Thickos on TripAdvisor

[bupcakesandcunting]

I usually check reviews about places on Trip Advisor before booking a holiday. I've been having a snoop round this morning for a holiday and went onto Trip Advisor to read the reviews and honestly, some of them look like they've been written by a bear mashing his paws into the keyboard and hitting "send"...

AIBU to disregard reviews by people who moan that "nobode understand ENGLISH" "no chips/salad just greek food" "wayter rude" or should I be giving them the same attention as the others?

This thread is wonderful. I confess we do use Tripadvisor a lot, but we do take it with a pinch of salt.

The questions I had in response to my review of our hol in Cuba were funny - mostly Canadians asking questions about things already mentioned in the review.

Penguins in Galapagos are smaller than many other breeds. They looked lovely to us. But okay I can see that some might prefer to see larger penguins. But really what did they expect, the absolutely excellent holiday company to do? We just made jokes about it for days e.g. the holiday company should really be stretching the penguins using a rack.

Don't mention the....

"my parents, both in their 70s, were booked via telextext into this hotel. At the time of their stay they were the only british people. They were not told that this was a German hotel when they booked.

For the first 4 days they ate nothing at all. They complained to the restaurant manager and the hotel manager about the food. There was no toaster and all the bread was german. All the food was for the german clientele. Luckily there were quite a few bars and restaurants locally that they could eat at, but that is not really the point, they paid all inclusive and clearly were not catered for.

The room was basic, with additional charges for everything. The pool area was small, with a small self service bar for the all inclusive for beer and wine. On the afternoon there was coffee and cake, that is if you could get anywhere near, as just like the sunbeds, the germans had to push in and be first.."

^Crete again -reviewed by Stan Boardman-

You know Benidorm, the TV show. There are people out there who think it's a documentary.

If you want a real laugh go and look at the Disneyland Paris reviews!

I always contribute to TA but I find most of it to be utter bollocks.

I guess "piste de resistance" is a particularly difficult black ski run.

This thread is so funny.

These two about the same hotel in Spain.

"We were the only english family in the hotel. We were a little uncomfortable at times due to being starred at a lot. maybe that was due to your hands dragging along the floor. Entertainment practically non excistent, but the aerobics teacher was pretty. However if you wanted to speak English you had to walk about a mile to the other side of the bay."

"Not for the English. It was all Spanish, even the food was Spanish. We were offered to move but would av 2 pay 350 pounds which i thought was a joke. If the food had been warm and the english catered for then it would av been great."

I'm loving 'but she new all right' and 'Think you might call them the bay lifts'

Classic!

Majorca here I come:

"Stayed in ve magalluf park may 04 on a hen weekend. Found dat ve hotel was busy but not packed, staff were friendly even wen we came bk singin at 5.30am lol Love ve food nice range to suit every1 n ve rooms were reasonable. dis place has entertainment which was enjoyable to watch n join in uresleves. Will be goin dere nxt yr!"

Roffle!

Have sent a link to this thread to DH, he loves the idiotic reviews on Tripadvisor!!

A hotel in Morocco from a reviewer in Liverpool:

it ok got 2 b up early if u want a sunbed.food ok always sumtin 2 eat room clean maid calls everyday theam resturants gud moroccan the best try them but book early sittin an if not 2 your likin u can go buffet.

"kavos shud b called chavos is dirty smelly rundown rubbish restaurants n full of young teenagers goin mental n breaking bones oh n if u meet a barman at the agnes called spiros stay clear of him he is rude arrogant n thinks he is gods gift n loves swearing plus your ears bleed with his poor mixing of music but it is a rare treat lol n u will b charged for sunbeds even though ur a resident if ur young n its your first time away u will prob love it but if ur over 25 avoid this place like the plague but if u lyk clubbing n getting off your face then go for it but I won't b ever goin back again once is enough now to book a proper holiday. "

Written by an absolute charmer:

"stayed with groud of 23 lads...the air con was so poor you were constantly hot you could not rest easily. i have stayed in much better hotels in magaluf for groups . i ill never stay at the honolulu again...(Lucky them) THEY DONT PLAY MUSIC AROUND THE POOL.

Black prostitutes block the enrance at the bottom of the hotel and try to touch you up and pick pocket you for your phone and money, i was lucky beacause im quite a big lad i just threatned them"

'Dirty, neglected, old and very expensive... I'd sleep for 3 nights with a old sock under my bed. I've no words!!!! The last time in my life here!!!'

One Review of the Hotel Colon

The reply from owner

Hotel Colon Palma has renewed them installations and we are waiting for you again in the Hotel ., Pretty new , Thanks for your comments but they are too old , tings changed absolutelly and thanks comments as yours we could make the Hotel Colon one of the favourites Hotels in the city now

I read a really funny one which was extremely long: Basically the guy gave a terrible review for a hotel where he wasn't staying but just sitting in the lobby filching their free wi-fi! He wrote a very long rant about the awful treatment he received when the hotel manager threw him out, quite reasonably pointing out that the facilities were for the use of hotel guests only

@ Portofino

"...if u meet a barman at the agnes called spiros stay clear of him he is rude arrogant n thinks he is gods gift n loves swearing plus your ears bleed with his poor mixing of music..."

Hahahahaha !

I think that the "humans" are perhaps literal German translation of "Menschlich" - to call someone Menschlich is to say down to earth, pleasant, nice.

Or maybe you were on TripZombieAdvisor by mistake?

Oh my fucking god!!! I do believe I have stayed in that hotel NunOnTheRun (10:46)! Just over 20 years ago but exactly the same things as we were saying.

"Bay lifts"

I use tripadvisor alot and love those types of reviews. Agree on Disneyland Paris - not sure what people expect from a hotel with 1000 rooms in a place aimed at children. A civilised breakfast? No children in the corridors?

I am outraged.

I posted a factual, beautifully written yet horrific account of my mum and grandma's endurance test at the Royal hotel, Tyndrum (the Tyndrum Two) and they pulled it within 24 hours.

ensure - that is fab fab fab

and Porto's: the feeling is the same as it would be if you accidentally shot a dog and ended it's life.

Oh we've all felt that..

I remember that, tethers

Black prostitutes block the enrance at the bottom of the hotel and try to touch you up and pick pocket you for your phone and money, i was lucky beacause im quite a big lad i just threatned them

dillie's mates

"i am in shock that any person can have a complaint with this hotel. its class. spottless beer on tap great for kids 3 pools no noise. 10 mins to san antonia bay. 3 euro for bus from airport. its beggers belief that people complain. i have stayed in a lot of hotels world wide and this is without a doubt 3 star should be 4. its like a holiday village. the staff just smile smile and smile.. me and my wife said lets think of one bad fault and we caught not think of a single thing. the bar man with hard hearing is superb and the lovely ladys in the dinner hall. as for people moaning about waiting on drink what a lot of lies. theres 3 bars and a help your self beer and wine on tap. 10/10"

Beer on tap for kids? Book me up.

Obviously some people are impossible to please!

"Dont get me wrong. i LOVE luxery hotels and god knows i am willing to pay for luxery. having said that, Paris GEORGE V trully delivers, but somehow, belive it or not, i cheked out a bit depressed.

now why would someone that just stayed in the most beautiful property, given the most exellent service and slept in the most beautiful room on a fantastic bed have mixed feelings about anything in this world? well, to have feelings is a human thing, and this is the one thing this hotel lacks of: humaneness.

this is NOT a class act. This is more like a well designed and extreemly well orchestrated ripp off. they know that what you really want , what you secretly dream of is to be treated like royalty so they give it to you, but they do it in a very cynical way"

the bar man with hard hearing is superb