Worst behaviour seen at a wedding. :)

[anyabanya]

... Inspired by a thread in AIBU. (But not a thread about a thread. )

what is the worst behaviour you have seen/witnessed/heard of at a wedding?

A couple I have heard of.... Groom's mother turns up dressed in her own wedding dress and carrying a bouquet.

Another one.... during wedding speeches, Grooms mother gets up and welcomes her DIL into the family by stating 'Remeber. He will never love you as much as he loves me'.

there's a photo of my (then very little) cousin weeing in the background of some of my parents wedding photos

The Worst wedding I ever went to :

Groom's Grandad, known to be dramatic, had a 'heart attack' during the ceremony, paramedics arrived sirens blaring, but once the old goat thought he'd been given enough spotlight, shooed them away.

Bride's DB, and Grooms DB nip off during meal, reappeared quite later on, wide eyed and quite obviously off their faces

Another Ambulance is needed for the grandfather, this time he genuinely needed one, tripping over and breaking his arm karma

Evening reception, coked-up new BIL tries to grope the Bride in full view of horrified guests, was ejected sharpish

Then to cap it all off, sozzled Best Man wiggled his cock at MOTB

The marriage lasted 6 months.

Beautiful wedding of really good friends.

Ex-friend of ours gets pissed and rants on about how lame and cheap 'new money' is and slagging off bride (who looked like Grace bloody Kelly amazing)

Other pissed friend makes string of racial insults to Asian waiter - we love you long time etc when asked if he wanted beef or salmon.

Other pissed friends thought it was hilariously. Other normal friends and dh were ????????

One of my cousins got married during the world cup 2006 when England were playing in the quarter finals.
The wedding went off ok, pictures were taken very speedily after the ceromony. Big rush to the reception where the speeches were run through - prior to the food being served. When the food was being served, a TV was set up at the back of the hall. The saddest memory that I have of the day was seeing the bride sat at the top table on her own eating her meal.

When a good friend of mine got married her DH was very nervous and drank rather a lot. He gave a long rambling speech about how great his friends were and how much he loved his family but failed to even mention his new bride - not even once.

Haven't read whole thread yet but have been inspired to add my own from my wedding...

• drunken friend made me go to the toilet with her, stuff myself into the small space, only to say "oh I just wanted a chat, you've hardly spoken to meeeeeee" as she disappeared into a cubicle and left me waiting for her to appear. She then was pinioned against the window of the venue (which looked directly into the dance floor) but dh's sleazy friend. They were doing more than snogging and we could see everything... She never got in touch again and neither did i.

• dads speech was just awful. He hadn't planned it and was totally out of his comfort zone. Let's just say it contained not one positive word about me, and ended with something like "so, she's like a Thai bride, but cheaper...which is great what with her husband being Jewish!" pause for uncomfortable, shocked laughter. Bridesmaids actually stepped in to save the day, after hearing many gasps and seeing many shaky heads around them. They did an impromptu speech about how great I was. Didn't really wipe everyone's memories though and for months afterwards when I'd catch up with someone I hadn't seen since the day id get "are you ok???"

Groom got so drunk on wedding night and fell into a stupor so groom's brother had to 'DTD' with bride in lorry cab in the car park.

I have registered with MN after being a serial lurker solely to post this tale.

Our wedding was at home, we have a big place & rooms/camping had been allocated weeks before the event for friends with kids or those who had travelled a long way. The wedding was lovely, kids entertainer was lovely. Everything was lovely.

We'd invited DSs father & his new partner, so ds didn't feel lin a ke his dad had been left-out. They were invited to attend after the ceremony. All good. Dad was also supposed to take Ds away at 10.30 as this was when other family with under 10s had all agreed to go.

They arrived & got very drunk very quickly, his GF then went to DSs room & took a cuddly toy she had bought him & refused to give it up. She then had a brief chat with me outlining why she couldn't understand why I was so nice to her (er, because you spend loads of time with my five year old, also you're only 6 years older than my daughter & I kind of feel sorry for you).

I pottered off to dance with friends, only to be called away at 10.30 by the ex who informed me his GF was in a bad way & he didn't know what to do as he had to get back (walking distance) but couldn't carry both of the people he was supposed to leave with. I went to the bathroom, to find her vomiting loudly having ripped our towel rail off the wall.

My Mother now says one of her prevailing images of the wedding is me on the bathroomfloor, in my wedding dress, holding my exes hair whilst she threw up.

