Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
DomesticG0ddess · 12/11/2010 09:48

Slightly, please, please go and stay in the Cornish cottage! Imagine, a whole weekend of antics!

AitchTwoOh · 12/11/2010 09:49

hmm, so how CAN i mention this in the round up? i don't want to get you into trub.

vintageteacups · 12/11/2010 09:52

Will now have to re-do my mascara as it's running down my face having read the glace cherry bit.

Love it!

I usually panick about dinner parties but no longer! I'm just going to go with the flow.

vintageteacups · 12/11/2010 09:52

What if she's a MNetter? There are so many bits she would recognise?

jybay · 12/11/2010 09:53

I wouldn't worry about mentioning chopsy - I'm guessing that the turps made them instantly identifiable to anyone who knows them but I'm afraid that's the price of eccentricity Wink

AitchTwoOh · 12/11/2010 09:55

i have a Cunning Plan.

StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 09:57

What are the main identifying features?

  • turps can become methylated spirits
  • heinz soup --> ena baxter's
  • bum pinch --> lip kiss
  • chopsy --> cheeky chops
  • fungi --> green stuff
  • pom bear --> hula hoop
  • cuckoo clock --> framed picture of THE BAT
  • ice cream with sparkler --> colin the caterpillar cake with candles

They'll never recognise themselves :o

StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 09:58

oooh Aitch do share

AitchTwoOh · 12/11/2010 10:00

i think i'll just use pom bear anyone as a code word. like the french resistance gel in allo allo.

StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 10:04

Hang on a min
HAVE YOU STILL NOT WRITTEN IT YET
You have people relying on you for their weekly entertainment you know!
Or do you mean next week's?

AitchTwoOh · 12/11/2010 10:07

i am doing it right noo. this thread only peaked last night, i must be CURRENT in my news-gathering. you don't want fusty threads, do you?

SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 10:07

Aitch don't worry too much. In all honesty, if they are MNers (which I somehow doubt), I am already utterly outed. And if whomoved really does know them as well, the an outing is imminent.

So do your worst. I would be honoured to make round up - it's only on MN right? (potential of fighting top corporate lawyer in defamation case not very appealing emoticom)

Whomoved - where do your bonkers couple live? (roughly)

Ooo first classics, then a codeword and now maybe roundup. Do I need to get a make-over done?

(thinks celeb status may have gone to her head)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 10:09

No I suppose not, but it's making me nervous...

jybay · 12/11/2010 10:10

It's not defamation - we all think they are fantastic! Smile

SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 10:11

(wonder's if there is a way to get the geographical references deleted)

OP posts:
InGodWeTrust · 12/11/2010 10:14

Well done to you! This was hilarious. Ohhh please go on the trip to Cornwall...you get to see the animals in their natural habits then!

libEL · 12/11/2010 10:18

Have just read entire thread, and ruined my make-up through crying with laughter!

I have come to the conclusion that I would like new friends like Mr and Mrs B Grin

I will no longer be able to see Pom Bears without a fit of hysterics, certainly a classic!

StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 10:20

It is already in classics :)

SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 10:26

If we did get a Pom Bear emoticom, it could be used for filling awkward silences of diffusing aggressive threads, as in:

OP: I only came here for advice on Fruit Shoots and benefits

Poster: But I am paying for you to have a 96" plamsa and 18 kids!!!!

Nice Poster:

This would be the greatest honour of all

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 10:30

OK, starting the campaign

StealthPolarBear · 12/11/2010 10:31

here we go

LifeOfKate · 12/11/2010 10:43

Brilliant, brilliant thread :o

I am in full support of a Pom Bear Anyone? emoticon :)

MackerelOfFact · 12/11/2010 10:45

Fantastic. The Pom Bears killed me. And the irrational hatred of umbrellas. And the cuckoo clock. And the cherries. Brilliant.Grin

Next time they come over, you have to play Rihanna's 'Umbrella' on loop. And serve cocktail umbrellas instead of sparklers in your dessert. And affix some decorative ornamental umbrellas to where the cuckoo clock currently is.

Blatherskite · 12/11/2010 10:51

Surely the Pom Bear emoticon would be for when someone is being totally mental?

AIBU to want to paint my entire house pink?

Grin
SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 10:51

OOOh Rihana Umbrella is genius! Not sure if there will be a next time as all too stressful (although I will have to pick DD up from theirs next week) and I am too cowardly polite to refuse a return invite should one come our way.

To all those who are enjoying this thread, could you please sign StealthPolarBear's campaign for a 'Pom Bear Anyone?' emoticom/smiley. MN will be a richer, happier place for it Grin

sign here

OP posts: