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to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
simonedeboudoir · 11/11/2010 12:35

Marking.. good luck tonight

Please serve warm ribena and chocolate cigarette sticks after dinner

slowshow · 11/11/2010 12:41

I cannot WAIT for the full report Grin

Horton · 11/11/2010 12:46

Very excited about this! Please can we have live action updates between courses?

Jux · 11/11/2010 12:58

Good luck. I want live updates too.

jybay · 11/11/2010 14:14

Yes, your public demands live updates. Remember, I'm an invalid- my whims must be satisfied or I may never recover Wink.

Dare you to type openly on your laptop in front of them and - if they ask what you are doing - say airily "Oh just updating several hundred people on the internet who want to know how this is going".

ApricotWorms · 11/11/2010 15:45

What time are they due to arrive? Just so I know when to sit down with a glass of turps and some ritz crackers with primula cheese

empirestateofmind · 11/11/2010 16:30

Can't wait to hear how it went.

SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 17:18

7:30 - Set your cuckoo clocks Grin

OP posts:
SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 17:21

I will attempt some 'live coverage' of the evening but will have to take a bit of a view as to how feasible this is...

We can probably have the laptop on in the bedroom and if I can, I will disappear with random excuses as and when there is anything to report.

Or perhaps I will say "do excuse me, I've just got to check the hedgehog' or some such nonsense....

OP posts:
sharbie · 11/11/2010 17:29

ooo just seen this thread again - i am another who will be watching and waiting tonite - good luck

FunkyCherry · 11/11/2010 17:32

You have to ask them about the turps bottles.

And say you're thinking of having your garden landscaped - ask their opinion on pampass grass.

Good luck, you're braver than me.

NotShortImFunSized · 11/11/2010 17:34

Absolutely wetting myself laughing at this, only just seen it, read it all and they are most definitely beyond bonkers Grin

Either that or you are one amazingly talented story maker Wink

Please tell me it's real!

Will be back later to see how it's going....

jybay · 11/11/2010 17:43

If Slightly made up the stuff about the turps, she deserves a publishing deal with a million pound advance!

Theantsgomarching · 11/11/2010 17:46

Why is this not in classics? Hilarious...

Hope it goes really well (in a bonkers way of course) Grin

SlightlyJaded · 11/11/2010 17:56

oooh classics

Right I'm buggering off to the kitchen now and may be some time...

I promise to do my very best to update at some point tonight

OP posts:
Flowerbomb · 11/11/2010 17:59

This is the hightlight of my week - like waiting for the next episode of Mistresses or something like it (obv. don't get out much).

jybay · 11/11/2010 18:05

Right, I have nominated it for classics. No pressure slightly but here's hoping they don't turn out to be totally normal this evening!

vintageteacups · 11/11/2010 18:12

I reckon either they got the night wrong and so cooked what they had in the cupboard and that's why she burst out laughing; didn't say anything as her and her DH had been really worried about it.

Or (b), they were doing it on purpose to wind you up; knowing how wealthy/posh they are.

Or (c) she thought that was acceptable.

Or (d) they were eyeing you up for the swinging thing as everyone else said so the food wasn't really that important.

vintageteacups · 11/11/2010 18:15

Sorry - bit behind on - only read first page!

jybay · 11/11/2010 18:17

vintage, the original post was only the first installment of madness. Read on till you get to the turps.

TragicallyHip · 11/11/2010 18:18

Have just been reading the thread... hilarious!! Grin

Can't wait to hear tonight's instalment. I'm not to far from Kew either..

gettingtogrips · 11/11/2010 18:19

My first bookmark. Good luck.

DomesticG0ddess · 11/11/2010 18:19

ooh, i presume you are inviting them back, i look forward to an update!!

RealityBomb · 11/11/2010 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 11/11/2010 18:23

I've been noseying on watching this thread, so marking my place to see how it goes. Remember to wear a cushion in your pants to thwart Mr Pinchy!