Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

[ledkr]

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

[Chottie]

Just bumping this up for anyone needing some light hearted reading :)

[Flippyferloppy]

In DH's family, the men pour the wine and the women pour soft drinks. I unwittingly committed a huge faux-pas by pouring wine myself, rather than asking a man to do it. This, despite the fact that I have been professionally trained.

When DH's son comes round, DH will invariably get him to pour the wine rather than me. He will then invariably complain once he has gone about the fact that he just sloshes it into glasses, mixing the sediment etc. Again, I am professionally trained and could do it, but no (this only applies when we have company).

No idea why really. DH is pretty egalitarian, does more housework than me, does all the ironing. We don't have men and women's jobs, except for this. He can't explain himself

[GabsAlot]

what a great classic thread really enjoyed it

my mil used to stand with her coat on for half an hour before we went anywhere-i used to say we're not off yet-i know she said but just stood there in her coat tutting that noone was ready

[TurquoiseDragon]

Such a great read.

My late MIL had a place for everything, and everything in it's place.

She had her tiny dictionary, pencil and rubber all neatly laid up in a row on a cupboard shelf when she wasn't doing the crossword.

[PerspicaciousGreen]

Oh my goodness, what a wonderful thread.

Everything, for my parents, is "a bit complicated". Yes, that's because they MAKE it complicated by having to plan every second of the day, every bite eaten, every mile travelled, and make about nine thousand contingency plans in case of X, Y or Z. Life has moved on now - shops are always open, you've always got your mobile, Google exists. But deciding to "play it by ear" is akin to suggesting a family game of Russian roulette.

We've booked a self-catering cottage for later in the year and my parents started to worry about what we'd do about eating. "Ooh, if we're only allowed in at 5pm it's a bit late for the shops but we won't be able to carry stuff with all our luggage..."
Me: "We'll do a Tesco order for the evening we arrived. Bring enough to give DCs their dinner then it can arrive in time for us to cook ours."
DPs: "Ooh, sounds a bit risky... what if they turn up early before we arrive?"
Me: "They're not allowed to just do that, or if they do they have to com back within your time slot if you ask."
DPs: "True, but they might be late..."
Me: "Then we'll either nip to the local shops or get a takeaway."
DPs: "What if there's a substitution in the order?"
Me:

They get an Ocado order every week. They're both retired. They're always in all afternoon but it's like the world ends if Mr Ocado is five seconds outside the timeslot or even turns up towards the latter half of the timeslot!

They will also never just ring up a company about anything but will fret over it for days. Once we were on a train home from my grandmother's when it broke down and they realised they'd be late for the Ocado order. (Are you sensing a theme?!) They fretted over it and decided they'd just have to not have any shopping that week and go to Sainsbury's on the high street tomorrow.

At this point I snapped, rang Ocado up, and pushed the delivery slot back two hours. No problem. But they were totally amazed that they could do that. They'll never ask anything unless they know the answer already, whereas I think it's literally the helpline's job to try and help me.

Phew, that was cathartic!

[PerspicaciousGreen]

My mother also expects me to remember what time she gets up and goes to bed and never EVER text, emails or WhatsApp her while she's supposed to be in bed because her phone is next to her bed and when it dings it wakes her up.

I have suggested that she put it on silent. No, because I or my brother might ring her in an emergency. (They also have a landline, one of the phones of which is next to her bed.) Also, we've both grown up and left home. I think we ought to be able to figure out a plan that isn't "Ring Mum's mobile at 2am".

I have suggested that most phones these days have custom silent settings - e.g. to silence some dings at some times and not others. She's sure hers doesn't. Shall I check? I don't want you to fiddle with the settings, you might break it. I could Google it if you tell me the model of your phone? It sounds a bit complicated.

So instead every few months I get snotty messages back about her having been woken at the crack of dawn because I sent her a fundamentally asynchronous communication at the wrong time. Which is often the only time I can conveniently do it when not drowning under children. So have therefore cut right back on that sort of thing because I CBA to check and remember the time every time I want to send a cute baby pic. And then I get the snotty messages about how she won't even recognise my DC when she next sees them and would it be so hard to send one little photo?

[Butwasitherdriveway]

This thread is brilliant and knocks my teabag sharing (at least four or five cups) parents into a cocked hat

[Butwasitherdriveway]

@SixFeetUnder

My grandad was horrified one Christmas when he arrived at ours to find we had already unpacked and disposed of most of the packaging for the childrens toys. When I told him I'd cut off most of the tie wraps and binned them as opposed to shredding my fingers by untying them all individually and then straightening them so he could take them home and put them in his tie wrap drawer I thought he might go home before dinner.

🤣🤣

My father also keeps cable ties.

[ceilingsand]

My ex mil couldn't see you at hers without putting a paintbrush or a spade in your hand. Apparently one must keep busy, and not idle.

