To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

[doubleshotespresso]

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

What a lovely ending to the story - and what a lovely friend you are, Doubleshot. When you meet the planner and thump him with your handbag, please give him an extra one from me!

Your muddy rugby boys reminds me of a song my dad used to sing to me, that started, 'My, but you're a mucky kid, dirty as a dustbin lid!' - as the mother of three boys myself, it seems apt!

It's a good film isn't it amazing. I dident know there were real life fraaaaanks oh dear

Well done! And congratulations to your friend for having a friend like you.

Hope things go ok for her. Do get this thread deleated, I would hate for her to come across it at some point in the future.

read thread

just wow!

double well done, you're a lovely friend - glad you went with your gut, and gently confronted her about it!
poor her, no first time mum needs that trauma of people falsely accusing her being a grabby bitch - if she ever reads this thread I'm sorry about my comment, it was obviously misguided!
big hugs to both of you!
when the ceremony is over you can all laugh about this gift-list-gate!

you know, for all the troubles "Fraaank Elton John" caused he should pay for you and your friend to go & have a lovely spa day - you two need to recover from all the mess he caused!

and after the relaxing massages and mud packs you must watch "Father of the Bride" before going to bed - in fact if you pm me your address I'll send you a copy as a present from me and piglet!

Thanks everybody, I cannot quite describe how exhausting today has been. We have sent about 60 emails and called so many people the battery ran out on my house phone! We have printed the same note that went into the email, stuffed and addressed envelopes to the entire invited guest list and will post tomorrow morning....

We sank (ahem) 2 bottles of wine between the two of us and DP , lots f tea too and have taken it in turns to deal with the baby..... Friend is now in a deep deep sleep.

Hotel meeting tomorrow...... We are yet to have our voicemail or email answered by Elton John..... I cannot wait until we get rid of him. I have never before hated somebody before meeting them, but I really do based in the things I have heard today. He took advantage and I am determined to let him know how vile his behaviourbhas been....

Best news today is that her DH is cominghome tomorrow night for onenight amd will join us formdinner tomorrow. So have just finished a Jaffa cake cheesecake ( promised kids so had to!) and am weirdly wide awake now. DP is snoring for England in front of tv.....

What a day. I cannot believe any human could be so opportunistic.....

Anyway- me and the kindle are off to bed. Will update tomorrow.....

And yes maybe I should dlete this thread- any idea how I do this please anybody? It has been greatly therapeutic for me but think whenthis is all resolved I will maybe do that. Hmmmm, I do feel as though I have new friends in a weird way this week. You have all made me laugh when I needed to and think rationally when I had lost perspective.

Must check out father of the bride!

Night all zzzzzzz

Oh I should add my friend is not on MN. She only got her own email account last year ..... You are more likely to. Find her gardening (her amazing talent) than on a computer. She cannot even work her own sky planner!

hi double glad you managed great damage control!

you need to report your own original post and explain to MNHQ that you want thread deleted to protect your friend.
I'm pretty sure they will do it.

I can not stop thinking how much I would love to read the full gift list. but I'm not asking, only wishing!

big hugs, sleep well!

You are a great friend and I'm so pleased that you and she have been able to sort this situation out.

I am currently in Australia, although not in a major city, and have several friends who have had babies and have NEVER seen a list like that for a naming ceremony. So it might be the type of people who her sister hangs out with, rather than a general whole-country type of thing; we have lots of wannabe programmes on the tv here (think like TOWIE, only ours is called The Shire (NSW) and so on) so that might account for it, but honestly I've never come across it in 4 years yet, and I'm sure that most, if not all, other Australia-dwellers on here would agree with me.

Ha ha ha! Now I've heard everything. Gifts for the mother!!!! Blimey!

Aww, have now read the entire Fred. Your poor poor friend! Can't believe what a chance the event organiser is!

You're a truly lovely friend. Well done for being brave enough to broach a potentially difficult situation and for helping her fix it. What a star!

Doubleshot ! Well done and hope you have dodged any hangovers.

Please please keep us updated on any planner news. I'm embarrassingly hooked on this.

You truly are a fantastic friend, your friend is so lucky to have you. I hope it turns right in te end. I think you can ask MN to delete the thread

Oh Doubleshot You said upthread you don't have many friends. How do you not? You sound a wonderful, honest and compassionate woman and I'd love to be your friend!

I'm so pleased you've sorted all this.

Oh I am so glad that this is being sorted and that an idiot party planner is responsible rather than your friends. I also apologise for calling your friend greedy and grasping in my earlier post. I hope all goes well and keep us updated.

Well done OP. You're a diamond!

I had a feeling it was a 'party planner'. Monogramed candles, yeah, just what every new Mother needs! I think the party planners punishment should be to have to look after a baby for a week or two! Might bring the selfish eejit down to Earth with a bump!

But I wouldn't wish that on any poor little baby!

I reckon that not only was the party planner incompetent as already discussed but that he was self interested too.

I think that he gets a cut of everything bought from it and therefore it's in his interest to stuff it with only expensive things and then people will feel they have to buy things and hey presto he has a nice little waned on the side..,

Only just seen this thread so I'm pleased to read a good result. You are a lovely lovely person :)

Thanks so much everybody..... Yes I think this has more to do with friends' sisters' aspirations than what is the norm for everybody living in Australia ( she runs a media firm)......

We just returned from the hotel and my friend bawled her eyes out with relief when we got in the car afterwards..... Think we have pretty much nailed the plans and the manager there was super smart with suggestions and accommodating changes... I will detail later when her DH has heard everything..... The manager did comment that he thought my friend had been swept away with the planner and has agreed he will have no further contact with him until we have dispensed with his services... The manager visibly baulked at the sight of gift list.....

No hangover today thank goodness, we went for a coffee/de-brief on the way home when friend had composed herself a bit and had a great heart to heart. Her baby coped with ride so think we are all on the road back to sanity. Her DH is driving this way now will eat dinner with us later and then drive back up north later.....

We have had some wonderful emails and voicemails back from our marathon set of calls yesterday. . . Progress and relief for her that people are so understanding........

More later......

Brilliant work, again, double.....and so positive that everyone is responding with understanding. Those must have been some well-worded calls. Talk about "cavalry to the rescue"!

You must be feeling absolutely shattered by now. Have a second [coffee]

Am battered mentally but strangely awake, feeling better the more control we gain of the situation. We still did not hear back from Elton John the planner..... Cannot wait to get him out of the picture so my friend can actually look forward to the day.

Sister is due to attend yes. Friend is very concerned at how she will react to the news of the planner being let go. Her DH is insistent she has no further involvement with the plans.....

More tea ......

here's some tea for you

and a snack

I am one for being honest and broaching things directly (as discussed earlier!) but given your friends mental state, I think I would be suggesting that her DH handles talking to the sister .... probably with a call to tell her he has fired the planner, before the planner gets in first!!

If the sister cares, then one would hope she will put her siblings emotional state a long way ahead of any working relationship she may have with a paid planner. actually, I would hope she is as horrified as everyone else.