D'y ever think - I really hope the film 'The great escape' is on tv on Christmas Day?

[pinkfrog]

no....are you sure?

That was meant to strike through aah, two hyphens, bugger.

Ta very much Tea - I like the phrase 'left over twins' in the fridge

Alright everyone - I'm now going to have a moan (again) about the MIL - a massive argument broke out on Sunday between her and my DP about how she talks to us regarding the girls. It is in her nature to give us orders rather than advice when it comes to caring for our little ones - she has decided in the past few weeks that all our children have colic and are teething for instance, and won't have it when we say we don't think that they have/do suffer from those things. She takes us disagreeing as a personal insult and like we are saying that she doesn't know anything about babies.

Dp basically told her that we feel she talks to us like we are 5 years old and she does constantly make me feel like I can't possibly be caring for my children properly because I've never had any before. Sundays argument ended with her telling us we should move down south (where my family live) and see how much help we get then. She also told us not to ask her for anything again because she wouldn't help us anymore. I assume she feels like we just ignore whatever she advises us but this just isn't the case.

I'm totally at my wits end trying to make her understand that I do listen to her advice but that she is not and cannot ever be 100% right about everything to do with the girls. I'm not going to say 'yes if you say they have colic then they must have' because they don't have colic - not do I think they are teething quite yet although I do think they are very close to starting.

We were told when I was pregnant that if we needed help just to call and someone would come - that's why we moved 5 minutes away from the family when we used to live half an hour away. But when we do phone now we get told no-one is available, or that they won't there for an hour because said person has to go to Asda/the bank etc. Obviously the weekly shop is more important than three babies screaming the flat down.

Sorry for the rambling, I just really needed to get it off my chest. Its hard enough work looking after triplets when everyone starts abandoning you when they had promised they would always be there.

happy birthday shabs!! And congrats again snorris on Lucy Grace. Cant stay on DT2 wants to go on the bob the builder website.

ToH, who was it said "you haven't walked a mile until you have walked a mile in my shoes" or words to that effect.

My point is, you MIL hasn't had TRIPLETS!!!!!!! She can't (or anyone for that matter) give out her opinion unless she (a) is asked for it and/or (b) has real and solid personal experience from which to wax lyrical.

Could you draw up a schedule of when and what help you could do with like, say, laundry and food help (from their own homes if that would make it easier for you) so that even if the girls are screaming the house down you know these other things are being dealt with? That way, even if they can't/won't drop everything to come to you (and they should at this point in time) at least you know these other things are covered.

Much as I don't get on very well with my MIL, I will say that she did collect and return laundry in the early days and bring the odd meal that just needed heated up. All of that in itself turned into a problem but before that it was helpful.

Ask for what you need and if they refuse come back to us and we will come up with other ideas xxxxxxx. Sorry its so crap right now.

Pinkfrog (aka a MIL) is hiding in the corner. We are not all terrible but I do feel for anyone who is being driven mad by a MIL because mine hated me!!!

what a wonderful day. I had to wipe away the tears. Danny with Lew in his arms and Em stood opposite them. Emma singing 'Beautiful girl boy' at the top of her voice and the three of them doing a dance together. Lew was screeching with laughter - every time Em came towards them!!! I am one very lucky woman.

Lews favourite song

Timesofhope - sorry your post hadnt appeared when I put mine on or I would have said something. I know how you feel - although with me its my own Mum rather than my MIL (she is all the way away in Aus) who knows best all the time.

I'm sat here in tears too - my DH can be a nasty piece of work sometimes. I have an assignment that needs to be in tomorrow, I have been looking after the kids all day, of course he has been working but you would think that at 6 he could do the bath and the stories but he didnt even surface from his office until 7 and then shouted at me.

Im late, Im late for a very important date.......no time to say hello goodbye Im late Im late I`m late!!!!!!!!!

Happy Happy Birthday to my most wonderful lovely friend

glad that Lew came, hope you have been spoilt, sorry my offering will be late, posted first class this morning and praying it doesn`t get damaged!

