d'ya every wonder how life carried on and on and on.....

[Kelly1978]

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Too much waffling, you know who you are

I jsut wanted to psot to say good luck hm, hope you can hold out, but it really sounds like things are moving. Jsut think you could be cuddled upw ith your baby by tomorrow morning!

Glad to hear dt2 is better, fg.

Hi marie, course you can! Its a thread that travels all over the place and we're usually on it throughout the day. Most of us on here already have twins (mine are 2), Doris has just had hers and Leo is due.... soon.... pixi's arrived just last week so it could be sometime before she gets back to us. Welcome.

thanks, i think il be on here quite a bit coz of the having to rest so its good to here about all ur experiences with twins! it will help me perpare for my bundles of joy (or trouble, il have to let u no!

Hi Marie, welcome to the madhouse

Thanks to you all for your words of wisdom and advice. I will be carrying a stash of cereal bars and fruit with me in the car to serve the dual purposes of getting food in them and keeping them awake til we get home! Hopefully we will settle into somesort of a routine after a coupld of weeks

DH is doing my head in today, I can't wait for him to go back to work and let us all get back to normal

that's more like it, an evening in on my own with a nice big box of chocs and a bit of online retail therapy

hi Marie. Will post later. DS1 keen to get online!

HI all, welcome Marie.
Hope you are well, FG, did you get things resolved between you and dp?

Kelly how are you feeling?

I am afraid I have been off line recently, as I sometimes am when I am really not coping well. Actually sometimes I am online more when I am finding the dts hard, as a way of escaping them.
Just find it really hard to play with them atm when we are at home, its just too much like hard work
I think I need a proper break from them, but that aint gonna happen. The help I get from Mum is very hit and miss atm, I know I am lucky that she does help, but its always very last minute and not particularly reliable, so not without problems.
They are so destructive, thats all I can say really. I am sick of them hurting each other, breaking every thing, squabbling, screaming, throwing my food on the floor. Making every thing so sodding difficult etc etc
Dh is finding them a nightmare too, he is trying but I think he can't wait to get out of the front door in the morning and I feel so abandoned, thrown to the lions den really.
Sorry to have a whinge, I know I should read through the thread and catch up with peoples news, but needed to get that off my chest right now

Overrun, rant on honey, your house is my house.....and as Mars will be at pains to point out this is where we can do that.

If it helps any, it really is quite the same in my house. I jump on here to escape the strains, I hate when they argue over toys and when DD screams "its not fair, they got more than me zzzzzz". It is exhausting and I was just thinking today how much I've lost the zip I used to have. The enthusiasm for lots of things. It feels enough just to get through the day and sleep.

AND, if it helps any then I am trying to claw back some time. I don't have time for swimming but if my granny needed me I'd be there in a flash so...... I do have time for swimming, and I have time to make myself go swimming and I have time to treat myself like my child and say this is good for me. Do you have any free time at all in the week? Stay strong.

Did you see on the other thread that ggglimpopo's little girl has passed away in her sleep? (age 2) This keeps it all in perspective. We are worn out and worn down and fed up and exhausted and beat up and thrown out and unappreciated. But our children are alive and safe and full of spirit and thats really important.

Frumpy , I haven't seen GGG's thread. Was the poor little one ill? Its unbearable to think about it.

Frumpy, I am now 30+4 pregnant, so a few weeks to go ! I am really being pampered by dh at the moment (despite him feeling miserable with a bad cold), making the most of it while i can! He is in awe of how well I am coping physically and emotionally with the pregnancy, quite proud of myself as well and the hospital appointment gave me a new boost (although i do have my bad moments )!

Its 'funny' reading your posts today about how your dts fight etc, my mother was just telling me yesterday how twins are so easy because they always play so well together and never fight !
Actually, Mars, talking about my mother she has decided that she wants to become a duola, I think she would be very good at it (despite being completely useless with us), she is a retired nurse with 6 children, 2 were born at home (she said she would have had us all at home but in 'those' days they wouldn't let her!). Any advice you can give her or websites, contacts to help her get the right training and get started.