[bluebluezoo]

georgedawes

Oh and they have a dishwasher but hardly any of their crockery and pans etc go in the dishwasher, so they have the worst of both worlds by doing loads of washing up and running the dishwasher


Oh my mother refuses to use the dishwasher, or leave stuff for us to put in the dishwasher. She washes everything by hand, using multiple sink fulls of hot water. Then whinges when she can’t have a shower as she’s used all the hot water and has to wait for the tank to reheat.

I try explaining, but get “i’m just making myself useful”. No, you’re not. You’re using all the hot water, leaving dripping dishes all over the work tops, and only do the cups and plates leaving the pans so I have to run the dishwasher half full anyway!

I often stack all her washed stuff in anyway, save drying it.

[Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree]

My DF writes the start date inside kitchen rolls to see how long they last for. He also has a measuring jug by the kettle with lines drawn in Sharpie to let you know how much water you should put in the kettle, so you don’t boil more water than you need for a cup of tea.

[PerspicaciousGreen]

@Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree

My DF writes the start date inside kitchen rolls to see how long they last for. He also has a measuring jug by the kettle with lines drawn in Sharpie to let you know how much water you should put in the kettle, so you don’t boil more water than you need for a cup of tea.

Oh no, I have done both of these things! Not kitchen roll, but written the date on things like toiletries so I can figure out how much I use in a year. Not on every bottle, just a kind of spot check to extrapolate from.

And we don't have a measuring jug but I do know how much water to boil for one mug, two mugs and the teapot.

[OldEvilOwl]

I love this thread so much. Here's mine. DM & DSF (Step Father)

DSF is a plumber (retired but still does the odd job). If any of 'us' meaning family want them to answer the phone, we must let the phone ring for 3 rings then hang up, and call back immediately - they will know its one of 'us' not someone trying to get hold of DSF for a plumbing job.
Usually when this happens, the second time I ring its engaged as DM has answered the phone and is trying to ring me back instead of just waiting for me to ring her back. I then have to hang up again, and hope her call comes through or try again to get hold of her. This often involves her leaving me a voicemail saying 'Its me, did you ring me?'
Drives me crazy! and it seems even more crazy now typed it here. They ignore the phone for everyone else but do have an answering machine so they can ignore the messages too

[LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag]

This thread is an absolute joy.

My dad and mum are farmers and also have a large kitchen garden and orchard so they are always well stocked for food. Obviously the farm products are sold but their kitchen garden and orchard products are for personal use and are either eaten or given away. What cannot be eaten or given away is canned, pickled or in some way preserved by my mum for her 'pantry' (a massive room in their barn that could house a family of 4). You could survive the apocalypse with what they have stored.
My dad is another man of a certain age who saves every screw, tiny bit of wood, random sheet of metal, etc. They are carefully labelled and stored in a slightly complicated system that only he and I know and my mum has an inkling of. To be fair to him he is an absolute whizz with a hammer and nail so he does actually use all these things he stores but he has no shame at taking home anything he finds or picking up old screws on the street, he's also been known to stop at building sites to see if they have anything he can take.

My Nonna is another one who's obsessed with 'good drying weather', the thing with Australia is there's a lot of 'good drying weather' but she can't bear to let a potential good drying day go to waste and has been known to strip beds that were only made a day or two earlier just to get them on the line. I think this comes from raising a large family and thus having a lot of washing but really isn't necessary now. She also hates the idea that somebody might want something so whenever you visit she's up and down like a yoyo offering coffee, cake, biscuits, water, a cushion, a blanket, the window open, the window closed, etc, etc. I often threaten to sit on her so she'll sit still and we can have a conversation. Nonna keeps in touch with every relative in Italy too and writes to them all regularly. This is quite handy though cos when we fancy a trip to Italy there's always an aunty or a cousin who can put us up/show us around/recommend a good risotto restaurant/show us where the best coffee is. She's a wonderful woman and getting quite old now so I'll miss her when she's gone.

