Worst behaviour seen at a wedding. :)

[anyabanya]

... Inspired by a thread in AIBU. (But not a thread about a thread. )

what is the worst behaviour you have seen/witnessed/heard of at a wedding?

A couple I have heard of.... Groom's mother turns up dressed in her own wedding dress and carrying a bouquet.

Another one.... during wedding speeches, Grooms mother gets up and welcomes her DIL into the family by stating 'Remeber. He will never love you as much as he loves me'.

At mine - my MIL pretended to faint after the meal and sat in the toilets fanning her face. She demanded to be put in our bed in the honeymoon suite, made a miraculous recovery when she had enough attention. She then proceeded to get up, put tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt on, and dance the night away. Oh yeah and she joined us on the floor with a next door neighbour for the first dance. All this was to let me know that she would always have the power to make a balls of everything for me. And I haven't been able to look her in the face since and that was 14 months ago.

Not on the scale of these, but I went to a really odd wedding once. Service in a very happy clappy evangelical church went on for TWO HOURS with repeated breaks between speeches for tambourine instrumentals or (v. bad) guitar playing of horrible modern Christian naff songs. When the accordian player strolled to the front, dh had to hold me in my seat to stop me walking out!

Bride was German and for some bizarre reason the happy couple decided this was a really big deal - decorations were Union Jacks and German flags with banners talking about unity and lots of mentions in the speeches about friendships between nations, as if their wedding was finally settling the aftermath of WW2 or something. She's a secretary, he's a cabbie, it's hardly Angela Merkel marrying D Cameron!

Thought it was rather odd that there were bin bags on the back of our chairs at the reception. Got odder when the food was served - fish and ruddy chips on paper plates that we had to shovel into the bin bags ourselves! If I'd known, I would not have risked wearing a silk dress...

No horror stories from me, thank goodness, but I can also verify the "skid mark" story as I was a regular on You & Your Wedding forums before my wedding.

I also recall stories of brides whose MiL's had turned up in floor length white dresses. I seem to recall one who was demanding to walk down the aisle AFTER the bride had made her entrance!

My BF from college got married and I was her bridesmaid. Her parents were a bit broke tight eccentric and we did all the food for the reception ourselves. I was famous for making a mean sherry trifle with fresh fruit and fresh cream, so friend's mum decided I would make this for all the guests. So far so good, until she presented me with several pots of hundreds and thousands and was very insistent that I should use them on top, in spite of my plea for nibbed almonds. I was just waiting for the dream topping to come out...I had a bit of creative hissy fit over that.

They also served homemade wine at the wedding breakfast. Yes, we all sat in a posh function room, toasting the bride and groom in foul homemade wine.

Not quite at the wedding but two friends of mine had chosen as one of their witnesses their then flatmate, who had MH issues and had a bit of an 'episode' the night before the wedding, to the point where the happy couple climbed out of their own bedroom window and fled to another friend's house for the night - Bride said to me 'It was like eloping!'. Flatmate was well enough to attend the wedding the next day, luckily, though not as a witness.

Marking my place, I'm up to
By legspinner Sat 24-Jul-10 03:51:17

I have nothing to rival these but at a friend's reception, a mutual friend who was sat on my table fell asleep and fell off his chair during the speeches. He was stoned.

Was PMSL as "Oh and apparently, I don't really recall who or how, but someone realised that Father did have his dentures in after all. " - tomate have you considered writing a book?

A friend of mine got married...the dress and shoes were delivered and she reverently put them in the wardrobe for the big day...as you do.
Come the big day she opens the zip cover...and it is not the dress she ordered and put away the week before. Her mum had never liked the dress she chose so while her daughter was out she got the dress and shoes swapped for the ones she liked, not the ones the bride chose.

Got to the church and yes, the flowers were now what the bride's mum liked, not what the bride had chosen. You can guess about the cake.

We did not exactly fall over with surprise as the brides mum had ruled months ago that no friends could be invited to the wedding, only family, so the groom got round it by having all his friends as ushers. Only wedding ever where the number of ushers outnumbered the actual guests!!!!!