Leo mine are being pretty lovely at the moment and playing very nicely together but I don't want to jinx it so don't tell anyone!

I've reread my post and feel crap that I asked if ggg's dd was ill. Its the first thing that came to mind, but actually I think it is irrelevant and wouldn't make the heartbreak and devastating feelings any less if she was or not !

I don't know what the history of GGG's daughter was, I think someone said she was asthmatic but not sure. The thread is here

oh gosh I just read the thread about GGGs daughter. How absolutely devastating.

I was going to ask for advice about getting the DTs to sleep in their big beds but think I will wait until later. Seems very trite in comparison.

Thanks fg, yeah I have read the thread about ggg's daughter, your worse nightmare come true I guess.
Leo, if I had a penny every time someone says that twins are easy because they play together, god I would be a millionaire.
I am sure some do, but most of them fight a lot, because they are going to be pretty competitive. Esp non identical boys, which is what I have
Still sibling rivalry is always there, nothing is going to change that I guess.

This is the book you need HarrogateMum

Leo... this is for your mum Where is she based?

Overrun......... it will get better. It will it will it will!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to believe that otherwise I'd send them up for adoption. Still, they'll be 3 in a few weeks. This too will pass.... this too will pass!

Cutting and running again. Just home from watching DS1's rugby match in the mud and the rain. Now taking him across London to his cousin's birthday party!

Kisses to you all!

HM do you mean getting them in to big beds for the first time or getting them to stay there? Both I guess! Anyway, this my experience FWIW...

We put DTs in their big beds just before they were 2 and haven't had major problems as they were quite excited about it and we nade a really big deal of the whole thing, you're big girls now not babies etc...but one was a bit of an escapee and we just had to persevere with rapid return and it only really went on a few nights. They have the Tommy Tippee bed guards on to keep them in and in general I would say they sleep better in their beds than they did in their cots.

On the other hand I have a friend with non ID boys who have led her a bit of a merry dance since moving into beds - climbing up and hiding on the window sill behind the curtain so she couldn't find them...opening the door and locking themselves in the bathroom where she found one in the sink and the other happily smearing him with toothpaste so good luck

Overrun, I have the same non - id boys.....

Mars - thanks for the book recommendation!

Lapin - yes it is beds for the first time. We put them in there last night, they both just got out over and over again so ended up in separate rooms in their cots as we were so shattered (perhaps doing it witha 5 week old baby around was not the best time...).

This afternoon when they had their nap DT1 stayed in his bed and DT2 wouldnt so he went back into the cot. Tonight we kept it very quiet, low lighting, read them a story and again DT1 has stayed in his bed (and fingers crossed is asleep), DT2 has gone back in the cot as he refused to stay in the bed. I hope that after a few nights he will see the appeal (he seems to want to be in his cot) and all will be well again.

Someone tell me it only takes a few nights???

Well at least you're half way there HM! Hopefully DT2 will follow soon. It is hard to see them as separate entities sometimes and I often forget that not all children do things at the same age and twins are no different...

Incidentally, mine wouldn't entertain a daytime nap once they had beds rather than cots, though they always fall asleep if we're out in the car/buggy and sometimes in front of the TV after lunch. The only time they will sleep in beds in the day is if they're ill

The book is wonderful, do buy it. One of his suggestions for good sleeping routine is "you can have the door open a little if you get into bed and stay in bed, if you get out the door gets shut". Wokred a treat for my DD when I first put her in a big bed and she enjoyed travelling throughout the house for fun!

ooh fg yes that technique definitely works, we did but I'd forgotten about it, we don;t have the book though, must have thought of it all on my own

Thanks for the link Mars, she is based in Norwich.