He was being awful about her, so I took him aside & told him to go with the boy and we'd find somewhere for her to crash. He got really aggressive, so we had me telling him to go and DH close by with several enormous and feisty friends ready to eject him. Eventually he left, DH put his GF in our bedroom with a jam pan to puke in and everyone partied on, expecting we could put her in a spare bed when we wanted to retire.

Long story short: loads more people stayed than we'd anticipated (because of course they did) and we ended up sharing our bed, on our wedding night, with my exes GF who woke every hour on the fucking hour to vomit, and DH had to leap out to make sure she got it all in the pan. I am not making a WORD of this up...

Next day we had a chill-out party for everyone who stayed. She woke up & demanded I lend her shoes to walk back as she'd lost hers. They both then returned in the afternoon so DS could hang out with the other kids for the chill out party. Did they apologise? Did they fuck!

It was ridiculous, and awful in so many respects. I do however, have the best wedding night story EVER.

Several years ago now we were invited to the evening reception of one of DH's then-colleagues. It was at a hotel in the middle of nowhere, miles from home, so we booked a room so we could both have a couple of glasses of wine. We'd checked in, left our bags upstairs and been at the reception for a while when I realised I'd left something I needed in our room (I think it was my asthma inhaler IIRC). The hotel was one of those identikit featureless places where everything looked the same and I have no sense of direction, so on my way back downstairs I was wandering round trying to head vaguely in the direction of the music to get back to the party. I took a wrong turn down a corridor and stumbled upon the groom with his trousers round his ankles being, ahem, orally pleasured by another (male) guest.

There is not enough brain bleach in the world to remove that image...

I'm new & absolutely loving these classic threads!

DH's Uncle brought his own sandwiches wrapped in foil to our wedding and sat there at the table munching them whilst everybody else ate the meal we'd provided.

He was on the same table as my Mum but I'd already briefed her that he might. A friend on the same table however just spent the whole meal looking from him, to me, to my Mum, and back to him in absolute horror

The worst I've seen otherwise is an absolutely steaming usher start a fight & swiftly get escorted away by the rest of the ushers.

Also new to MN - my story isn't anywhere near as good, well not really a story really, just a puzzle.

At my wedding (35 years ago - now divorced) we couldn't work out why it was taking them so long to serve the wine. We eventually tracked down the manager who said that a couple of weeks before someone had telephoned to cancel the wine. He didn't know who and had assumed it was me. By this time it was far too late to start serving it (and people had been dashing to the bar ordering drinks and giving me pointed looks ).

I never did find out who it was - or why.

at a recent wedding i went to, the groom lost his wedding ring at the reception.

I know I'm resurrecting a zombie but my Mum used to do marriage ceremonies. Where I originally come from, it's the local councillors who do the official part (unless it's a church wedding) and she was in that function for about 8 years. We would sometimes come over to watch the ceremonies from behind the curtains and honestly, if people behaved like this in front of an official, I wonder how awful their behaviour must have been when it was all over and they didn't have to "behave".
Memorable scenes: Mum asks the bride if she is taking her beloved fiance to be her husband. Bride says NO. Chaos ensues, parents are trying to persuade the bride to change her mind, groom is standing there like he has just fallen into coma, other guests picked up their jaws from the floor and are furiously chatting away.
There was no wedding. The bride was soon to be an ex-bride and walked away. We never found out why she ditched the groom.
Another one: Bride and groom standing with their witnesses behind them. The groom looking like he wants to do a runner. The bride all pale and nervous like she's not sure if she really wants to have a husband who doesn't want to be married. Both witnesses looking more like bodyguards than witnesses to a joyful loving union of two young people.

Oh and my own and I think it kind of proves that I have lived a very sheltered life.
My first wedding - I was very young and so stupid and refused to listen to the warning bells ringing alarm.
My DM's family come from a minority speaking different language - I genuinely thought this would never be a problem and we agreed with the DJ that he will play some oldies in that language, mainly for my GM. Upon arrival I was told that my exOH family told the DJ not to play the songs because some of their relatives would have an issue with that. We were really pissed off big time and told the DJ to ignore it and I told my exOH that if his family don't like it, they can go and take a hike because I respect them but also respect and love my family. My exFIL's family used to be quite rich, low aristocracy but all they were left with was no money and all airs of superiority. My MIL was generally a nice woman but she was also very bossy and my exOH never cut the apron strings. I didn't realize because while studying at the university we lived in the campus and smartphones have never been invented yet. Her idea has always been that we will all live together in one big home as one big family (she + husband + two sons with families). One of her sons is now divorced and the other one created as much distance between his family and her as possible (he also married an inappropriate girl against his mother's will because her family had wrong political opinions and wouldn't budge.

