Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

[ledkr]

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

This is brilliant.

My mother does the 'ooh, I've had a dreadful night's sleep' thing referred to waaaaaay upthread.

Yes mother. That's because you have a three hour nap every afternoon and go to bed at 19:30 pm. Of course you wake up at 04:30. That's not insomnia - that's you being bonkers. And you don't have to go to work so it doesn't actually matter when you sleep.

A soap variation... DM had a whole shelf of bars of soap, because the longer it is kept the harder it goes and the longer it then lasts.

We went to my dp's for Boxing Day lunch. The hour before lunch was spent with my df whittling away about opening a bottle of wine. I don't drink dm doesn't drink and DH was driving. Df would like a glass of wine with his lunch, oh but the waste if he opened a whole bottle just for himself. Much indecision, discussion with dm about the dilemma and pressure on DH to have just one glass so he could justify opening it. He decided to throw caution to the wind and open a bottle. It is Xmas after all. When we got to the table, there sat an open,grotty HALF bottle of Blue Nun.

The meal itself was a triumph of cuisine from dm, an excellent cook in her heyday. One Aunt Bessie roast potato each, a spoonful of frozen peas, two slices of cold ham and a jug full of luke warm "Honey and Mustard, Chicken Tonite". All washed down with luke warm Blue Nun or very weak orange juice (squash).

Dessert was from Iceland, because " you can't go wrong with Iceland."

Dotty- my nan always had to have a bath or at least a strip wash when going to the gp. Even if it was about her head or feet

Ledkr are you from the north? I have not heard the term strip wash in years. My mum and grand parents would have done the same, plus saving your ' best clothes' for holidays.

Nope I'm a southern belle
Pil are obsessed with showers and also bring flannels which they drape over my bath. My ds always says "he's soaped his balls on that flannel" and he's probably right.
They will have a shower over being on time for anything. I once stayed at their house for a wedding and in the morning it was hilarious. Constant showers from all who were there and even bil and sil came to go to the wedding with us and had bloody showers! We nearly missed the wedding. We then took cars back to their house to get taxis to the reception and they all faffed about so much that we missed the bloody photos!
It takes ages to leave the house I am just stood in disbelief while they discuss cagouls and gloves and wallets then change shoes etc.
I literally can it go away with them in the spring because my head will blow off my neck with frustration.

ledkr
My SIL (before she became my SIL) asked me to go shopping with her.
I arrived on time because I am anal about time and she said "oh come talk to me in the bathroom, I'm just going to have a bath and wash my hair"

I nearly hit the roof, and she complained to the rest of my SILs that I'm so-uptight-about-time I wouldn't even let her have her bath.

BTW this was about 15 yrs ago! And she is still making the rest of us wait anytime we all go somewhere.

I should have slapped this habit out of her back then! It drives everyone nuts, but she is the family 'baby' so seems to get away with bad behaviour.

Is this evidence of my anal behaviour, hers, or both ?

Reading through this thread I can tick almost all the boxes when I combine both my DPs and ILs habits. I just pray that there is not a genetic link to this behaviours. My DH has some behaviours which are SO similar to my DF that this whole thing about marrying someone who is like your DF has become more than a concern!

I'd like to share my own trolley rage incident though.

My DM latterly became quite impatient when out shopping. This popped up in huffing and puffing at other shoppers if they didn't move/do as they should have. It came to a head in the queue one day when they poor lady in front of us apparently wasn't moving through the checkout quickly enough... I spotted the face pulling then the stage whispers, which were embarassing enough... then I realised we were entering new territory: the other shopper wasn't pulling her trolley through quickly enough and I saw my DM raising her arms to 'help' our trolley forward. And it wasn't going to be a gentle 'help'.

I shoved my foot under the trolley wheel, stopping it in its tracks. Without my personal foot brake, she would have rammed the other shopper.

Funny thing was - nothing was said. My DM pretended nothing had happened. My foot was throbbing for ages afterwards.

• these

There have been threads about showers v strip washes fairly recently. Things to do with bum flannels and what not. It's grim, I tell you!

ledkr you HAVE to go away with them so you can start another thread

I wish I'd started a thread whilst on holiday with my DF as it might have stopped me from shouting at him on the last day. I wasn't cleaning/packing fast enough so I said I'd have to stick a broom up my ass if he wanted it done quicker. There was no hurry btw we had hours til they came to inspect the property

Saltire. MIL does that with us too (as well as being indignant about unscheduled outings). Every time she knows we're out, she'll call our landline from about 30 minutes before she thinks we should be due back, just in case we've forgotten to call to announce our return. When she calls my mobile for live updates she wants instant details on our road position and traffic conditions. We don't dare stop off for a takeaway.
At any given time, 7 out of 10 numbers in my Caller Display list are from PILs.

When I took the xmas cards down I was thinking that I should keep them to put up again next year so that i can boast about how many we have.
And yes MIL, I know that little shrine like section in the corner is all the cards my late dad sent to you. He died three years ago, and starting this "tradition" a month after he died might just have been a bit tactless....

My pil are lovely people and often come to stay - but always have to bring a supply (at least a 9 roll pack) of their own loo paper, which has to be peach coloured (although I notice from checking the packet that it has been renamed 'Pebble'- peach must have gone out of fashion in the 80s). I feel a little bit offended that my white Andrex is not up to standard....

We are assumed to be dead in a ditch if we don't answer the phone. Both my parents and grandparents make the assumption. This is bolstered by my mother's firm belief that the countryside is full of murderers. We would be much safer in the city, like her.

My MIL heats her plates in the microwave.