HM, good luck! I can't add anything helpful but will tell you that ds was great at falling asleep before we moved him out of his cot (we would let him cry himself to sleep knowing he couldn't get out if he wouldn't settle himself), its been up and down since then though. I have sometimes resorted to restraining him in my arms until he given up, cries and almost falls asleep, when he will say 'bed, bed, bed' before I put him down. I think he's a bit younger than your dts though isn't he (22 months) and of course doesn't have another one to encourage him! Telling him if he didn't stay in bed he would have ot go into the baby bed is also a threat that helped keep him in bed.

We had a very bizarre and worrying day yesterday. DS was easy to look after, a model child and for the first time since he was born I spent time on my own with him without getting frustrated, exhausted, impatient and stressed! dh took him to the supermarket and he was quite happy to stay sitting in the trolley the whole time(he usually tries to climb out and then runs riot). And in the afternooon when I was on my own with him he actually played quietly and happily on his own and I managed to cook dinner and do some clearing up , I hope we have turned a corner and this is the start of things to come. I feel that if he is like this even one day a week (when he is home with me) I will be able to cope much better with the twins and him and enjoy the time I spend with him much more . Not sure how its going today though as i have spent most of the morning in bed !

The was supposed to be a big !

I'm here really!

DH has had the modem connected to his laptop since my last post before Xmas - tried to send Xmas greetings to everyone, but couldn't muster the energy to reconnect modem... did everyone have a good Xmas and new year? Haven't had time to look through the posts since my last visit. DH now happily ensconced in the shop and today has taken DD to the zoo! Hurrah! So boys asleep downstairs, and I'm supposedly working... but couldn't stop coming to say hi first.

I'm also going to do a quick birth story here as I think I have about an hour before being required again

So! Here it is. Went in to to hosp on Thursday 19th for induction at 2pm. Had pessary, contractions got going, and at 5ish midwife asked when I wanted to go upstairs to delivery to have waters broken. Immediately told her that I wasn't doing anything so silly as having my waters broken and that I'd only agreed to come in for the pessary. She went away and came back and said well OK, just this time (I think she may have gone for a chat with lovely obs who probably raised her eyes and said leave her to it!). Contractions strong and sometimes double by 8ish (nice), then up to delivery at 10 with young nice midwife. Friend and DH both with me all through. By 3am I was getting pretty tired and fed up, DH, friend and midwife not talking to me enough during contractions, but still coping OK. Did a VE and found I was only 3cm dilated - thought it was much more, so rather disappointed, but decided it was because I was rather scared about birthing twins. Had a bit of a pyschoanalysis period for half an hour with very few contractions; midwife suggested we break waters and as I was tired and had had the same happen with DD I agreed to it. Then decided we couldn't do it yet because the SHO was busy doing two c-sections and wanted to be free in case I needed him. By 7am I slept for half an hour, and at 8 they started to try to break waters. DT1's head was pressing down on the sac surprisingly, so it was difficult to do, but the slightly rough SHO did it eventually. I think the midwife was very good at theory but was a bit young and inexperienced practically to be doing twins.

I was monitored every 20 minutes or so all the way through, by two midwives standing or kneeling next to me as I was on my feet all the time.

At 9 the shift changed and i had a lovely, lovely midwife who understood that I needed to be talked to, particularly when I was demanding a c-section (transition, which DH would have known had he listened to me before we started!). Then laboured for an hour or so; got to bearing down stage but nothing moving; lovely mw got me to have a pee in a paper pot and hey presto DT1 starts coming down. Took it very slowly (I rushed DD) and it was good. He plopped out while I was balanced on a birthing stool, friend in front in tears, DH behind supporting me, lovely mw catching. Wonderful birth! Although I did realise that I could probably do surregacy if needed ever, as I really am not interested in my children when they first appear. Nice mother!

