If it was MNers, not MINers, stuck underground...

[Eleison]

Style and Beauty: Does this capsule make me look frumpy?

Childbirth: If I'm not out in 48 hours, will I have to be induced?

Relationships: DP keeps messaging me from the surface to say that he can see himself on telly. Is he narcissistic?

Good Housekeeping: Can't be bothered to shift rubble from tunnel entrance. Am I a slattern?

(etc. ...)

That is true. We'd just have to add a pigs head on a stick, then, from the pets topic.