Worst behaviour seen at a wedding. :)

[anyabanya]

... Inspired by a thread in AIBU. (But not a thread about a thread. )

what is the worst behaviour you have seen/witnessed/heard of at a wedding?

A couple I have heard of.... Groom's mother turns up dressed in her own wedding dress and carrying a bouquet.

Another one.... during wedding speeches, Grooms mother gets up and welcomes her DIL into the family by stating 'Remeber. He will never love you as much as he loves me'.

I went to one a few weeks ago, a muslim wedding. The bride was a recent convert and her family (white catholics) had worked hard to accept her decision to convert and really tried to ensure the wedding was what the couple wanted.

It started in a registry office. Groom's family turned up, looking very smartly dressed, all the women dressed very discreetly as was the bride (who looked lovely). Up turned brides friends in mini skirts, strappy tops and in one case what looked like a sheer bodystocking . Apparently they'd all been quite a 'pulling team' at uni!

Grooms family too polite to mention it and just averted their eyes. This was made worse by the friends cackling about recent piss ups they'd had with the bride and trying to cop off with the married men.

Firepile, are your mother and her evil best friend named Edina and Patsy?

I googled spit roast, I had a feeling it was something that wasn't food.

Before my Sis's wedding her BIL to be and his GF tried to systematically cancel everything my Sis had booked and tried to book extra DJs etc. It was only when their venue rang her to confirm that they realised. The police were involved and even came to check in on the day to make sure they hadn't caused any more trouble.

When we got there the Vicar had left a note saying 'If anyone had come to XXX and XXX's wedding it is at 3pm not 1.30' as this psycho couple had obviously also gone around telling people the wrong time.

During the ceremony when it got to the bit where anyone is told to speak up if they have any objections one of BIL friends hilariously put his hand up, and the vicar gave him a right telling off after everything that had gone on for my sis.

Also half of her family (my ex step family) didn't turn up after falling out with her. My bro and sis's dad died shortly before the wedding. He was a felonious, drug-taking, never-paid-a-penny-in-maintenance git yet his grown up brothers and sisters wanted my 20 odd year old bro and sis to pay for his elaborate mafia funeral they had arranged, which one of his brothers made a profit from by holding the wake in his own pub and making everyone pay for drinks. My sis refused, hence half them not turning up.

My wedding was v tame. It was small, only 10 people, and my mum was supposed to do a reading but when the registrar came to introduce her she looked sheepish and admitted she'd left the reading in the hotel room.

Our friends had their wedding in beautiful country hotel in Nottinghamshire. Dp and I decided to book a room there and stay over night. We checked into our room and had brought along with us some alcohol which we planned to drink in the room after the Reception (bit of a 'back to our room shindig'). Anyways, we had no ice bucket so DP decided to fill the bath with cold water and promptly put the wine bottles and cans of lager into the bath.

We then go down to the service in the hotel and watch the very lovely, moving ceremony. After the service, as we are about to go outside to have pics taken, a very flustered looking hotel employee enters and bellows " is there a Mr XXXXX (my dp) here in this room???".
Dp and I become frantic thinking that something has happened to our kids at home.

Hotel employee pulls DP to one side to inform him that our bath (we had forgotton to TURN THE BLOODY TAP OFF) had overflowed and flooded through the floor- into the catering area below our room. The electrics for that had area had blown and the hotel had just contacted an emergency electrician to come out in the hope that it could be fixed or else THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PROVIDE THE FOD FOR THE RECEPTION.

I almost collapsed.

Electrician did come out- it was fixed and sorted, our room was 'out of bounds', the food was served and most importantly of all for us was that the bride never got wind of it. Her family had some pretty shady characters amongst it and i fear that DP would probably still be searching for his teeth now. (She learned about it the next day and thought it was hilarious- not sure she would have been so enlightened if the hotel could not facilitate the entire menu through our stupidity)

Very expensive wedding for us in the end as we had to pay towards electrician and pay for a new room.

mortifying

FOOD not FOD!!

when dp's friends got married a few years ago, they were quite happy for us to bring ds1, who was about 17months at the time. the minister was great, told all of us with kids not too worry about them making any noise, great we thought, wee man will be just fine.
no-gets to the serious bit near the end, and ds1 spots a bloddy gold fish, and proceeds to tell us all at the top of his voice about the 'goldpish'. the ceremony couldnt have ended quick enough...

At a close relative's wedding they were trying to keep costs down so asked the bride's brother to do the videoing.

The groom's brother (best man) has always been lacking in the hair department and decided to wear a toupee thing for the wedding.

The brother decided it would be funny to throughout the whole ceremony and reception to keep zooming in and out on this toupee.

