.

Everyone else feels guilty because they have 2 tablespoons of chicken on their tiny pile of rice but eats it anyway because we are starving.

DH eats all his rice and sauce but leaves the chicken.

Husband glares hungrily at DH'splate for about 15 minutes, then suddenly barks "Oh - you're the vegetarian!!!"

Wife cries out "What?!? You're vegetarian?? DH, why didn;t you tell me, oh no I am so sorry" etcetc

We were Blush Blush and left quite soon after, went out for some food with some of the other hungryguests who are now good friends!

ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 18:32

Polly, how did you not burst into tears?

FairPhyllis · 27/07/2013 18:37

I was invited to a dinner party that I didn't realise was a dinner party.

The hostess had written a deeply arch faux-casual style invite which failed to actually mention that dinner was going to be on offer: it sounded as though it was basically going to be a get together with some wine and nibbles. So I had a meal before I went and arrived to find a heavy duty coq au vin going on.

Several other people had interpreted the invite in the same way I had and had already eaten; hostess threw a strop because we apparently had ruined her perfect Martha Stewart-esque evening, and insisted on giving us (slightly) reduced portions, at which we picked while we watched everybody else eat.

redwellybluewelly · 27/07/2013 18:46

A while back (10 years or so) a group if us who only really knew each other from our local decided ti start hosting dinner parties. They mostly involved far far too much alcohol and some rather dubious food but the one which stand out were the one where one guest went out for a fag after everyone course, the one where the guests wouldn't leave, the one where the vegetarian was completely forgotten until the roast beef was served, the one where the hosts had invited two couples and clearly forgotten so trips to make their dinner into three courses between six people we stopped at the chip shop on the way home and the other couple walked in behind us!

Oh and the one I hosted where one guy spend the whole meal asking his girlfriend why she wouldn't cook good food like this - cringe cringe - and she married him!

chipmonkey · 27/07/2013 18:50

Friend and her dh were invited to dinner with the ILs. Her MIL served up dinner to everyone else including friend's dh and then said to my friend "Oh, DIL, I haven't got enough to give you a dinner, will I make you a sandwich?" Friend was very upset but refused sandwicb and went in to the next room to play with the kids.

Similar happened at Christmas dinner. Friend now refuses to visit her ILs.

primroseyellow · 27/07/2013 18:54

Reading this thread with trepidation as all the worst dinner parties I have been to were mine.....

ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 19:00

That is appalling, chipmonkey. She'd been invited, too? And did the MIL have a meal herself?

How could her DH eat his meal when there wasn't one for her?

StealthPolarBear · 27/07/2013 19:01

Pmsl at sooty!

Sps, anyone else, youre welcome here. Do you like anything? Fray bentos?
:o

I love this thread. I'd love to have the hosts' version if events (not that I dont believe op, just cant imagine what they thought)

BrennieGirl · 27/07/2013 19:04

Some of these are hilarious.

I was once served super noodles at a dinner party.

Another time DH and I were invited to an old friend's for dinner. She had just gotten married and her new DH was an award winning chef. DH and I were rubbing our hands together in anticipation of a lovely dinner. We arrived with a bottle of champagne which she promptly put in the fridge "for another time". Her DH then served chicken with a Chicken Tonight sauce and boil in the bag rice followed by some sort of frozen gateau thing. I was never so disappointed by a dinner before Confused.

Last one. A college friend invited me and another girl over for lunch in her new house. We bought a huge bunch of flowers and wine for the hostess. When we got there she told us that she hadn't had time to cook so we were going out to a local restaurant instead. She told us it was a bit expensive but very nice. The other girl was mortified as she didn't have any money with her so I had to lend her some money. When we got to the local town the hostess said we'd have to wait a few minutes before going to the restaurant because she just had to nip to the beautician to get her legs waxed! I really didn't enjoy my lunch.

wheredidiputit · 27/07/2013 19:09

Chipmonkey I hope your friend does the same to MIL. And why didn't her dh pull his mum up on her behaviour.

Crikeyblimey · 27/07/2013 19:10

Not a dinner party but a wedding...

Some friends of my sister went round the room at their wedding with a box of crisps and handed everyone a bag!! That was the "food".

