Tell me about the worst dinner party you've ever been to

[IwishIwishIwish]

We had friends to dinner last night and despite feeling ill I did my best to do a good meal because my mum brought me up to always treat guests well however hard things may be otherwise.

It set me thinking about meals I've been invited to and then I remembered the horribly embarrassing meal we were invited to at a work colleagues of DP last year. I didn't really know them but we went along. On arrival we were served with a glass of ribena. Unusual I think to myself but I quite like ribena (dp hates it). We stood about politely drinking ribena then were told dinner was ready. In each place was a plate with a piece of toast (most of it cold) and in the middle a packet of tesco value pate not even opened and one knife. The 12 of us carefully shared it out. Hostess then produced an apple each cut into quarters with a slither of cheese followed up by a cup of tea or coffee and that was dinner (served with more ribena).

Maybe I'm just a horrible person but it has to be the worst dinner party I've ever been to! Socialising with friends was lovely but surely a dinner party is as much about the food as the socialising?

DP and I had brought a bottle of wine as had all the other invited couples but all of those were squirreled away by host and not seen again. I don't think they were short on money by the way though you can't always tell by looking so they may have been trying to make the best of a bad situation

I once hosted a 'dinner party' (am not really posh enough to say 'dinner party' and feel a bit of a numpty even writing it down).

I had loads of lovely wine and cooked a beef stew (one of the meals I do best) with dumplings, roast potatos, Yorkshire puddings and lovely veg.

:)

But forgot about the desert until the last few minutes so had to nip to Tesco Express on the corner to find one.

Guests were given an Easter egg each..!

Calamity, some people are just not into cooking. I go to a dinner party for the company more than the food. I have one good friend who hates cooking so we will always get something simple when we go to theirs for dinner but it doesn't bother me. I always cook from scratch and my friend always apologises when we go to her but I don't think she has anything to apologise for. We get fed and wined and have lovely company, what more could you want?

Hows this. I wasn't there but I heard about it from a friend who was. My ex step mother was a social climber. No other words for it and clearly my dad didn't help her up the greasy pole enough so he was out (phew lucky escape IMHO). She attended a dinner with her new lawyer partner and as the dessert was served announced "I've been thinking about it and I've slept with all your husbands except yours Verity". Cue instant strained silence which continued for the rest of teh meal and all coffee etc. was refused as couples left clearly ready for huge arguments and difficult explanations.

I can well believe she'd said it too she is a bitch extrodinaire and we were well rid of her. I'd ahve loved to be a fly on the wall at all those couples homes later on that evening

Feel very sorry for the hostess who I knew quite well and is a very pleasant friendly kind lady (Not sure how Verity's husband fell through the net though)

Mrs that's so funny but I'd have been grateful for such a fab pudding.

Stayup what a fanny she was. Well rid of her.

Three come to mind, two from the same bloke.

Number one: He invited about ten of us round for dinner in his posh new flat. We arrived with wine, which was whisked away and never seen again. So we were offered one half glass of cheap plonk with no refills "until we see if anyone else turns up".
The meal was ... a microwaved ready meal divided between all of us (think one tablespoonful on a paper plate) followed by a shared (bought) value chocolate brownie traybake. Yum.

Number two, same guy different party; all of the guests were male couples, including the host and his partner. After some (limited) food and drinks, they started swinging and suggested that we put our car keys in the bowl to choose a partner. ExH and I were the only straight couple there, he began to look very uncomfortable and all I could think of was "One of them's going to be a bit disappointed":)
At that point we made our excuses and left. I often wonder if they were winding us up or if SE16 did have a gay swinging scene.

Number three was a chap who'd been to uni with ExH, after we ran into him one day we invited him + partner to dinner, nice evening if a bit dull. The fun began when the invite was reciprocated.
Turned up, there were about ten other people who obviously knew each other and weren't interested in talking to us. Starter was fish and seafood, which I don't like, but could live with. Conversation was all about their trips round Australia - as we've never been we just sat and said nothing. And so it went on all evening.
Finally we got up to go, I popped to the toilet and disturbed the host mid wee.
We never heard from them again.

Don't do dinner parties now.

DH and I were visiting family friends - mother and son- while abroad on holiday. We had a lovely day out, then invited back for dinner, which we bought together at a local shop. Nice wine, but I was driving so only had one glass.

Near the end of a nice dinner, we decided that we would stay over (invite was pressed on us and certainly not unwelcome from hosts' pov) so I could drink a bit more.

About ten minutes later - during which time I had downed about half a bottle had a bit too much to drive, mother says, "ooh, my programme is on now, I can share the sofa bed with you"! And proceeds to ignore us while watching The Bill. Son gives us something to wear in bed, DH has a bum-skimming shirt and I have something similar.