My birth mother is an absolute law unto herself and has so many foibles and little ways it's hard to keep track of them all. She likes to make food last so will cook a roast on a Sunday then use the meat for meals for days afterwards. This is all fine but she will never use all of it because she's going to use it for her next meal then doesn't. If you look in her fridge there's loads of packets of tiny bits of chicken and beef that wouldn't make even a half decent sandwich. I remember visiting her once when I was a teenager and asking her if I could have the leftovers from last night's dinner for my lunch but was told that she was saving it for an unspecified thing and therefore I must have a sandwich. The leftovers were still there a week later. She likes to buy bread from the bakery and will take it home and carefully slice it into the exact number of slices needed for the week. A random piece of toast is not allowed, if you are hungry after dinner you are allowed one digestive then must wait until breakfast (or sneak some biscuits into the house).
She cannot cope with being single so always has a boyfriend, partner or husband who each come with their own little habits. Currently she has Derek. Derek has a blue badge and refuses to pay for parking. Derek would rather spend a day out constantly moving his car from one spot to another than spend £5 in a car park. Derek also insists on having corn flakes for his breakfast every morning except Sunday when he has a bacon sandwich. He weighs out his corn flakes and milk so he has the exact same amount each day. Derek nearly had a coronary when I offered him pancakes for breakfast when they came to stay. Derek is a keen amateur photographer and always has a little book with his camera equipment. Every photo he takes is logged in the little book with the time, location, light quality and loads of other little details. When he develops his photos all these details are noted down on the back. Looking at Derek's photos includes a running commentary about the minutae of each shot.
The worst by far though was Geoff who also carried a little book with him but his was because he'd compiled a list of every bowel movement he'd had for about 40 years with details of consistency, smell, colour and anything else "noteworthy". At some point Geoff had bought a computer and had put all his data into a spreadsheet, when I met him I was asked to look at the computer because it was very slow and didn't do what he wanted it to. I told him it was because it was incredibly old and needed replacing but Geoff couldn't do that because that's where all his data was stored and he didn't know how to save it to a disc.

[GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal]

Having been awake since 5am, I've been trawling Classics for entertainment and chuckling along at all the looney parents and in-laws on this thread...before suddenly realising that I now have a special pillow that I can't sleep without it.

The special pillow has a special pillow case, and both come with me everywhere. I took it to our holiday cottage last month. I'm taking it to the school camp out tonight. The only reason it's not coming to Mallorca with us next month is because it won't fit in the suitcase, but I'm very worried that I'm going to end up with such a sore neck from sleeping on inadequate pillows.

I have a special cup that must be used for coffee, and a different special cup that I have my tea in. Tea must now be made in a pot, not in a mug, but it really bothers me it no one else wants tea because it seems so wasteful to make a whole pot just for me.

I also have a special spoon that I use for eating soft-boiled eggs, but it can only be used for that purpose and no other.

I've become one of them, haven't I?! 😱

[soberfabulous]

I have found my people! Weeping at this thread. My parents came to stay with me for 28 days (yes, count them and weep) earlier this year and they drove me absolutely nuts with their ways.

Having said that, I exhibit some worrying traits from this thread myself:

I wash out sandwich bags and re use them (I thought we had to now with sustainability and all!)
I use a gravy boat every Sunday with the Sunday roast
I have a typed up packing list which is printed out (I would laminate it if I could) to be fair we travel a lot and it's always on me to sort the bulk of it
I can only drink coffee from a china mug

Put a pillow over my face, I'm done 😂

[soberfabulous]

Oh and I also have a special running rail for my work clothes and I sort them all out on a Sunday.

I plan an outfit for every day, and hang underwear and jewelry from each hanger:

As a PP said; I am not in the military 😂

But it save me so much time and in my defense I have a stressful long hours job.

[Bloodyusernamechangefailagain]

🤣

[neilyoungismyhero]

@Eskarina

My parents sound relatively normal compared to most of these stories BUT good grief the shower squeegee thing. Dad has an electric Kärcher thing that sucks the water off the wall. He's told me about it 90 million times. We should get one apparently. We were even treated to a demonstration when we went up at Xmas. Twice. When baby dd put sticky fingerprints on the patio doors it was an occasion of joy because dad had an excise to use the electric squeegee thing.
They've seen one on offer not as good as the offer they got theirs on and keep asking me If I want them to put in an order so we can have one too!

Oh God, that made me laugh and squirm.....I have the same item and am always advising my daughters about the merits of it, to be fair I've yet to demonstrate...although she is popping round in the week...........hmmmmm

[Vapeyvapevape]

I love this thread ! It's arrangements that are so weird with my parents, any arrangement we make is so complicated.
My sister takes my parents for tea and cake in a cafe at a local park every Wednesday. I live about an hour away from them.
Last Wednesday I had an unexpected day off and suggested I join them . Omg , the hooha that this caused! My mum didn't want me to drive so far because she was sure I was tired (I wasn't) , a big discussion took place about whether I went to my sisters or theirs first (couldn't go to theirs as they didn't have enough milk ) . I said I would meet them at the cafe , another big discussion about what time and what if I got stuck in traffic and the biggest problem about me going was mum and dad share a slice of cake and one slice might not stretch to three of us sharing! I said I would have a slice to myself (like my sister does) but mum was worried I wouldn't be able to manage a whole slice and did I want her to phone the cafe and ask if they would do me a smaller portion.
I love them dearly but they drive me nuts!

[Ledkr]

Gosh this just came up and it's one of my old threads.
Dd is now 20 and we still cackle at us sat in the wimpey stuffing our faces.
They are still the same BTW.

[EspressoPatronumm]

@Ledkr I loved the image of you eating in a wimpy terrified of being caught 😂 hope you had a plate..