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to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
jybay · 09/11/2010 20:20

If they are barking as you have described, (2) and (6) might be too subtle for them. Even (5) [much as I love the idea - my father had the tape in the car to torture us] might pass them by.

How about total musical schizophrenia- alternating between (1)and (3)?

Jux · 10/11/2010 08:56

I vote for 6, as long as you have it on vynil which has become slightly warped. Perhaps with a scratch or two so it jumps as well as modulates.

Jux · 10/11/2010 08:57

Vinyl sorry Blush

AFEICA · 10/11/2010 15:35

This is the funniest thing I have read EVER!!

StillSquiffy · 10/11/2010 17:27

Whale Music.

StillSquiffy · 10/11/2010 17:28

Whalesong I mean.

And you have to do the 'shopping list' thing

Flowerbomb · 11/11/2010 09:27

Is it tonight? Eagerly awaiting a full report Wink

SkinnyLattePlease · 11/11/2010 09:59

Marking...

FantasticFox · 11/11/2010 10:01

It's tonight?!

Marking! Grin

doings · 11/11/2010 10:03

I'm with Toni - they're swinger types. If he'd have pinched my bottom, I'd have slapped him round the chops and then let's see how long his missus laughs.

Weeeirdos

Miggsie · 11/11/2010 10:04

Get a tape of "waterfall and fountains" from one of those new age places, because that will have them running to the toilet every 30 minutes. Then when one of them returns to the room, stop talking instantly and make them paranoid that you were talking about them.

How about prolonged bouts of unexplained hysterical weeping?

Oh, and keep glancing towards the door throughout the meal.

If they are bonkers they won't notice a thing, if they are compos mentis they'll make an excuse and leave.

Check to see if they take biscuits away in their pockets.

SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 10:05

Yep tonight. Stand by your beds...

It will probably be dull and very ordinary now, but at least the cuckoo clock is guaranteed :)

OP posts:
ForMashGetSmash · 11/11/2010 10:09

Oh I wish I could come! Grin

notasize10yetbutoneday · 11/11/2010 10:10

It speaks volume that this thread and tonight's denoument are quite literally the highlight of my week Grin

What is your final menu SlightlyJaded?

SarahStrattonsSparkler · 11/11/2010 10:13

Oh please do spaghetti hoops on toast. You could rinse the sauce off his and really lay it on thick that you have done so.

doings · 11/11/2010 10:17

Good luck but I have to say I wouldn't have returned the invitation after a bottom pinch - no matter how much DD likes their DD. I'd have been polite when I saw them again but that's it.

jybay · 11/11/2010 10:29

Have had flu this week and this thread has cheered me up no end. Can't wait to hear what happens. Smile

Byblyofyle · 11/11/2010 10:47

bump

SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 11:26

I am still faffing over final menu notasize10 but will almost certainly fail to be very bonkers as I am too pathetically worried about what people think of me, and don't think I have the front to serve up salad jelly however much I want to.

I think I can probably be inappropriate with pudding and thought I might do ridiculously over the top ice-cream sundaes with marshmallows, hot choc sauce, hundreds and thousands, squirty cream,a glacé cherry and a lit sparkler.

jybay glad to have cheered you and I wish you could all be here just sitting silently around the room with notebooks on your laps Grin

OP posts:
janajos · 11/11/2010 12:05

I've marked - this is hilarious.

What about coleslaw with main course? a bit bonkers and retro but you could say it is making a comeback!!

Seabright · 11/11/2010 12:08

What's the cuckoo clock all about? I need an explaination please!

PhishFoodAddiction · 11/11/2010 12:13

Good luck for tonight!

wonderstuff · 11/11/2010 12:18

Brilliant. Wish I could be a fly on the wall.

SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 12:22

Seabright you need to read back for full explanation of the cuckoo clock, but in a nutshell friend has lent it to me to add a touch of 'Je ne Sais Bonkers' to the ambience.

OP posts:
MollysChambers · 11/11/2010 12:28

Good luck! I hope they live up to expectations. You're very nice you know. Last time a bloke pinched my arse I turned round and kicked him in the shins. Very hard.