This poor girl's wedding video is just of her Bil's wig.

tries to resurrect thread

My cousin married a Scottish man and so all of the Groom's party were in traditional Scottish dress.

One of the guests (I won't say who as I might out myself!) - who had probably had quite a few to drink - persuaded one of them to lend him a kilt. He then spent the rest of the evening 'hilariously' dancing and waving said kilt about. I didn't dare look, but I heard tell that he had no underwear on either [hshock]

I had a couple of drama's at my wedding:-
We booked church a year and a half in advance, the minister was a lovely wee man. Just before the wedding he unfortunately died and church pulled another minister out of retirement till they found permanent new minister...he was a nightmare. Phoned us up 2 weeks before wedding to ask us to move our ceremony time, as he had another couple in his office right now wanting to book the same day, and could they also keep the flowers we'd arranged for their ceremony ...He wasn't happy when i said no. On the day itself, DH and best man were at church early. Minister pulled DH to the side and said 'you wouldn't believe how many weddings i've done where the bride doesn't show up'....What on earth was he thinking?! The week before wedding, the company providing cars went bust and bridesmaids were frantically trying to arrange alternative without me knowing. Then day before wedding, my sister tried on shoes and they didn't fit, and i got a phonecall from hairdressers to say that they couldn't do my bridal hair as hairdresser had stabbed himself in the hand whilst trying to pull someones hair through a highlight cap! The actual day itself went well, apart from losing the wedding cake after it was cut and my MIL standing on my dress on the dancefloor and subsequently been sent flying when i moved.

Bump

At our wedding DH's uncle got drunk and snogged the DJ's wife on the dancefloor in front of the DJ, his (unsurprisingly)estranged wife and three grown up daughters with their partners. He then got into an argument with the DJ and pulled the plug on the music. I stepped in and told him off in no uncertain terms

He's been amusingly ashamed of himself and terrified of me at every family gathering since!

We had a lovely wedding otherwise!

I can write a 10 page essay about the worst wedding we?ve ever been to. And I swear it?s all true and I have left some of the more minor issues out

But short intro, it was a full day invite to someone OH had worked with for 6 weeks.
I was a bitOH laid on the sob story, groom was of same ethnic origin as OH, he had no family in the country, had been in tears to OH about how he was going to be so lonely at his own wedding blah blah blah.
I gave in.
So in points:
The wrong address for the registry office on the invite so missed that bit of the wedding.
Reception was in the Brides Brother and SIL garden, only to find out that though they having agreed to host the wedding they hugely objected to it, they were both in jeans and t-shirts, dirty ones, and went around insulting everyone.
They, the host?s wouldn?t allow any one to use the house loo?s and had charged the bride for a portaloo that was in the front drive, and insisted that all 80+ guests use this including their elderly disabled aunt.

Their 2 horribly behaved children aged about 7 &9 so IMO old enough to know better, spend the sit down part of the meal running around the tables stealing food off people?s plates, and spitting the food at the guests (no offence to anyone with children with SN but I did wonder if this was an issue? I mean why else would you let your children behave like that.)Later told by their own grandfather that they were just brats
At the dancing etc bit a sobbing woman turned up, turned out to be the groom?s fiancée! She just heard about the wedding from one of her and the groom?s mutual friends
As this is kicking off another female guest announced that she?s been shagging the groom for the last 2 years and he had told her that this was a passport wedding so who was this other whore!
Groom is found upstairs with yet another female guest.
At this point if I had been the bride I would have been calling the police and the home office, but no she was sticking up for him.
The really good jazz band packed up and left when the older of the 2 horribly behaved children punched the singer in the face.
The children then spent 20 minutes throwing windfall apples at another guests 16 month toddler and her mother, hard! When anyone tried to stop them or step in the way to protect the mum and baby they shrieked out ?peado, peado mummy he/she?s trying to touch me? understandably this couple left.
I at this point I was (more than) slightly hysterical, and had sore finger from texting everyone I knew.
We left not long later, when the groom backed me in to a corner and more of less tried to sexually assault me, until I kneed him, and OH tried to punch him.

We were staying in the local village and went straight in to the pub, only to find several other escapees all sitting around with a dazed ?did that really happen look?
One good point one of the guests had thought fuck this and had loaded his car with several cases of wine from the kitchen while the poor caterers ignored him and invited us all back to his, where the caterers turned up and told us even more horror stories.
Proved to me that money can not make a wedding, apparently the bride?s family had spent thousands and thousands (I guess they knew a lot of booze was going to be needed)
This is our touch point, when I was in agony in A& E recently; OH even said is it as bad as X & Y?s wedding or not as bad? On a scale of 1 -10; 10 being X&Y wedding is a 10 where is your pain?

