Newborn twins are HARD

[PollyDarton2]

There’s two of them!!!!!!!!

Are there any twin mums out there who’d care to share any nuggets of advice or tell me about their experiences or just nod and agree with me?

I was warned that people “just don’t get it” and that’s definitely how I’m feeling. People are being plenty supportive and/or sympathetic. But that’s not the same as having someone know what you’re going through.

@Dinneronmybfpillow like heck are the newborn bits the easy bits.
Dearly as I love my dt's the first few months were looking back hellish.
We survived but I felt like my life was reduced to ashes around me.
Once they slept it got easier.
You are in the trenches right now, it does get so much better.

@Dinneronmybfpillow sending strength and sympathy your way!!!

The luxury of not being a first time mum gives me the confidence to think those people are talking crap that the newborn stage is the easy bit. Simply because every baby is different and every mother copes with different stuff in different ways. You can’t make sweeping statements.

My son was such an easy newborn… He’d wake for a feed, fall asleep on the boob, and then I’d see him in 2-3 hours for it all again. These two are not like that! Constant cluster feeding and don’t fall asleep on the boob.

Fingers crossed you get to wash your face and clean your teeth in the morning!

Thanks all. I had a reasonable night (I think, I'm now so chronically sleep deprived I just survive it but no longer check the clock so no idea how often I was awake).

I think it's personally swayed by the fact I don't like the newborn days much anyway. I found it really quite stressful with DD, constantly second guessing myself and trying to 'fix' everything rather than accepting that babies cry often and we don't always know why or can stop it despite best efforts. I much prefer it when they get a bit older and will take a full blown toddler tantrum over that any day.

@Dinneronmybfpillow I’m definitely enjoying parenting more second time round and I think it’s down to having realistic expectations! Plus I know everything is a phase and temporary.

Mine are five this year which has different challenges from the newborn stage lol. Probably not advised but if one woke up at night I dream fed the other so I wouldn't be woken half an hour later. Good luck x

Congratulations!

I had twins and a 2 year old. I also breastfed them for over 2 years. I used a twin feeding cushion by piglet and pea I think. Also I always tandem fed, it’s hard going against your natural instinct never to wake a sleeping baby but it worked for me.

I went out a lot, weekdays, weekends all the time. As others have said a cup of tea and a pair of hands are helpful. Also it creates less mess in Your house.

I can’t remember the first two years so take lots of pictures and for xmas ask someone to make you a photo book from them as a gift - i love looking back at mine.

you do get proficient too picking the baby up one handed too 😂.

Enjoy it does get easier.

Question for you twin mums (if you can remember!)…. My girls were born the same weight but I think they’re growing at different rates. Anyone recall if their twins did this? I was concerned that T1 had a slight tongue tie as seems to come off the boob a lot but she does generally feed ok, she just suddenly seems a lot smaller than her sister! They won’t be weighed for another two weeks but I don’t know if I should try and get them weighed beforehand somehow to monitor it.

Get her checked fir tongue tie. My twins were not picked up by over 5 hcps. The consultant who snipped it said it was a very noticeable tongue tie.

Regarding weight - mine weighed a pound different at birth and since a week old have been an ounce of two different at most! Non identical. Same height, same weight. Everything else is different!

How are you getting on now @PollyDarton2 ?

Hi @FamilyGredunza getting on OK thank you. The twins are about three months now and so much easier than they were. Their colic has eased and it’s not constant crying. We’ve even tried to establish a bedtime routine over the last week and 2/3 of the kids seem to go to bed OK. And whichever one is left comes downstairs with us (one kid is suddenly so easy!)

When it’s hard it’s really hard. If I can’t get them to sleep in the morning the rest of the day just snowballs into a big mess. But I can work in that.

Three under three is just spinning plates from 6am to 8pm. But things could be worse.

Thank you for asking ☺️
Are you a twin mum?

Yes I was on the thread earlier but I name change quite a lot.
My twins are three now and starting nursery 3 days a week in September and I remember so well how hard it is at that age.

I find it comes in waves - really hard work where I cried multiple times a day and wondered if I was cut out for this (I have a 7 yr old too) and then it might get easier for a few weeks whilst they learned a new skill or developed in some way, and then back to a wave of crippling hard work again.

So glad to hear things are improving. I am going through a hard wave at the moment.

And YES to the spinning plates - we say that all the time here

@FamilyGredunza oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a hard spell! Are you just holding on for September? A new routine might help. Dreaded summer first though 😅

I definitely am expecting waves of easy and hard. So it doesn’t surprise me you’ve said that. I’m not even getting excited about having more sleep as I know the dreaded four month regression is coming.

This thread (and a couple of others) have been so useful in talking to other twin mums. People that just get it.

Mine are toddlers now, but in the first few months I used to fantasise about collapsing from exhaustion and getting a few nights to sleep in hospital 😂I found it grim but we just hung on for dear life until we made it out the other side to the fun stuff. I fed mine separately when they were tiny to try and focus on the winding etc but sometimes nothing works and you just have keep at it! Also found I had to ask for/accept help in a way I’d never done with my first which was hard for me but worth it. Hang in there!

Thanks @NY152 the irony is, I don’t even fantasise about that because I’d be leaving the three of them with my husband and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy 😅

Well, they got a lot worse after that opening post. You’ve just not lived until you’ve dealt with weeks of colicky twins eh. But actually, they’re getting easier. Or maybe I’m getting better at coping? We are about 4.5 months now. We have a bed time, so DH and I have evenings. And they don’t take too long to rock to sleep now which has helped; there’s a lot less in the way of overtired cranky babies. Plus the eldest is about to start preschool which will be a godsend.

I need to work out how to leave the house with them… that’s my next challenge. I did it a bit in the early days as I could be confident they would sleep. But obviously they sleep less out and about now. If I’m out walking the dog and one kicks off then it’s fine, but I don’t want it to happen when I’m with others as no one wants to watch me struggle I’m sure! Hoping my friends will remember who I am when I’m confident enough to socialise again.

Twin mum here, mine are 14 now and it really does get easier. Accept all offers of help and enjoy your babies.

Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly if you’ve got your evenings back! Well done to you! 👏

Please can I join?

My twins are now three and starting pre school next week. I have a six year old too and my husband goes to work at 5am and I already feel so nervous about school runs on my own next week.

I work part time too and honestly just want to crawl under a rock at the thought of how much work term times will be in the mornings.

Plus making pack-up for three is just

DT’s are now 23. Accept any help offered and keep asking. We don’t have any family in the uk but my MIL was a teacher and flew over during the summer they were born. My parents flew in each weekend. My MIL did the night feeds and got us into a good routine.

Our cleaner was a huge help as she did extra hours filling up the freezer with meals.

We put them into separate rooms at six months as they were waking each other up. I went back to full time work when they were six months old and the nursery routine made life easier. We used a sleep trainer when they were eight months (although there sleep was always good) which helped with reliable sleep for every one.