They are still really good friends and eat at each others houses regularly but my sis and bil know to have food first. This woman actually counts pieces of garlic bread and everyone gets one piece each (they are not badly off either - but that could be because the wife is so incredibly "frugal"!!)

soaccidentprone · 27/07/2013 19:10

One of my friends had a dinner party around 25 years ago. Starters was a large shared bowl of Bombay mix. Eventually the food was served around 10.30 by which time we were all really pissed, and very hungry.

It was home made pizza, and was very nice, but my friend spent the whole evening in the kitchen and took 2 1/2 hours to make pizza for 6 people!

Not dinner parties, but xh who couldn't cook did the following meals;

Jacket potato and fried egg. He didn't realise that 2 potatoes took twice as long to cook in the microwave, so we ended up having a fried egg started, and then plain jackets 15 minutes later

Hot nan bread with tinned spaghetti on top, then topped with a veggie cheeseburger

Veg curry, which didn't have enough liquid in, so there were loads of still dry spices in it.

The only disaster I can remember dh(2) was when her drained the noodles to go with the stir fry, and nearly all the noodles accidentally fell out of the colander and into the sinkBlush

I once made a cake though and forgot to put the sugar in itBlush

cyberfairy · 27/07/2013 19:26

I was invited to a friends for dinner who had eaten and drunk large quantities of food and red wine at my house. I was starving so was my partner. I bought a good bottle of wine. She then bought in a small economy cheese and tomato pizza and carved it into four. The wine was not seen again.
Then again I invited some friends to dinner years and years when I was a student and a shit cook, the soup 'set' and even when my friend turned the pan upside down, nothing dripped. I think I might have used Bisto. She was a real foody too. They then went home to find out they had been robbed.

rockybalboa · 27/07/2013 19:31

That's the weirdest excuse for a dinner party I've ever heard of! I used to have dinner regularly with 3 colleagues taking turns to go to each other's house. But they never spoke and I got fed up trying to drag conversation out of them each time, I was sick of the sound of my own voice. I snapped at them one night and said they needed to start bloody talking. It got a bit better but they were still hard work.

SignoraStronza · 27/07/2013 19:33

I remember when my ex's friend and his boss and awfully posh wife called in on the way back from a business thing and we were obliged to take them out to dinner. The crustacean dish the lady ordered started to walk across the plate, at which point she calmly stabbed it with her fork, dismembered it and gobbled it up. I was expecting fresh seafood, but surely not that fresh! I just looked on aghast and felt rather ill. I did wonder whether this was a normal French thing (their nationality) but surely they have their food even slightly cooked?!

Another time, all ready to dish up, the latecomers arrived, plonked their baby in a bumbo right in the middle of the ready laid table and proceeded to make an hour long performance art of spoonfeeding it a three course pureed meal. While we all waited. And waited.Apart from my dc, who was creased and ravenous by this point so we gave her some of the (by now, going cold food) on a plate in the living room and sent her off to bed. They still didn't get the hint!

queenofthepirates · 27/07/2013 19:46

Not my dinner party but friend and her husband had a party to celebrate the end of Ramadan. There were many very hungry guests invited. Except they are relaxed Muslims and they didn't know what time the end of the fast was and served up around 10pm. She said they were on the verge of being lynched.

figrus · 27/07/2013 19:52

We had 'a girls night in' once in my friends house. She had a lasagne in the oven. She is allergic to perfume. Someone had liberally sprayed perfume before going out. Hostess started sneezing so she popped upstairs to take an antihistamine. Starter was yummu but hostess started swaying and mumbling nonsense. On checking her tablets, she realised that she had mistakenly taken a sleeping tablet instead of an antihistamine tablet. So we popped her into bed, took the lasagne out of the oven, helped ourselves to the pavola in the fridge, washed the dishes, got drunk and let ourselves leaving a 'thank you' note on her table.

Salmotrutta · 27/07/2013 19:53

I'm Shock Grin and Confused in equal measure here!

My friends are all quite normal and we don't really do dinner parties - more casual suppers where everyone pitches in.

I need some mad friends!

I also want to meet the roll-throwing guest with Barbara and Harold! Priceless! Grin

ScarlettInSpace · 27/07/2013 19:55

I'm now thinking of going on come dine with me so I can share in the bad dinner party stories Grin

Except I'll end up being the one who drinks all the wine then tells them all that they are twats Crown & has to crawl into the next day with the hangover from hell and apologise even though everything I'd said was right

Haha I just wrote the story of my life right there ^ Grin

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