Was immediately hurried onto the bed to monitor DT2 and to feed DT1. Feeding didn't go brilliantly as I was contracting still for DT2 and I didn't want to be distracted. Contractions were about 8 minutes apart I think. SHO came in, scanning machinery arrived, lovely mw keeping quiet whilst monitoring FHB, friend cuddling DT1, DH holding hand. Then ER started! SHO wanted to do version and then realised I was only on gas and air, and I think he took fright. Obs (not my usual one) arrived to discuss situation; I held out for 45 mins on the "let us do it ourselves, we're fine" spiel, but eventually I got fed up with arguing. SHO at one point said, "Do you realise what might happen?", to which I replied in a slightly irritated manner, "Yes, of course, he might die!" That was our moment of high ER drama! Anyway, scan showed his cord was high and so not likely to prolapse, feet were coming down first, they'd left it too late to do a version, so the obs came and told me that as it was urgent to get DT2 out before it became an emergency, and would I consider having an "assisted breach delivery" with a spinal anaesthetic. I agreed on the premise that they wouldn't use instruments, wouldn't do a c-section and would get it all ready extremely quickly as I'd been wanting to push DT2 out for the last half hour. She agreed to all my demands and everyone relaxed as recalcitrant mother began to do as she was told.

So wheeled in to theatre, lovely anaesthetist did his stuff, pain went, lovely mw still there, DT1 with Daddy (who doesn't do blood!), friend holding hand, all very jolly, DT2 out in 2 goes, covered in poo from neck to foot and managed to cover doctor (who, in my opinion, deserved it all!), obs told doc what to do and was great, over a dozen people wandering about and it was all rather interesting in a very english kind of detached way!

Back to delivery room, fed both boys then tucked them up in the cot, fed self, Mum and DD arrived, general doting, Mum and DD departed, DH and I sit and relax a bit, chat a little, then he realises he needs to go home because a guy's coming round to buy the car! So just me and the DTs, legs coming back to life, nice nurse helped me to shower and went down to post natal ward about 7ish.

I'd suggest to all other expecting twin mums to get cot sides put on the hospital bed and to steal all the pillows you can from the other beds so you can all snuggle in together without falling out! Started feeding both boys together that night, and haven't looked back. Met a very good friend for breakfast with her DS on Saturday morning - we conceived the same weekend and birthed the same day! Had a few visitors on Saturday, and had all the checks done, but didn't want to go home til Sunday which was a good decision as I wasn't waiting all day for everyone to finish all the tests and stuff.

Tried to get the mws to help with feeding, but they were too busy and didn't want to help me wake sleeping babies... So I let them go and woke sleeping babies anyway. Came home Sunday lunchtime to a house with no lunch, and in the afternoon three extra grandparents to feed... Mum got fish and chips in the end. You'd think one of them might have realised that food would have been a good thing to have organised. Hey ho!

Phew! That's it! Is it horribly long? Probably not the best place to be posting it, but don't have time to look for the correct place and would rather have it lost in amongst our normal chats.

Back to normal stuff, does anyone have any advice on breastfeeding? DT2's weight gain has dropped off slightly (was above 50th centile, now just above 25th), and I'd like to get some more milk into him but think I'm not quite producing enough - any ideas? I'm drinking about a gallon of water a day, and eating fairly well. Rest is obviously not really on the cards!

Now must read Pixi's last few posts to see how she was before she went in. It was so good to meet her before Xmas - would love to meet up with more of you!

xx
Doris

oooooh, that's long... Just so you know what you're in for there, it's the birth story, unedited and unproofed! If you don't have time to go through the tome, please could you look at the last paragraph or so? Just a little "helup" cry. Thanks!

D

Devon do you want to email me? Then I can give you my number and we can talk through the feeding. I'm reasonably sure it's nothing complicated.. but I have the advantage of having lots of advice at my fingertips.

Alternatively (or as well) you can put a shout out for tiktok who will be able to give you amazing advice.

lovelymarslady at aol dot com

Fantastic birth story, though the doula in me wished I was there (esp when you said that they weren't talking to you enough) but I was relieved to read about the good midwife who recognised transition.

Pixi hasn't posted yet, but all is well. She's sleeping a lot (which is a good thing) and her and the babies are well. The whole family sound like they are coping. I'm hoping to get down to see them (without my brood) next week.

Incidentally... you probably are producing enough.