Help! & a bit of support please

[Mimi333]

I'm 31 weeks with twins and just hoping for a bit of help & advice please.

My dad passed away a couple of months ago and Ive been struggling to feel excitement about the twins without him here to meet them & see them grow up. I feel like it's a waste of this incredible miracle if he's to miss out on it. I've been having some grief counselling and she said yesterday that it's inevitable that I am going to feel sad when they arrive (along with other emotions) but she said I need to get practically prepared so it's one less thing to add to any emotions when they arrive.

So what I'm asking for is the essentials I need to have now?

So far I have 2 baby carseats. I have a toddler who I EBF for 10 months but I don't want to put any pressure on myself so I have bought lots of bottles and formula already. I do have lots of clothes but I probably need more teeny baby stuff. I have lots of newborn nappies (but perhaps I need more!).

Sleep wise I have a cot that needs to be put together (but no mattress), 2 moses baskets, and the promise of 2 chico next to me cribs on loan... I don't know which to choose to set up in my bedroom?

I don't have a double pushchair yet although have my eye on the bugaboo donkey unless anyone has any horror stories!

Thanks in advance for any one that has any advice or any words of wisdom to make their arrival as smooth as possible on my mental state!

This message really touched me thank you! It gives me great comfort that they still want to hear the same stories. Last night I put my DS to bed & he started talking about a night where a friend had put him to bed & we had gone out. He said 'mummy & daddy come back later' to which I said 'we will always come back for you, we won't leave you'. He then (completely out of the blue) said 'Where's Pops?' So in his mind he must be thinking 'but Pops left & didn't come back'. I always stutter as I haven't quite got the right story to tell him yet about death but I said something around him getting older & having to leave us. He said 'loves me very much though' as I've reiterated it to him & I said 'yes he loves you so very much'. Just surprises me how much they remember & pick up on at 2 years old.

I find accepting help so hard but you're right, I will need to learn how to. My MIL is still having my DS 2 days a week even though I'm on mat leave & it makes me feel so uncomfortable that I'm lying on the sofa at home while she's chasing him around. I am struggling to walk now so I do need her to, I just feel so guilty! She even offered to pick him up & drop him off the other day & I even though I was about to protest I just thought, I need to start accepting these offers.
Thank you for that great advice.

I also love what you're saying about the photo book & what you would do for your friend in a similar situation - you really sound like a wonderful person & friend to have

Thank you!! Xx

Aw, thank you. You really sound like you are doing all the right things. It is great that your MIL is having your son still. When I got to 33 weeks my childminder's husband looked at me and said 'I'll bring DS1 back in the evenings now.' I was too shattered to even pretend I didn't want him to!

I know you're feeling guilty about it, but it is probably actually more fun for him to be able to be active, and it is really important that you get to rest. Growing two whole people is a tough endeavour!

Hang in there!

I just can't believe the difference I feel from my first pregnancy, even though it makes perfect sense if you are carrying double the weight! DS1 is definitely having more fun at nursery/MILs - the other day I couldn't face getting off the sofa so made him play hide & seek with his teddy! Awful mum.

Thank you again for all your help xx

Ha! I invented a game about hiding from a bear. It involved me sitting on my bed with the washing basket on my head saying 'oh no the bear is coming now'. Made no sense but involved a lot of sitting down. I figured that a healthy fear of bears would do him no harm...