And had a nagging sore side all day

TOH and Hark the,
They have no idea how hard it is looking after children all day, I say this after 30 years of marriage and having a singleton followed by triplets at 46! TOH do you have Homestart in your area? My health visitor contacted them and I was sent a retired school teacher, Heather, she was about 50, absolutely lovely, terrified of such tiny babies, but washed, ironed shopped etc, all voluntary. Do accept any help that is offered, wish I was nearer, I would love to be able to help. Hark, I know how you feel, I have been on my feet all day, got this worrying nagging sore side(8 weeks now) they say IBS I of course am worrying its the same as Harry. Anyway at 6pm I am asking the other four in this house for help to set the table, and gave up and did it myself! You just at times feel like, child minder, cook, cleaner, nurse etc etc etc! If only God had made them think! Coz they don`t!

Why does everyone disappear when I come on, and where is Mars...........China....France......?

Thanks guys, I sometimes feel like i'm being this unreasonable insane person for not being able to get on with her.

Everything was fine after the birth - MIL came to stay with us to help out whilst I was still getting over the c-section. However after a couple of weeks we felt we would like to get our own routine going instead of getting up in the morning to find all the bottles/dishes/tidying up done. We politely told her thank you so much for everything you've done the past couple of weeks but we need to start doing our own thing - she wasn't going to be permanently living with us after all and we both wanted to feel like we could cope with 3 babies.

Well, I think she took some offence at this, maybe she thought she would be staying with us longer and she was having some marital problems at home so maybe she would have liked to stay another week. We wanted to stand on our own two feet though and at the time people were still helping out whenever they visited and bringing us food etc.

It was once she left that things started going downhill, the help stopped, the food parcels stopped, suddenly everyone was working or unavailable. And then the nagging started - when were we going to bring the babies down to my dp's nan's house? We HAD to take the babies to see MIL's workmates because they had given us some money. MIL works in a hospital kitchen and we were'nt prepared to risk them getting something from a patient and becoming ill.

sigh I could go on but i'd just be depressing myself.

Oh TOH, this should be such a lovely time for you, its exhausting I know, but I look back to my early days and it was bliss, I loved every minute of it. My mum was not very hands on, she was 70 when they were born, my Dad was 72, she always expected us to do the visiting, not so easy is it? We had a few friends who came in in the early days, plus my sils, but I suppose after aboyt 4 months it all tailed off, but we coped. I would give anything to have those days back, I loved it all, we are special you know to have had three beautiful babies all at once! Try and not let it get to you, concentrate on you and your husband and your very beautiful daughters, its your first Christmas, let mil know she is welcome but do what is right for you. xx

TOH - Sorry you are having a poo time of it. My MIL is coming home on Sunday and staying the whole day Monday. I am going back to work in the new year, three days a week and I just know I will have to wrestle the boys from her every night when I get home.
I will willingly take you up on your offer of left over cake. No one got me a birthday cake. My sister didn't even phone me up, let alone send me a card. I know I am the most unimportant person now but an email wouldn't've gone amiss. sniff, sniff.

Oh my lovely friends.

This is a weird life. My DH has sent me the most romantic card, 2 dozen lillys (my fave flowers) half way down a bottle of my fav tipple he bought me - gin!!!

But - it is too little, too late. My story is like many others on here!! My MIL hated my guts - deeply detested me. Remember last year just before we went on holiday we had to 'chip in' and pay for her funeral. Dont think we will manage to go back to Faliraki next year but cant really blame that on MIL - just our empty pockets. Dont mean to pretend I know everything but can I just say - the worst feeling I have ever had is the loss of my children. When I think about it logically, my MIL hating the ground I walked on means NOTHING, NIL, ZERO, ZILCH!! I can only imagine how hard it is to look after triplets because looking after twins was almost impossible. Concentrate on you and yours, on your precious babies and your partner.

Thank you for all your wonderful messages - I have had a good birthday. Tomorrow is another day. Sagapo. Kale Nits. Adios. Laters xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning girls.

TRIPS:- Parcel just arrived. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH dont worry I WILL find a place for the picture!!! Thank you my lovely friend. Cheered me up no end!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxx

`Andsome innit

When I saw it in the shop, the young lad said,
"is it for your daughter"?
I said no its for a friend who is mad about him.
"Your age thenthen"?
About, I said.
Well, I suppose he has been around a long time", he said!

Cheeky young sod

I`ll let Shabs tell, there may be a clue in the "swoon"

Hi Momma,
Thanlk you for that, its so true. The times I used to go into their room and just sit and stare at them, so over whelmed with them, oh they were truly lovley days, I am lucky...................even though they are driving me nuts now