To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

[ICBINEG]

50p is deffo the international standard price for bake sale cakes....or £1 for a slice of magnificent gateaux.

[IsSpringSprangedYet]

My kids lick the frosting off of cupcakes and leave the cake, so I always go for krispie things rather than cupcraps.

i will eat both though

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Tabulah. I want to do that one!

Have just replied on Facebook with "Oh OK, I won't bother then. Shame as I thought you were desperate?" then a nice passive aggressive :) to end.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Oooh, handbags at dawn.

She can get to fuck, can't she? I wouldn't even bother with a response, although I do love tutu's breezy 'OK then, I won't bother.'

OP, if you bring some round to mine I'll put the kettle on.

[minouminou]

But you will do them, right?
With the sparklers?

[kelda]

Pelt flapjacks at her instead. The triangular shaped ones. They are the weapon of choice at the moment.

[anklebitersmum]

Get Ouef me too!! and a floral Pinny with "Get Fucked" on it so I can look at it pointedly when someone interferes in the kitchen

[Wewereherefirst]

I really want a chocolate crispy cake now. Not some shitty drizzle cake.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

ALSO, they are holding the cake sale in the shelter in the playground. WTF? It is BALTIC. They are wondering why only 3 people are volunteering to help. What are they? Thick? Move the venue to a classroom or the hall and you might get more people to help, you thick cunts.

Oooh, getting in to it now...

[anotheryearolder]

am dying to hear what her reply is !

[ICBINEG]

how about re-boxed luxury herbal tea bags in a lovely floral packet entitled 'Twatbags'

[EostreChaoticResurrEggtion]

Or get a pinny with "I'm with Bitch-face" on and stand next to her.

[issypiggle]

choc cornflake cakes are the best. don't make them, or just make them for your kids. sod the lot of 'em

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

x-posted with OP. PLEASE keep us updated.

GetOeuf and anklebiters, I'd buy all of those things. And some gardening gloves emblazoned with YOU WANKER.

[Iamcountingto3]

If its anything like our school, we had to hold our cake sales outside because otherwise every helper had to be CRB checked.
In fact I was told at one point that anyone who came into the school to pick up a table to take outside for a cake sale had to be CRB checked. I kid you not.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

I really feel that we may have seen the next big business just get born on Mumsnet. I am proud to have been here and would like a discount on a BitchFace pinny please.

[anotheryearolder]

You could always get a "Did you mean to be so rude?" floral pinny to wear when you help at the next one !

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Hmmm, dunno if it's the CRB thing. I have helped at discos etc and haven't been CRB checked.

Which is a good job because I am trying to keep my murder conviction secret.

[LondonNinja]

Loving this.

CUNT bunting = marvellous.

Can't wait to hear old lemon-sucker-face's reply.

[Eskino]

Reply with, "they're GLUTEN FREE MUTHAFUCKA"

[BaronessBomburst]

And what happened to the poster who was going to start up the 'Darkside' baby book business? You know, the first trip to A&E, first vomit on baby-hating relative's silk blouse, the first time you dropped DC etc......

[Iamcountingto3]

fair enough, in that case they are just brainless. Fuck 'em and their hippo-flattened lemon drizzles.

[Thumbwitch]

I have a feeling that if an "I'm with bitchface" pinny came on the market, DH would buy one for himself!

[GetOeuf]

Why is it that most people on PTAs are acvtually really nice (IME) but there is always one or two ratbastards who make you feel better about substandard cakes?

[Poppet48]

I'd choose a cornflake Easter nest over a fairy cake any day of the week, Ignore her