Ps: they?re still together (OH works in a bit of a specialised field and hears about them every now and then). So far she has had 2 different women, as in different from the wedding women if you know what I mean turn up at the door claiming to have his CHILD, and she still claims that they are happy, madly in love etc. Mad

Went to wedding of a dear friend - her and DP had been together 20+ years. They were well known for liking a drink. Wedding reception in a lovely restaurant'

Fairly small gathering - maybe 40 people.
Bride drinking gallons of 'bollie darling'.

Managed to get through lovely buffet style starter and then bride fell asleep face first in her plate! She had a Patsy style 'up do' which unravelled beautifully when she finally woke up about 90 minutes later.

Buffet had been picked clean as we were all starving and waiting for main course but had to wait for bride to wake up.

When she did, she delicately picked the lettuce from her face and carried on!

They were eventually taken to the airport later in the evening for their honeymoon. Bride discovered her DH hadn't brought his wallet and she had just a little bag and a credit card.

Friend who had given them lift had to lend them cash to go on honeymoon.

God love them they are divorced now but still very much an item - they would spoil another couple!

DS (2 years) stood up during the prayers at my DB's wedding and announced - with that incredible carrying clarity of the infant voice - "I haven't done a poo, I've just farted."

ExDP went to a work colleague's wedding, which was going okay until the reception. The groom and his mates, who by this time were more than a tad inebriated, started loudly regaling the rest of the assembly with their extensive repertoire of filthy rugby songs.

Eventually, the bride's brother decided he'd had enough and decided to put a stop to the singing by the simple expedient of throwing a punch at his new BIL. The whole thing immediately descended into a drunken melee, sountracked by the bride screaming hysterically before running out in tears.

Thankfully, ExDP went to this shortly before he and I became an item so I was spared the pain of witnessing the spectacle

I waitressed at various hotels so attended many a wedding in a professional (ahem) capacity.

At one, myself and the rest of the waiting staff were standing respectfully in a line at the side of the dining room waiting for grace to be said, after which we would leap into action and serve the starter.

The Toastmaster stood up and said that instead of the traditional grace, the bride's father would read out a poem he had written.

A that, the head waiter's lips started twitching uncontrollably, which was bad enough. But after four lines of the poem (which was heartfelt but cringetastically awful )he couldn't handle any more and fled past us and hid behind the screens around the serving area crying with silent laughter. In full view of us, but not the assembled guests.

It was too much for the rest of us and after half a beat, we piled in with him, stuffing our mouths with our aprons to try and prevent any unfortunate guffaws from giving us away.

We only just managed to recover in time to serve the soup safely.

When my friend's DS was 3 we attended the wedding of another friend. The vicar droned on and on for ages and I think most people were getting a bit bored, when the vicar paused for breath DS voiced what I suspect most people were thinking and declared in a very loud voice: "Shut up you old bugger!"

My friend was and trying to distract him, I was too busy crying with laughter to help her.

Another friend got married the following summer. It was a lovely wedding, but the groom gets drunk really quite easily. His new wife realized just how out of it he was when he started drunkenly fumbling around under the table during dinner... and then her feet started getting warm and wet... yep, new hubby had pulled out his willy and was having a wee under the table and had managed to whizz all over her sandals, feet and the train of her dress.

I'm pretty sure she will never, ever let him forget it, and I know she made him replace the piddled on shoes with a very expensive new pair

I didn't attend this wedding (so am not 100% sure if the tale is true) but it was a real Scottish wedding - all the fellas in kilts and no undies.

For some reason the best man thought it would be funny to sit on the bride's lap for a photo... and when he got up his bum left a little poo-print behind on her dress. Ew.

I can still remember the best man's speech at my mum and stepdad's wedding.

It included a joke, along the lines of a farmer went to the pub and some meeting was going on in the function room upstairs. Farmer stands there and listens, thinks it sounds interesting and he makes his way up there.

Person talking at the front of the meeting asks if anyone in the audience has ever made love to a goat, so the guy makes his way up there and regales his experiences on the farm yard, with lots of animal noises.

Turns out it was a meeting of the spiritualist church and the person at the front actually asked if anyone had ever made love to a ghost.

I was 14 at the time, and I'm pretty much scarred for life.

My MIL cornered my mother at my wedding and started loudly explaining how naturally this was the worst day of both of their lives, worse than her own mother's funeral in fact... and then she got so blind drunk she started throwing up. After the event she told everyone she missed the speeches and cake and nobody thought of her - which is kind of odd, given she is in all the photos of the speeches, front row centre, eating cake. She still swears blind she wasn't there and it must be photoshop.

At DS' baptism she went around telling everyone how much more fun she was having than at our "shambles of a wedding", where nobody was fed for hours (12 noon wedding, meal served at 3) which is why she got so very drunk, and how it was All My Fault.