They both merrily say, don't mind us, get undressed and in the sofa bed if you want, we just want to watch this. They don't speak to us for the rest of the evening.

In the morning we decide to leave early, without waking them, but can't even get into the toilet as they have locked all doors out of the room we were sleeping in. We managed to climb through a small window and escape!

All very strange.

I was the dinner party guest from hell once.

DD must have been about 3. I'd not long split up from ex-P and while I don't remember being particularly down, a good friend must have thought I needed to get out. She invited me along as a last minute extra to a dinner party at her house with three (childless smug) couples. I explained it was too short notice to get a sitter, but she was really lovely and said no problem, it would be great to have DD there, she's no bother, she can go to sleep upstairs and I could stay with her in spare room etc. Really lovely of her and I happily accepted.

She then said DD would be welcome to join us for dinner. She'd serve up early and then give me chance to settle her before dessert. All good, except friend didn't communicate this to her partner, who was cooking, so he ended up rushing the cooking and serving up the minute the other guests arrived following some urgent hissed whispers in the kitchen.

DD was pretty hungry and tired by this point and not being particularly charming. Friend had chosen to serve pasta because I said she'd eat that, but friend's DP mixed all the pasta in with a rich tomato sauce which DD flatly refused to eat. The more tired, hungry and whingy she got, the more fuss she was making about everything that was put in front of her, to be met with patronising pitying looks from the smug marrieds.

She flatly refused the pasta with tomato sauce on it, and in my desperation to get her to eat I ended up sucking the sauce off each bit and handing it to her. She then started saying it was too hot, (she would only eat cold things at that age) and I snapped at her, saying it was completely cold and to stop being silly. The host overheard and grabbed the plate saying "so sorry -I'll warm it up for her" and I had to chase him into the kitchen to rescue it.

I was so stressed at the hassle we were causing I couldn't relax and just wanted to leave but couldn't as I'd had a drink. I went up to put DD to bed and stayed up there about 2 hours and pretended I'd fallen asleep next to her!

I know at least one of those couples has two young kids now. I really hope they look back and change their judgy opinion of me!

I really don't like dinner parties. I find it to be a very 'forced' situation and can't relax. The worst one I had was actually at my house and my dp had cooked. He's usually a very good cook, but it all went wrong and the food was nearly inedible. It was 5 years ago and still makes me cringe now.

Kezia, desperation through sucking the sauce off the pasta the things we will do!

Dh and I went to a lovely dinner party where the hostess served the a gorgeous cake for pudding but kept licking her fingers whilst dishing up..so slice for guest 1 then scoop up crumbs to add to bowl, lick fingers..slice for guest 2.. get cake into bowl with help from licked fingers, another quick suck and so on. Mind you I might be a bit precious about people adding saliva to my food..it was lovely apart from that.

The worst one so far was mine. Made a lot of effort cooking everything from scratch, all my best stuff out. Garden made nice as was eating outside, perfect I think. Time for everyone to be arriving but no one showed up, not even an apologetic text. Kids were most disappointed as their friends were supposed to be coming with one of the families.

These are all much worse than mine but we are regularly invited to dinner parties by a couple who like to serve things as they are ready. It tends to go:

Bowl of peas on table followed 10 minutes later by a plate of stuffing balls, followed 10 minutes later by carrots etc. Time between peas and meat generally 40 minutes all the while being encouraged to eat up whilst its hot!!

We all sit around tucking into a little forlorn pile of peas and wondering if the gravy might come out at some point before desert. The food is yummy I just prefer to have it on the plate at the same time.

I heard a story about a dinner party for around 10 senior male professionals all in the same field, who all brought their wives. Very posh and all very nice.

One single, male guest arrived a little late and everyone was already seated. He walked into the dining room, took one look at the table and for some unfathomable reason declared cheerily 'oh look, how funny, a whole table of married couples, and in everyone one of them there has been an affair'

Whilst this statemet was sadly true, it was not necessarily known to all of the wives at the time. I can only imagine the atmosphere for the remainder of the night...

About 12 years ago DH and I went to a work colleague's for a murder mystery evening. 2 of our friends went too, but we didn't know the other couple.

My character was asked to wear low cut top, short skirt etc. So I did. The woman from the couple we didn't know set about me the minute we arrived. I think she called me a slag a few times, didn't seem to get it was a character thing.

Murder mystery finished, we moved onto dinner, where she sat next to the engaged host and rubbed his legs under the table, v obviously. We then played that stick a post it on your head and guess who you are game, and she totally lost the plot at me as I was Colin Powell and there was some kind of argument about how you pronounce Colin. Which degenerated rapidly into her calling me a slag again.

