Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
HippyHippopotamus · 12/11/2010 10:53

i'm amazed nobody's commented on how he went home in his socks!! why didn't he want to put his shoes back on?! ooh, maybe he's got a foot fetish!

SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 10:55

Blather you might be right.

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 12/11/2010 10:58

Ah good news, cannot be my pair of nutters, as he does not work! Shame really. Perhaps we could introduce my nutters to your nutters?

Eglu · 12/11/2010 11:20

This thread is absolutely hilarious, and well deserving of it's place in classics.

Did you do the tiara though?

ToniSoprano · 12/11/2010 11:30

Have just had to sit at my desk between colleagues, trying not to let them see me snorting/crying, actually weeping/shoulders shaking.

Oh, God. Your husband's contribution was absolutely priceless!

The silences and abrupt endings to conversation about umbrellas are brilliantly odd.

And the fact that the cuckoo clock went off and no one remarked on it! Love it!

Also loved the answer to why they've got heaps of turps - Oh we've got heaps of everything - hilarious!

I should think you just about wet yourself when your DH came out with that absolute classic line 'Pom Bear Anyone?' WHAT A TOTAL HERO - and especially after him warning you beforehand to behave yourself!

Did you play any Demis Roussos? And yes it is, as we all know, Demis and not as some wag suggested Denis/Dennis!

Bloody marvellous! Have enjoyed so much, has cheered up dull working week.

Miggsie · 12/11/2010 11:45

They wrapped a single cherry to take home for the dog...

They have £50 bottles of wine but no cherries?!!!!!

The mind boggles.

I wonder if the husband sucks his thumb in bed and still has his childhood teddy bear?

The morbid fear of umbrellas is really fascinating...oh, for a really top notch psychiatrist!!!!!!!

greygirl · 12/11/2010 11:49

fab thread. i will smile all day at work now. (if this is a troll thread it counts as a work of art)

starfishmummy · 12/11/2010 12:16

I have spent all morning reading this thread from the start. I now have an overwhelming urge to go and buy a packet of pom bears for lunch. .

SweetnessAndShite · 12/11/2010 12:16

Wonderful! I wish my RL was this exciting Smile

PhishFoodAddiction · 12/11/2010 12:29

Hilarious, thank you for the update!

Am very curious as to what Mr B doesn't like about umbrellas though...

'Pom bear anyone?' made me Grin.

Are you going to invite them round again?!

RustyBear · 12/11/2010 12:31

I should never have started to read this thread in bed at 7 o'clock this morning - almost late for work...

MUHAHAHADascheese · 12/11/2010 12:35

How fabulous!

They sound an utter blast, and fantastically bonkers.

You definately need to go away with them for the weekend.

Horton · 12/11/2010 13:42

Fantastic. Really enjoyed the update, thank you! And your DH offering the pom bears made me laugh and laugh.

Gay40 · 12/11/2010 13:49

I would pay seriously good money to attend the next dinner party.

DaftApeth · 12/11/2010 13:49

Fantastic work, SlightlyJaded Grin

If you get invited to theirs for dinner again, you should take them a jar of glace cherries Wink

Jux · 12/11/2010 14:07

You must keep up the friendship; they are wonderful!

simonedeboudoir · 12/11/2010 14:26

Slightlyjaded as it's clearly your turn next to host, perhaps you might consider inviting us all to come and meet the bonkers people hiring some external caterers? I'm a dab hand with a cheese and pineapple hedgehog. And quite relaxed about having my bottom pinched

simonedeboudoir · 12/11/2010 14:30

Oops ignore that Blush of course it's their turn. I have been paying attention, honest Blush

Longstocking2 · 12/11/2010 15:01

I agree with all sides of this, it would surprise me if a couple like that didn't Jamie Oliver it up a tiny bit.

But re Baxters, my sister gave me a bowl of this fab Baxters roast tomato and parmesan....

and it was delicious! Yummier than most homemade soups in me umble opinion. But you don't serve tinned soup to guests you don't know at all well. Not enough effort. Covent Gdn soup is ok though because it is good but home made is better!

We have posh mates who only ever serve us roast vegetable pasta with parmesan and never enough for dh. He's always ravenous when we go so now we eat before we go and after too!!
Grin
I always make a massive effort when they come to us, full on fish pie and home made lovely pud awash with cream etc etc. But she is bored by cooking so you take what you're given.

diddl · 12/11/2010 15:06

I have only just found this & omg it is hilarious!

They sound abfab & jolly super!

"Chopsy doesn´t do fungus"

I can hardly type through shaking so much with laughing.

Oh I wish I could write a book just to give it that title.

Longstocking2 · 12/11/2010 15:10

bum-pinching never ever acceptable though ever.

Ivegotmrbitey · 12/11/2010 15:11

OP I think I love you and your husband, please open a guest house!

mollyroger · 12/11/2010 15:38

ab fab thread which now leaves me with a bit of a crush on Mr and Mrs Slightlyjaded. You sound like a hoot!

happybubblebrain · 12/11/2010 16:00

I think I love them.

Hullygully · 12/11/2010 16:24

Jolly good show. Well done.

Swipe left for the next trending thread