To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

Nope, but you have to make me one, too :o

I want mine to say PRINCESS CUNTALINA, though.

I see your Princess and raise you one Empress

In my head, I'm singing it to the tune of Thumbelina...

Have loved this thread! Cheered me up from a disappointing birthday.

I love LDC btw, but how the fuck do you scramble it?

Love these cross stitch patterns for anti twee. I can't really do them for my house as my kids are too young to get the irony. This one is safe and v Mn though.

Would love to join in the cake punching in Wholefoods, but fear I'm too much of a good girl. Am always at the people in there doing their week's shopping. Where do people get that sort of money from at the moment?

I wonder if this is LDC

In my head, it's to the tune of Bob the Builder

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages - and precisely why I avoid all PTA politics!
5 slices is so bloody PA, what a nob!

Such a funny thread, just wanted to thank Toby for the 'mole at the checkout' comment, totally using that from now on

The last time I was in chelt whole foods I threw up in the sink (am pregnant and the last person to use the loo had had a poo related issue). Can I join the team? I really want to push over the fruit displays. How do they stack it like that? And also they spray it with water!! They have actual little bottles for it!!

I wonder if the large amount of crispie cakes had anything to do with the online comments on FB? And people seeing the chair's response to Marmalade?

And yes, I made some crispie cakes with DS today.... He comes up every two seconds asking if they're ready to eat yet.

Happy birthday bumper!

And lol at pushing over thr fruit displays.

I have no idea how people afford to buy to buy all their groceries from there. But it is always packed. I always hope that these sanguine looking people are thinking 'four fucking english pound for one fishcake are they KIDDING' like I am.

Oh come on, I used the word BULLY in capitals and disCusted with a C and you didn't all immediately get that I was joking?

Must Try Harder.

I reeeeally want a lemon drizzle cake though. Not a scrambled one, a proper one.

I have just read this whole thread whilst meant to be working in the office and sniggered all through, cue having to make up all sorts of excuses in response to strange looks from colleagues.

Thank you

she sooo did you a favour missing a slice for you, because after the woo ha, and people from the school obviously reading this thread, if she'd offered you a slice of her lemony curdled cake, you would have looked proper petty and sacrificed your moral high ground if you'd refused it or not eaten it. You'd have had to choke it down to you remained the person who's not been publicly rude.

If she really had any sort of MNer bitch about her, she'd have served you the largest slice, handed to you with a sinister look on her face which would leave you thinking "oh fuck, has she put laxatives in it?" then making you chose between potentially sacrificing your bowel health for the Easter holidays or sacrificing the moral high ground.

And if she really was a bitch, she really would have put laxatives in it.

I love the idea that up and down the country in supermarkets there's desimated cakes as a result of a one punch from a frustrated mum who has read this!!!
AMAZING!!!

From this thread I have deduced that

A) Bupcakes may have left
B) Horry is LDM
C) Tobylerone could be the poo troll joke

Very sad that no one punched the cake

Back to LDC I cannot believe she actually had the nerve to not offer you any- thats some cheek!!! Love the fact she knew it wouldn't sell so kept it to one side, surely you'd make two?!?

Had a classic moment myself at a PTA 'do' recently only helped as as I was on the bar Woman bossily barges in, and introduces herself. 'So,' she says, 'now you can put a face to the name!' I smiled weakly. 'it's a nightmare,' she confided, 'everyone knows my name, but no-one knows me' I had never heard her name, nor seen her anywhere around the school. Wierdo. Chair of PTA apparently.

i imagine LDC beating one out (to the tune of "isn't it alovely day to be caught in the rain")

"isn't it a crappy day to be making a cake- la bloody la la.

you're all making crispy cakes that will ne-e-ver sell.
well it really doesn't matter if you use naice chocolate or smartprice crap,
as long as they are on my stall they will melt in hell..."

absolutely love and will be using mole at the checkout

I have loved lurking on this thread.
And I love even more that Toby used one of my favourite phrases.

But to bring it even more full-circle, do you know another phrase for avoir la taupe au guichet ??

You can also say, in slang: démouler un cake (un-mould a cake)

C'est parfait, non?

..had to do a quick catch up cos I had to rush round the supermarket as fast as possible go shopping but on the upside I beheaded a brioche bunny and assaulted a victoria sponge while out

Can someone tell me what a PO is and LDM?
My LCD is a bit like the dribbling penis earlier!
This thread has put me off lemon drizzle cake for good

PO is Professionally Offended, I think. Not sure about LDN, though.

LDM = LemonDrizzleMaxi

Honestly, 'there is a mole at the checkout' makes me laugh a truly undignified amount. I'm glad someone has verified that it is actually the phrase. A-Level French in 1996 didn't cover turtleheading and the metaphors surrounding it.

And yes. I am the poo troll. Mwahahahahahaha.