I ignored her. I was just open mouthed at it.

I went to an adult pool party once, where there was a definite atmosphere as the host's wife was having an affair with the husband of another guest. A memorable evening for all the wrong reasons!

At another dinner party, one of the guests drank so much he passed out under the table. Apparently this was quite normal behaviour for him, so we all just carried on as if nothing had happened.

chipmonkey you are right of course. It is the company rather than the food which was delicious. I think it's probably the fact the hosts were pretentious knobs who when they came round to ours for a wine tasting and dinner party night, turned up an hour late when the wine tasting chap was waiting for them (3 couples including me & DH; other couple were on time), refused to drink any of the wines because they weren't French but bloody nice and then dominated the conversation all night boasting about the hypothetical house they were going to buy on the nicest road in our town they've just bought an average house on an average road! Actually that sounds like the worst dinner party!

I think it's cos they boast about being great at everything but couldn't be arsed to home cook the meal.

I admit I'm quite fussy but will stomach most things to be polite. Broad beans and peas are not negotiable. I'm also not a fan at all of goats cheese. I think I was the guest from hell with my "Are you serious?" response to the hostess's announcement that the first course was pea & broad bean purée on a bed of goats cheese! I genuinely thought my DH had had a quiet word telling her to wind me up. He was quite happy to have my portion!

I LOVE goats cheese! I would have taken it off you as well!

If you cant cook, then don't invite people for a meal!!

That's why I don't do dinner parties

Love sooty and croissants

When me and DH were newly married MIL made a big hooha about us spending Christmas day with her. I really don't like her or FIL and DH isn't mad on them either!

Christmas breakfast was a big thing in their house so we had to walk to their house for 8.30 for boiled eggs and baps. Then MIL and FIL announced they were going to bed because they had worked the night shift in Christmas eve. leaving the dishes for us to do.

SIL and her boyfriend were there so we decided to start drinking straight away. MIL had soup in the pressure cooker and SIL and myself were in charge of it. Being totally pissed instead of putting the weight's on when we were supposed to we opened it and the soup shot up and hit the ceiling. It was thick vegetable soup and it just hung there. I had to climb on the worktop and scrape it down with a spoon. By this time we were nearly hysterical with laughter.

Then we heard MIL and FIL having sex.

When they came downstairs MIL expressed surprise at how little soup there was, served up the dinner and then I had to go upstairs to be sick.

After dinner games resulted in DH and his dad nearly coming to blows over an answer (FIL does not like to be wrong).

I don't remember much more

auntmargaret not Chris Patten This was about 5 years before he came out and became Fat Pang.

Oh dear Calamity we're having guests round for lunch in the garden today - broad beans and pancetta, with goat's cheese and crusty bread, and there are sugar snap peas in the salad. You would hate me forever.

trikken did you ever find out what happened? Did you or they get the date wrong? That would make me

Cocolepew

Mine isn't funny but it was probably the most boring evening of my life. ExDP's best friend and wife invited us for dinner along with his brother and SIL.
Said brother spent the entire meal talking and the only topic of conversation was the minutiaea of the lives of the people in the small town he lives in, who none of the rest of us (except his wife, obv) knew. This was LITERALLY the only topic all night. Four hours felt like four days and I found myself having to fight to stay awake. I was so relieved when we could finally escape. The hosts are lovely and had made a fabulous meal but Bore Brother spoiled the whole night.

*minutiae

I once went to an awkward dinner party with a woman I rather liked.

I think her background was quite down-to-earth. Later in life she'd acquired - and subsequentlyhed - a rich executive husband, which meant she was particularly keen to do things properly. This meant that with it being a dinner party and all, she wanted her leather jacketed left wing academic boyfriend to wear a suit and tie. Which he had refused to do.

At the time I had a three month old baby, who I was breastfeedin. My friend seemed vaguely horrified that I'd be bringing the baby, but couldn't actually get it together to disinvite me.

What with her disapproving of boyfriend's lack of tie and me for sticking the baby up my blouse at intervals, it was rather a tense evening.

Worst dinner party was my own.

At Uni I lived with 3 guys, all lovely.

One night we had a dinner party for some friends. Lovely roast beef and a chocolate fondue with fruit for pudding. One flat mate couldn't be there.

Unbeknown to me the missing flat mate had been exhibiting some strange behaviour of late (I had been working and staying at my then boyfriend's flat, so not home much).

He arrived back in the middle of dessert and started behaving very erratically. He then tried to strangle another of my flatmates and all the male guests had to pull him off and restrain him while he calmed down.

I called the Police as he then attempted to drive in his car, they spoke to him and he then disappeared all night.