I just posted this story elsewhere and was told to come here and copy:

One memorable wedding I went to, the best man's girlfriend and a wife of 10 years decided this was the perfect time to experiment with their sexuality and went off and had a shag in the hedge. Was caught by the bride's mother - who thought they were doing drugs. That was one helluva do.

Oh, and a few more..

I was a bit of a clubber in the 90s so a lot of them are hijinks with my old clubbing muckers. Here goes:

• first wedding of 2 of my clubbing chums was very posh - in church that Oliver Cromwell was married in or something - posh families on both sides and reception in some kind of masonic place followed by evening do in pub. Several of my friends, including the ushers, had spent the morning drinking champagne and doing coke. One mate turned up 1min before the bride, burst into the church obviously shit-faced, carrying an empty bottle of champagne and a lit fag. Some church-y bloke had to gently persuade him to put the cig out and leave the bottle outside - whilst the entire wedding party looked on. Once the vows were done there was an almighty roar of approval from all the drunk friends rather than the smattering of applause that is more usual. During the reception everyone carried on drinking and sneaking off to the loos to do illegal substances. The food was late and very little of it (it was basically a few appetizers on plates) and so everyone got completely hammered quickly. We discovered where the Masonic robes were kept and started parading around in them with several women flashing their knickers in them and having photos taken. The owners of the venue took this very badly and barred us for life. At 5pm we all decanted to the pub where the second wind of guests were to come along. They arrived en masse about 30mins later to find the entire wedding party, still in hats and cravats, dancing on the tables to let me entertain you. They looked terrified. At one point the bride and her mother entered the loos bumping into a couple of guests who had just left a cubicle together. The bride, without thinking, announced that one of the women had just become engaged herself and would she show her ring to her mother. She did, but with a clenched fist as she was holding the wrap in the engagement ring hand. Icing on the cake was the Bride's mother's boyfriend getting punched for chatting up the young women and the bride rowing with the groom because they had taken a vow of abstinence for the day and she found out he had been doing coke in the loos with the ushers.

• another wedding with same clubbing friends. Best man speech focussed on a very inappropriate story about the bride flyering the whole of Grays Inn Road trying to find a bloke she had chatted up at a club the night before (not her DH). Also - yet again lots of illegal substances which caused the lovely, innocent 15 year swedish cousin to say to her Mum in the loo queue "let's go in together, everyone else is going in in twos".

• another wedding the bride's mother got drunk and spent the whole wedding being upset that the day wasn't more about her. She was so badly behaved that the groom has never spoken to her since. At that wedding one table of guests got fed up waiting for food and started dabbing speed at the table. They were all gurning badly before the mains arrived and none of them could eat it - had to wrap things in their napkins and throw away. Bride was very cross at that.

I've also attended the wedding of a gay man and gay woman (to each other) which was for visa purposes which had both their partners there and ended up with the reception clubbing at Heaven.

I have others but I think that gives a good overview. We are all a lot calmer now and go on sensible camping trips together with our kids. Re-reading those though has reminded me why I don't get married

When I got married, my DH, always keen to nab a bargain, got his shoes in the sale. When we knelt down for the blessing, there was a hiss of suppressed laughter behind us...yes, he'd left the huge red SALE stickers on the soles of his shoes!

A second one - DH and I were evening guests ata work colleague's wedding reception at a hotel. DH was grumbling about how long the buffet was taking to arrive. He wandered off, then came back telling me he's found the buffet. We went into the dining room where all the food was laid out down a long table, and we loaded up our plates...only to reach the end of the table and be confronted with a cake iced with the phrase "happy 80th birthday Albert"!... we brazened it out, stuffed our buffet food really quickly then beat a hasty retreat!

Best friend's wedding. Her parents had had a messy divorce that took 15 years to sort out. Dad paid for wedding on the understanding mum wouldn't be there - she didn't want to come anyway.
Dad does a speech to the 300 guests singing the praises of stepmum and how wonderful she's been bringing friend up over the last 20 years, supporting the family.

Guests sit in stunned silence until a tipsy woman loudly mentions how impressive that support is, seeing as stepmum only met friend 10 years earlier after mum had left, and all the children were grown up!

Recently went to one where the couple had to warn all the guests his mum was a loon who was convinced secret agents were after her. Apart from everyone having to duck to the ground every time a plane or helicopter went over, it was fine.

Actually I think the worst was one I only went to the evening of, but it was the day of Princess Di's funeral, and some villagers tried to get the vicar to cancel the wedding or not ring the church bells as it would be 'inappropriate', and picketed the church. Luckily the vicar and all guests were determined to give them an excellent wedding.