I'm quite sure I've just done something mad...

[lostinwails]

TMI alert! Have had a very bad tummy bug and am left in a position where venturing more that 30 seconds from the loo would be a foolish risk. I've decided that the water I'm drinking is passing through my body at great speed so in a rash moment I've swallowed a round piece of floaty plastic to time how long it takes to come out. I'm mad aren't I, too long on the sofa with only flat lemonade and salty crisps for company I think.

loopy I rather think wails and wales are one and the same

Oh thanks jenai

Oh no Jareth - it's not a good idea to take Imodium if you have a bug, better to let it all out, as it were. Only take imodium if you absolutely have to be somewhere away from a loo.

Any news OP. dh will be home soon and then we're off tomorrow for a long weekend, I can't leave the thread without closure!

is it out yet??

re beetroot, i once ate a very large one in the interests of seeing what colour it turned my, erm, outgoings but nothing happened at all :(

apparently it is like asparagus - some people it happens to and some it doesn't. ah well...

This is like a labour thread of sorts.

PUSH!!!!!!!!!!

:o

Oh yes = now transferred to classics

Not out yet?
Things must be getting tense now!

What's with all the imposters??

Lostinwails, for heaven's sake, get a move on, the school run is nearly upon us.

thumbwheel - really? yikes. I would have never left the loo last time I had a particularly nasty bug if I hadn't slowed things down with a dose of imodium [oversharing ]

OMG classics! Peels herself of floor and tries to see the screen through tears of laughter. This was supposed to be a mildly diverting hours entertainment and now I am a certified loon for all time. Ah well I suppose it was about time MN got to know the real me.

Although I have to say this is the best day I've ever had whilst feeling so utterly crap, I wonder if I dare tell DH? I can share this with an internet full of strangers but I don't know if I'm up to telling him I purposefully ate a piece of red lego to see if my suspicions about how fast water was travelling through me were correct. Except all the water has come out and the lego hasn't. This may be the final straw, hopefully his science head will prevail.

Yikes, school run may be literal, wish me luck.

'Mummy why is there a piece of red lego stuck to your shoe with mud....'

Good luck - though in the circumstances I can't help feeling wellies might have been better than shoes ...

You know what - I'm going to try (really hard) to erase that picture of poo encrusted red lego from my mind

Hurray up, pick up les enfants, and have another try. We want that lego out by dinnertime please.

DH thinks you must be cured and it might never come out!

I've heard of shitting bricks, but this is ridiculous...

haha LostinWalesails you made MN classics - I will always have a huuge on my face when I see you posting on my FB wall from now on

Any news?

op congratulations on a wonderful thread (and I hope you feel better soon).

to get sparkly poo you need to make sure that the glitter is the edible (ie non-toxic) but not digestible sort - most cake shops make a fairly clear distinction. The digestible sort is rubbish anyway, not really all that glittery.

Has there been a passing yet?

hope the school run went erm well and wasn't too runny...

No news yet then OP? I have been thinking of you all afternoon.

I bought the edible glitter thinking that edible = digestable. Wrong. Edible just means non toxic I suppose.

I made similar Christmas cakes for friends, family and dd1's teachers - no-one else reported any aftereffects. I suppose sparkly poo is the sort of thing one usually discusses in RL.

OP

OP's Bottom

A song for you

When your stomach really hurts,
and you know that it?s the squirts:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When your stomach starts a rollin'
and you're cleaning out your colon:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When you're on the seat for hours
and it doesn't smell like flowers:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When the feeling's not that nice
and you have to flush it twice:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When you're miles from anywhere,
and your bowels just don't care:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When you're walking like C3PO
and your shit looks like radicchio
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea

When you're walkin down the hall,
and you feel something fall:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When you think your friends are joking
but your legs are brown and soaking:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

When you're rectally obsessed
and shit splatters on your chest:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

Now you think you're feeling better
but you keep on getting wetter:
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea.

Then your mind begins to linger,
Wrongly saying "Pull my finger"
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea