James was just a little dot! How amazing. Looking at those books must be quite fascinating. You're some woman Trips.
If its any help, my children's behaviour has been pregessively pretty awful the last few months. Rude, loud, obnoxious, copying each others bad behaviour, shouting and screaming and crying as communication instead of talking. Something inside went "ping" last Monday. I realise that I know the boundaries, I explain precisely why we don't cross the boundaries and I threaten what would happen if they cross the boundary. AND I NEVER ENFORCE THE BOUNDARY. I go about saying "stop screaming at me, tell me, use your talking voice" but I never actually follow through and make them sit it out in their rooms until we can talk. Or rather, I do. Once. I don't do the repeat, repeat, repeat bit.
I'm still going to counselling and I happened to mention that I was finding the kids behaviour out of hand atm (they all copy each other). She reminded me that I would need to be more consistent. And that any change might take a month to correct. I said once I had been through the whole routine with one child I didn't have it in me to do it all again with the next one and the next one. She just said I needed to follow through more and more and show them I mean it. No shouting on my part just repetitive action.
She said removing that one child from the room/dinner table/game etc and making them play along in their room was, from a psychologists point of view, a great thing. Its not punitive, its just a repetitive reminder that the behaviour is not welcome.
I'm trying it. Its hard, I'm worn out with the "please stop screaming at your sister and use your talking voice to tell her you don't like it" and then carting off upstairs 50 times a day..........but I'm giving it a good shot this time. Now I have her words in my head. Its not punitive. It might take a month.
Keep going with the bed settee. And, have you thought about writing to each of them? They are old enough to be told that its unacceptable and unfair and that you'd like to hear their suggestions as to how to make it better.
Trips, you have adorable, wonderful children and you also need to know that bedtime is bedtime and that you can get some sleep too. Its a most reasonable request.
Shabs, so sorry to hear Beth is still in intensive care. Hospital care is hard work. Its like being in a little bubble with the whole world living live as normal just through the glass. Sending strength and love your way darling.