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to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
YohoAhoy · 12/11/2010 16:27

THis is marvellous. I want to go to the next dinner party.

RunAwayWife · 12/11/2010 16:38

ROFL

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 12/11/2010 17:37

I don't know how I missed this thread. SlightlyJaded - you and your dh are both legends, and I would really love to be your best friend please.

[slightly needy emoticon]

getabloodygrip · 12/11/2010 17:46

I know Mr and Mrs B.

At home, he isn't Chopsy. He is Flopsy.

Wink
umf · 12/11/2010 18:05

Thank you OP!! Laughing so much cx may have started. If defamation case, v happy to contribute to defence fund!

But whatever you do, don't go to Cornwall. We're not worth it.

Gay40 · 12/11/2010 18:12

How about you raffle two seats at the next dinner party, raising money for charity and giving two lucky MNetters the experience of a lifetime?

PercyPigPie · 12/11/2010 18:34

I've come to the conclusion that this must be a troll who happens to work on the Pom Bear PR account!

SuePurblybilt · 12/11/2010 18:37

You can get cheesy pom bears now - just to add to the glamour. You may want to bear it in mind....

Obviously the next step is to re-create bonkers dinner party on Come Dine with Me. Lets all apply and whoever gets on does the bum pinch/macaroni special.

FairyFay · 12/11/2010 18:45

PMSL at this thread

Sitdownandstopwhining · 12/11/2010 18:53

Slightlyjaded - Genius. That's all there is for it.

[pombear]Grin

cheekyweebesom · 12/11/2010 19:08

Fantastic work SlightlyJaded (and brilliant DH) - your thread has kept me tickled pink over the past couple of days - can't wait for the next installment! It will be like The Archers, but a bonkers version Grin

Have added my support to the PBE (Pom Bear Emoticon) Campaign!

MrsFlittersnoop · 12/11/2010 19:12

They sound like an adorably eccentric pair! Grin

Reminds me of the sort of Sloany/County first-generation City-types I worked with in the late '80s - v.v. posh and fiendishly intelligent, but sweet and oddly unsophisticated with it. Jilly Cooper-esque sums it up!

The nursery grub and daft pet names are totally par for the course, along with a blithe indifference to middle-class cultural norms!

Deffo worth keeping up the connection IMO, if only for the novelty value. They probably have rellies in crumbling stately homes all over the country - you may never have to pay for a holiday again!

BerryLellow · 12/11/2010 19:29

Fantastic, no idea how I missed this but great to catch up now :o

[pombear] - love it

SeaShellsFiringUpTheQuattro · 12/11/2010 19:30

Absolutely brilliant! Grin only just seen this and been laughing for ages reading through :)

MichaelaS · 12/11/2010 19:45

totally brilliant. don't think my DH will be impressed i'm late home from work because i had to finish reading this thread though!

you are almost inspiring me to do a dinner party of deliberately bad food. Some of my friends are good sports enough to try it.... one year I inflicted my "cheesy sprouts" on them and one of them even liked it! Grin

StrangewaysHereICome · 12/11/2010 19:48

OMG I have never laughed so much at a thread. Read from beginning to end without a break. My ribs are killing me and tears are rolling. DD (5years) looked over my shoulder to see what was funny and now wants to know what "Fuck Christmas" means Shock. But who cares I haven't laughed so much in ages.

I salute you both OP and DH (who must be nominated for an award for his comedy genius)

ChunkyBrewster · 12/11/2010 19:55

Oh god, I keep reading your report SlightlyJaded and laugh and laugh hysterically every time I do. You have a gift. Your postings are a gift.

LoopyLoops · 12/11/2010 20:06

Oh, I love the raffle idea. Or auction. I'd pay.

Only if I can have some of this action too, though.

The3Bears · 12/11/2010 20:10

Grin Just read the whole thread, havent stopped laughing Grin

CrazyPlateLady · 12/11/2010 20:12

"Chopsy doesn't do fungus" PMSL!!!!

I could sooo use this as I am a fussy eater.

Sidge · 12/11/2010 20:15

Fantastic!!

They sound .

Mad as a bag of ferrets, but quite lovely Grin

Amazingscot · 12/11/2010 20:21

Haven't read all the comments but just want to say that it is the last we ask you to dinner SLIGHTLYJADED. AngryAngry

Only kidding. I must read all the thread sometime.
x

SlightlyJaded · 12/11/2010 20:33

Strangely enough, although 'Pom Bear Anyone' was the moment when I really lost the plot and had to leave the room (almost followed by the second outing of the cuckoo), the most unsettling & bonkers moment in RL was actually when Mr B did his 'Oliver Twist'. How I wish I had the words to describe the oddness of a 40 year old banker, barely known to me, in socked feet suddenly putting on a strange little boy face, shuffling towards me with his bowl out 'doe eyed' asking for more ice cream.

The only thing I can think of to compare it to was seeing George Galloway and Rula Lenska in the 'Cat episode' on Sleb Big Brother.

But having had a day to breathe out, I find myself really liking Mr and Mrs B (although I definitely won't be going to Cornwall should a 'real' invitation ever materialise).

Oh and DH is thrilled to bits to be a legend for a day. It has cheered him no end as the Pom Bears were apparantly second choice. He has just told me that he went to the shop in search of Philias Fogg Minion Morceaux because he wanted to say 'Philias Fogg Minion Morceaux anyone?' and was gutted to be told they didn't make them any more.

OP posts:
2rebecca · 12/11/2010 20:38

I love my cuckoo clock!

BatsInTheSnowglobe · 12/11/2010 20:39

They don't make Philias Fogg Minion Morceaux anymore?! Crap

Best thread EVER by the way! Grin