I'm feeling bruised and vulnerable after a couple of comments from mums of singletons. I feel like they just don't get what it's like for me with my DTs.
My DTs are 20 months and they are brilliant, obviously. We go to a weekly music class and every week my two toddlers spend part of the class exploring the far corners of the room, hiding their tambourines under chairs, standing right in front of the teacher etc, etc. The teacher is fine with this and says it's to be expected at this age. Nevertheless I leave the class every week feeling as if I've failed.
The other children mostly sit quietly in their mums' laps throughout the class. One of the mums is someone from my NCT group and she commented one week that she would rather have her DS the way he is, sitting quietly, than 'like your two'. 
I'm starting to dread the music lesson, even though the DCs enjoy it and are getting a lot out of it. I guess I feel judged and worry that my DTs are out of control and I should be managing them better. They honestly are not out of control, they just like to explore. I manage them fine most of the time, but making them both sit still for 45 minutes is beyond me!
It's not the only 
comment from this particular mum. I once told her that I found it hard work to get me and the DTs out and into town for 9.30 in the morning. She very sincerely asked me if I needed to get out of bed earlier. She honestly meant to be helpful, but she just doesn't get it. She has admitted previously that she is prone to saying things which sound unintentionally bitchy, but still.
There have been a few other singleton mums who've said things which I thought were a bit off. A different NCT mum said breastfeeding her DS was so tough that she would rather have breastfed twins as it would be easier. I'm sure she had a really hard time, but why does she have to compare it to my experience? Whatever I did has no impact on her and her baby.
Music class mum is also always asking questions about what words other children can say and how they sleep and whether other mums are doing date nights with their partners. I often feel a bit icky after these conversations, like I've been used somehow.
I guess I am just feeling a bit vulnerable and picking up some kind of competitiveness or something from mums of singletons. With toddler DTs, no family help and a DH who works long hours I am honestly just grateful to enjoy part of each day and survive all of it. I do not have the energy to be competitive. And comments like these just make me feel isolated.
I actually feel better for having written all this down. And any words of encouragement from other mums of multiples will be gratefully received. X