A friend was telling me about how she met up with a friend from primary school and found out that she'd gotten married and when they were all eating and whatnot the husband went missing and she searched around the church for him, and even went outside calling his name. Eventually she gave up and assumed that he was back in the hotel room.
And he was.
And he was drunk.
And he was fucking the best man.

I was at a wedding where the vicar said in his sermon that the groom was not a gentleman and not trustworthy and that the bride was no spring chicken.
He left the moment the service ended.

A couple at cousin's weddings.

My uncle saying tot he bride n broad Yorkshire, "A don't see why thee's sat there in t' white wreath ant veil, I used to wipe arse for thee' and then proceeded to do an impression of the bride when she was three and needed help wiping her bum.

Another one wasn't found out abut until afterwards.

The family had booked a room at the hotel for anyone who needed to go out of the reception for a bit, so bf woman who wants a bit of quiet, great aunty who can't live without seeing corry, place to get changed or let a child have a nap, you get the idea, very thoughtful.

A couple of weeks later the bride's parents get a bill. Someone had gone to the room and ordered room service and charged it to the room!

The last wedding I went to was going a bit tits up, it was just before Christmas and we were supposed to have mulled wine on arrival and it hadn't turned up. Bride getting upset. The night before the venue had called to say they were double booked

I went to the bar to ask for the manager and someone was ordering drinks and told the bar staff to 'put it on the wedding tab'. I asked him to name either the bride or groom. I then told the bar staff that no one from the wedding party was in the bar they were all waiting for their mulled wine and not getting it. Bloke was just complete stranger trying it on. The manager arrived as I was tearing a strip of him.

Things did improve but when we went to check out someone had put a restaurant meal on our room tab. The hotel staff then argued with us that we had eaten a meal - nope we ate at the wedding. Manager was called, the same one as before - he stopped the staff arguing.

Photographer had to leave wedding to take home intoxicated girlfriend that nearly fell in the cake did fall on elderly guests and fell down the steps whilst being carried out he came back about an hour later.

My DH is a lay minister and he can conduct weddings. He did a wedding a few years ago for a couple. The bride's family are regular church goers at our church but the bride is lapsed and the groom was not religious. I'd guess that 95% of the guests had never been in a church before and had no idea of how to behave. As soon as the first flower girl walked in there was cheering and clapping. It got louder and louder with every speaker, singer, poem, reading. By the end there were two women sitting in front of me who were screaming as if they were at a concert.
The brides sister got up to sing and she had to shush everyone and refused to start singing till there was a bit of quiet. It was quite funny actually but the church going members of the family were definitely annoyed.

However the guests thought it was a brilliant wedding. People kept coming up to DH during the reception and say how lovely and personal it was and insisting on buying him drinks, (he's teetal) . Several people told him he'd almost convinced them to find God.

It was a really good laugh all in all.

I have a story. I know its a FOAF but I actually met the person who had gone to the wedding.
She had gone to Australia for her brother's wedding to her long-term fiancée. It was supposed to be a civil ceremony and was going by the numbers until the celebrant said "Welcome to the commitment ceremony of John Doe and Jane Sue.."

Cue shocked silence from everyone, including the celebrant. Unbeknown to everyone, the fiancée had met up with the celebrant to discuss a few details on her own about how it was a commitment ceremony since she had neglected a few things like getting a divorce.
She had managed to convince the celebrant that everybody knew about it.
No one did. Especially her fiancé.

They broke up soon after the 'ceremony'.

Mooooore!

I went to a wedding where the speeches went on for 1.5 hours, there was no table wine, the water jugs weren’t replaced and the bar was closed for the duration of the speeches. People were popping to the bar next door for drinks and not coming back.

Oh yes, and a small terrier joined my brother and his new wife for the first dance, following them around the dance floor!

I've love that.

A tardy bride:
"In every heart began to spring that exquisite hope, seldom if ever realised, that the bride will have had a fit, or eloped with someone else."
(Cheerfulness Breaks In by Angela Thirkell)

This is brilliant. I don’t have anything to offer though.

My wedding...

My (former "exotic dancer") cousin...

She was only invited to the evening part of the wedding as were not close but are close with the rest of the family(who were also only invited to the evening as it was a small group in the day)

Anyway... she made a point of going round asking who had been invited to the actual wedding and then decided to pop to the loo and take off the underdress from under her almost see through lace mini dress (black) under which she had a thong and nothing else and dance provocatively around the dance floor during the father-daughter dance

Needless to say she was quickly removed and hasn't been to any other family parties since...