Why the Friggity Frig <GLARES> didn't anyone, not one of you, think

[Honeydragon]

to tell me what a piece of piss Chicken and Sweetcorn soup is to make! It takes 5 minutes and costs fuck all. I have being buying this stuff you know? With ACTUAL money.

One idle google and 10 minutes later dd and I have a pan full for lunch, it's lovely.

It was bad enough finding out about cleaning washing machines, and Veet to unclog hairy plug holes.... and now you failed to tell me this

Well you horrible lot, what else have you being holding out on, and keeping from me?????

I've spent all ruddy day cleaning the oven . Dishwash tablet soaked tea towel on door , pretty darn useless actually ( shows how cooked on the grime was ! ) so resorted to spray can of chemicals on warm oven . Smoke and fumes and results !
It did take most of the day , so someone doing it all properly for £30 sounds like a good idea !

HA! Washing machine maintained successfully and DH said he knewyou had to put a boil wash on to clean it but he thought that putting the towels in on a boil wash was sufficient. So I told him I knew better thanks to MN. He wants me to spend more time on MN because it makes me clean! Result! The extra time on MN obvs, not the cleaning!

So.... now you're going to want MN to come up with lots of virtuous seeming tasks, to impress your DH, which take no actual effort at all?

Anyone got any ideas to con the poor sap

I hope the dodgy oven clean man doesn't have to take my oven out to the van cos its built in!
I can't wait to cook in an oven that doesnt emit clouds of black smoke is clean tomorrow :)

Don't worry, I will keep you up to date on my oven cleaning man tomorrow!

I didn't know about the banana trick.I asked DH and he looked at me like I was insane and told me that monkeys open bananas that way,and he can't believe I didn't know.I then realised that I've known him nearly 20 years and never seen him eat a banana,so God knows how he knows about the right way to open one.

Am wishing I didn't have to work tomorrow,so I could clean my oven.

Descale the kettle, takes no effort at all but looks really good!
The descaling stuff cost £2.99 for 3 sachets, boil the kettle, open and add sachet, 3 mins later sparkling clean kettle :)

LackaDAISY - snap to condensor dryer maintenance (tank, filter, condensor) if there is anything else I don't want to know - and I think I have the twin to your slime monster, and I never use fabric conditioner either. I am ignoring it until it either goes away or evolves to the point that it speaks to me. If it does that then it can make itself useful and baby cat-sit.

They sometimes take your shelves and stuff out to the van to soak in magic stuff and then come back and defeat your oven with chemicals and will power till it looks new and shiny

Kettle descaling sounds like a good plan. Any other top tips for no effort quick housecleaning tasks that look like they've been lots of faff to do?!

They can take it wherever they like as long as its clean and shiny when I get home from work tomorrow :)

I feel they may need very strong chemicals to achieve this tho, the website said it will be in "almost showroom condition"
I'd settle for no smoke pouring out when I turn it on!

We used the Ovenu man to clean our oven and it was crazy clean when he'd finished. He left the oven in the kitchen but took all the racks out to his van. Even took the oven door off and the fan cover at the back. Well worth every penny. I'm far too lazy busy and important to spend 3.5 hrs cleaning my oven. (also this is how long it took him with his scary chemicals. Would have taken me at least a day and it would still be caked in shite)

I can't wait!!

It would take me 3 days to clean all the grease and burnt shite off my oven
I have decided all the jobs I am too lazy busy to do will be outsourced from now on :)

I am going to just book the ovenu man without mentioning it to DH. If he has a problem I will gladly pay for it out of my savings that I saved for £800 of Olympics tickets and then didn't bloody get any. Not that I'm bitter. Might as well spend it on something useful. In fact I'd almost gladly give up an Olympics ticket to have someone else clean that thing.

I booked mine without mentioning to DH. As he was about to go to bed, I said "oh by the way, I booked an oven cleaner, he's coming at 7:30 tomorrow, it was only £30 as well. Goodnight love"
He looked at me and said "who is the oven cleaner man and why are we paying him" I told him that he could be the oven cleaner man for free if he wanted and he replied, oh yeah, good idea, £30 is quite cheap as well. Goodnight then

Tell your DH he is more than welcome to clean the oven for free, he will love the mobile oven cleaner then

just so that I can find the banana penguin instructions again. I had already done the MN banana pinching method and eaten half the banana (that I did not actually want) so could not do it tonight.

Cracking thread. I am learning LOADS.

Lacka, i couldnt find it either and now im deperate! Someone please link?

Like tantrums said, i feel it cant be as bad as im picturing!

I've just tried to find it and it's not on the vagine thread. I have remembered that lissielou started a follow on thread which was something about a safe place to be rude or disgusting or something like that. It was in chat so it may have gone. Sorry.

For all us the slatterns out there looking for a cleaning tip that looks like you've been at it for hours but took 5mins, I give you The MAGIC Eraser .
It really is truly magic, my life is empty without one and I get twitchy when there isn't one in the cupboard
Greasy hob/oven door/extractor fan? 2mins with this and it'll be sparkling, grimy bath? Scuffs on floor? CRAYON on walls when the dc's have been left to fend for themselves whilst I mn? All cured with the magic eraser. I even clean my log burner window with it too, and no catchy bits like the ecloth which make my teeth itch.
You can get the jml version from anywhere that does jml but Aldi do their own for half the price but they don't always have them in.
Try it. I beg you. It will change your life forever, I promise.

I love the Aldi ones. They're fab. I buy loads when they have them in. :)

Oh, and this could be a similar image to the link you are all looking for. I discovered I have an actual phobia thanks to mn, trypophobia- the fear of holes/clusters of holes. Bloody mn.
Do not click if you are a sensitive sort. Please.

By the way guys - and I swear this is true - a couple of days ago I opened my fridge to get out a loaf of bread and a lizard fell out. It did make me jump. I thought it was dead but DH thought it was 'just cold'. He put it outside. I don't know if it recovered or not.

We get lots of house lizards here (South East Asia), and usually I don't mind them, but I'm a bit squeamish when they're around food and worktops etc. I once took a packet of biscuits out of a cupboard and there was a (dead) lizard curled up on the top biscuit. That was a bit yuk. I keep all food in containers now. I thought the fridge was safe though...

It's similar Birnamwood.

Ewwww. Lizards.

Why, why, why do I click on all the links? I may never recover.
Birnam - bleh!

I didn't click it.....I'm so tempted...
No I am going to do some work and stay off this thread until this horrible thing disappears :(

Tenner says Tantrums clicks it.