My MIL has a coronary when I answer DH's mobile - 'who's that?!, oh you had me worried, I didn't know who it was'. Drives me demented so I refuse to answer. We've been together 5 years, so you'd think she'd assume it was me.

I quite like routine and structure and can see myself being just like the Ps and PILs on this thread. Not my DM though, no sirree. Planning what you're going to eat is for the bourgeois, apparently, and a typical day's menu goes like:

Wake and graze until lunchtime: several packets of cheddars, banana, twix, whatever's there and available.
Lunchtime - I'm not hungry, I won't bother eating. No shit
Mid-afternoon - a fusion lunch, e.g. a plate of salmon, satsuma and branston's pickle
Dinner - Stew/chilli or other one pot meal featuring mince or chicken, sometimes both. To be made on the weekend, and left on the hob all the week to be reheated as necessary. Waste of time putting it in the fridge, and of course mince/chicken can be reheated countless times.
Evening - more grazing on anything. And complaints of indigestion .
NB. Veg and salad are the devil's own foodstuffs and won't feature.

Oh the newspaper clippings! DMIL insists on giving us half a dozen vrerytime we visit, always about our company or industry (we both work for a large multinational which is based in her home town). Never mind that we will have already had internal notification about the order/scandal/whatever several days/weeks prior to the visit. "I thought you'd be interested..."

And my DPs do the teabag collection on a saucer thing - the compost box is about equidistant from the kettle but they still collect half a dozen before putting them in the box.

My mum gave me an interesting article on pregnancy obesity when I was pregnant -and fairly obese-
Pil arrive here after their 3 hour journey with a cool box which has housed food for journey.
Fil is restless about 2 hrs before mealtimes and eventually asks what we are doing about lunch/dinner.
Breakfast begins as soon as they get up starting with cereal. Then more tea before the toast course. On a weekend here this can go on until around 11.30 after which there will be a discussion about lunch. I have to leave the room as my irritation is palpable.
On a Sunday I often cook a roast and desert around two.
They then sit there all afternoon despite around 5 me starting to get kids ready for bed and start packed lunch etc. I usually do dds boiled eggs or something. Stil they sit. Dh once asked when they were thinking of going and mil replied "after dinner" I can never understand why they don't go around mid afternoon so they can get back and have tea and get ready for work on Monday.

Love this thread! My FIL is pretty anal (MIL is really laid back), he gets all irritated if boxes of cereal aren't opened and closed the correct way, thinks everyone should do everything his way, never chucks anything away, loves spreadsheets and him and MIL buy all the reduced crap in Tesco just because its reduced and then keep it the fridge for a month. DH complains that there's always a fridge full of food but nothing to eat. They are both lovely people though.
My parents are both nutters, mother is very controlling and abusive, my dad is simply bonkers, he's eats the same meals every day. Breakfast is ALWAYS weetabix and marmalade on toast, dinner is always cheese on toast with a gherkin and tea is always some bit of meat that's been cooked all day with some mushy veg. He once made "spaghetti bolognese" which was mince, onion and swede with a jar of value pasta sauce cooked in a casserole dish for five hours and served with pasta shells.
He train spots and has a room devoted to trains with a model railway, train books and his own tv and dvd player for the purpose of watching his dvd's of his trainspotting holidays. He can't go anywhere without doing a bit of trainspotting, as a child he used to take us to buy our birthday present on our birthday, we'd leave at 7.30am to get to town before the shops opened and be forced to stand on a platform while he photographed trains for an hour, go to one shop and then spend another hour on the platform before going home.
He always wears sandals in the house and his boots are always the exact same, when one pair wears out he buys another the same, he has done this my entire life at least (25 yrs)
My uncle (his brother) is even worse, he's never left home though his parents are both dead now. He's made several trapdoors in his loft incase there's a fire and he gets stuck in there, he's turned his van into an observatory and prior to that he had a double mattress in the back of it so he could shag his girlfriend (who's in her 70's) as he didn't want to do it in his parents house.

My step dad jsut encourages her though - my mother in her incessant phone ringing and panicking.
If he would just say "no I am not texting or ringing thier mobile they are.OUT".

Then there's the hospital thing. Never under any circumstances tell my mum that one of us is ill - even with a cold. You can be assured that she knows best and it will in fact be life threatning ebola or similar, which ha sdecided to disguise itself as a cold to invade and kill off her family. Likewise, hopsital appointmenet, never eve r tell her otherwise we get similar situations as in my earlier post

"oh my goodness why didn't you answer the phone your appointment was at 10.30, its now 10.45 I thought you'd be out now, is it serious, are you sure, have the docotrs given you a second opinion, what do you mean no, you cannot really be going to accept the fidnings of one doctor what does she know she could be an escaped mental patient disguised a sa doctor she might not have a clue or she could be one of those fetish perverts praying on people, I really think you should go back in ask to see another doctor"

that is a conversation I ahd with her recently after accidentally letting slip I had an appointment to see about a small growth on my back

I love my ILs dearly and they have their funny little ways. They are quite laid back mostly, although FIL will only eat ham sandwiches at lunch time.

However, they own a little place at the seaside where they have been going on holiday for years. When they are there they go to the same cafe every morning for tea and toast. One year we went along with SIL and her family, so there were ten of us. At their favourite morning cafe, despite there being a ginormous table available at which we would all have been able to sit, they insisted on us all cramming round a table for five 'because that's where we always sit'. This happened every morning.

Talking about not throwing things away...

After my dad died my mum found, among the piles of used tissues he'd accumulated over the years, in a medical jar, his tsticls! ()Removed during cancer treatment.)

Do I win?