To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

that is a brilliant response! up yours snotty cake lady

i hope none of her cakes sell. your nests will sell really quickly. they tend to be very popular

You HAVE to update us!

People who go mad on primary PTAs end up on the governing body of secondary schools.

One good thing about that (if you are as narrow minded and petty as I am, and I am sure you are ) is that parent governers need to be voted in, so their lobbying statement comes home with the newsletter and you can point and laugh and take the piss out of someone who have held a brooding resentment with since Year 6.

Hurrah for the chair!

DS(4) has been begging to make crispy cakes all week. Definitely primary school crack.

IME and IMHO children like stuff they recognise and know is reliable. Lemon drizzle might be nice but cornflake cakes will definitely be nice. And there's no danger that it might actually be coconut or something instead, which would be a HEINOUS CRIME and total waste of your 50p.

how about re-boxed luxury herbal tea bags in a lovely floral packet entitled 'Twatbags'

I need those. And some arsebiscuits to go with them.

"Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

i would regard that as a challenge!

if i were in a devious sort of mood i might set up a wee stall outside the school gate and sell them to people on their way in and then make a big show of announcing just how much I myself, on my own with my own cornflake cakes, had raised for the school. emphasis on ME! i would of course hold one cake back to throw at PTA woman's head.

We have friends of the secondary school, I don't know what they do.
I've done 11years of PTA. That is enough.

Ahem ... I already have a pinny emblazoned with

PISS OFF
I'M BUSY

Bought for me by DH especially to wear when I'm cooking Christmas dinner, which I have down to a tee and no I don't want any help telling you what I want done will take time and mess up my carefully-honed schedule! (That man really knows me well !)

damn you all!

Just got asked by a senior colleague what I was so happy about...

I am not sure that CUNT bunting would have gone down well....I had to scrabble and tap dance and make something up about my DD.

Oddly enough, GetOeuf, Churlish Chickpea Denier composed a hilarious personal statement for her (failed) election bid.

How we laughed. And scanned it for future amusement.

Ha ha!

"(if you are as narrow minded and petty as I am, and I am sure you are"

Whatever gave you that idea?

I am really tempted now to volunteer to assist at the bake sale tomorrow. Just to be sure that old mrs. hair bear isn't hiding my cakes under her massive maxi skirt...

Cornflake cakes always sell out first! Is the woman mad? My DCs go to a moderately poncey school were the parents have a habit of giving individual polenta cakes or some such horror. Me I always make cornflake cakes covered in smarties or mini eggs, they go every time.

I once diverged into lurid cupcakes (the kind where you can taste the colouring) with clashing buttercream covered in sprinkles. I thought they'd be a hit, but not as much as cornflake cakes...

I really want the cornflake nazi to be a MNer!!!!

Epic fail on 2 social sites!!! One can dream...

When the kids all come out covered in chocolate you'll know you have won.

But will you please make this little beauty for PTA woman.

No-one can hold a petty grudge like me.....no-one.

Especially when someone's behaved in an ill-bred manner.

please go along, hopefully all of yours will sell and she'll be sat with her big fat unwanted lemony mess !

Then loudly make comments about how well yours are selling and "gosh, perhaps you were wrong about what would sell!" In fact, sell them for 5p, it's not about the money now, it's about empty tupperwear.

Oh, do volunteer Marmalade, and watch as your crispy cakes get demolished first - the kids will charge at them. Always first to go at our school sales. I hope the snooty mum provides joyless sugar free rock buns that get kicked around the playground.

My kids now just use Miranda Hart's tactic when people behave like that, and say 'Rude' with a massive polite smile on their faces.

You absolutely should volunteer and then get a photo of her wasp sucking face when your cakes sell out first.

Right, I'm attempting a nap now (new baby = sleepless nights) but I need to know her reply. Please post when able. Thanks.

Ooooohhh...can you imagine if she is reading this?

Should be working right now, but I'm feeling all gleeful.

Has she replied yet?

... the fuck?

Lemon Drizzle has just been on and said "Well obviously I was being sarcastic. They SELL BEST."

Have I totally misread things?

Wha'?

Hmmmmmm.......

I call BS on that one.