Another one was when we turned up to a friends wedding, he was the groom. His best mate who was head usher rushed up and said "can you sit between the groom's mum and dad? You know karate don't you?" Groom's mum and dad had very acrimoniously divorced when the groom's dad went off with another woman and started a second family at 45, abandoning his wife and 2 teenage sons.
The groom's mum was very bitter and the groom's brother was at the time starting a nervous breakdown. So we sat there through the ceremony with the grooms mum on one side muttering really bitter stuff and throwing evil glances at dad and second wife on our other side while the brother twitched and groaned. At one point I really thought we would have to break up a fight.

The bride came down the aisle pissed and fell over her dog, which she was having beside her instead of bridesmaids.

best man called bride the ex-fiancée name throughout speech.culminating in "Groom will never love anyone as much as ex-fiancée name".bride started crying.cringetastic. best man got hideously drunk, made gaffs all night

We went to a family wedding and the bride invited her step mother, her father had died but the bride thought it was important that her step mum was there.

he step mum got drunk and when the speechs started she decided to heckle each perosn whilst speeking - the bestman the step father and the groom couldn't actually get through there speechs an eventually gave up... as soon as they gave up she left - but it was all too late then.

EDAMhillarious so so funny.
I sat at wedding table slagging off the car driver with some friends and referred to him as a 70s german porn star. We were hysterical at our impressions of his big perm and saying "go on baby give to me" etc etc in the style of a porn star. I turned to the girl next to me and said "did you see the funny driver?""yes"she replied "he is a close family friend" cue lots of supressed and eventually released laughter and tears streaming down faces. We were far too drunk to be bothered. At same wedding a girl came to the evening do with new bf who just happened to be a local hard case-6ft 4 with waist length dreadlocks. Father of groom was drunk and started on him. Got broke up and hard man left with gf. I was onmy way to toilet bit later and saw him walking calmly across the floor towards the venue with a knife. Me and gf managed to peruade him to leave after a long time but potentially could have been a nightmare.

Friends of Friends

All guests assemble in church waiting for the wedding. Groom, best man etc aren't there.

Bride appears in full dress, walks to the top of the church and explains wedding is off but as guests have travelled a long way, they are all still welcome to go to hotel and have reception food. Thanks everyone for coming but would especially like to thank chief bridesmaid for sleeping with the groom.

At a friends wedding, best mans speech included the line " I havn't seen groom this happy since his first wedding"

Doesn't everyone secretly hope that one day they will be at a wedding where either the bride or the groom doesn't show, or someone has something really interesting to say at the 'or forever hold your peace' bit?

I know I do. Not happened yet though.

Erm, anything that's 'friends of friends', particularly if spectacular, is going to be an urban legend...

I'm getting as much fun from these horror stories as if I'd been there myself.
Keep them coming x

I was a guest at a wedding once, where we ended up sitting at a table with a few people we knew, and one couple that we didn't.

Halfway through the meal, it became obvious that she was w*nking him off under the tablecloth. They made absolutely no attempt to cover up the movements. His eyes were rolling back in his head, and she just kept on talking to us. Eeeeugh!

Just before the money shot, they left the table (presumably to finish the job in private), her with a big grin on her face, and him with a massive stiffy, making an enormous tent in the front of his trousers.

Sorry SGB but the Robin Hood one is true. It's a member of my family...Luckily she has a fantastic sense of humour and laughed her way out.

When I worked in a hotel there was a deal where if the couple had the reception in our sister hotel, they got the wedding suite in ours. One couple turned up so drunk the groom took three attempts to sign the register while is new wife did a Del Boy style fall behind him - passed out cold. We didn't see them til 1pm the next day looking really rough.

My mate used to go out with a proper east end drug dealer stereotype...she was dreading going to one particular wedding which was the meeting of two prominent east end drug dealing families.

She and her then boyfriend turned up late, missed the service and went straight to the reception....they arrived a bit late to find a police helicopter circling over head and two big police black maria vans with blue lights flashing......and lots of police....

to this day she is not sure of the full story..... but it all kicked off when the groom was found shagging a bridesmade in a toilet during the reception & his new wifes brother pulled a knife on the groom and then most of the guests joined in.....

i worked for a man once who had taken his daughter to church and when he got there and sat down next to his wife - she died

I don't know what happend next?

My parents' wedding: both my grandfathers had a drunken fist fight (with each other). Nan's second husband had to break it up.