D'ya ever wonder if you could still do the twist and not actually wet yourself in the process?

[shabbs]

New thread my friends xxx

We cant love - it makes me want to sob. Tom hasn't got a part time job - there is nothing - work wise - around here. He is coming to the end of a 2 year Btec extended diploma in IT. He has worked his nuts off at college. Got a lot of apprenticeships information for him yesterday. Oh I dont know - dont know what is going to happen.....all I know is I dont know what to do. I watch all these programmes on telly about benefit scroungers and then look at our situation......It feels like I live in the world of the hopeless, the sad and the trying to make do.

This is not the life I dreamed of. I cannot remember the last time I had anything new.....clothes, shoes etc etc. Oh yes I can I had a new dress when our Dan & Em got married. I wore it for my Dads funeral.

Feel like running away.....but I cant.

I appreciate your friendship and love so much xxxx

Sorry meant to say that we get 130 quid for the 3 of us and then CB and CTC for Tom which amounts to 80 quid a week. In a couple of months we will just get the 130 quid a week. xx

Wish I could do more Shabs, you know I would. Would you not consider a part time job, it would get you out of the house, give you some company, I havent a clue what the rules are about how much you can earn without it affecting your benefits, probably ends up not worth it. I sometimes think I would like a job, get me out of here, then I feel Ive got enough to cope with three teens and a poorly dh. Dunno!!

Listening to my moaning is enough Trips xxx

We get housing benefit which means our rent and council tax are paid - so really when you take that into account we do get more - just not in our hand...but its better than us having it - its paid directly to the Housing association and the council tax people.

If I get a part time job that will mean that we have to pay part of the rent and council tax. I have never claimed Carers allowance since DH had his accident at work and was 'laid off.' The advisor, yesterday, said to apply for it. She said that even if we have to pay some housing benefit it will still be worth it - so I am going to trawl through the forms and see if we can raise a bit more cash that way.

oh aint life grand?

The gov really don't make it easy for people who do want to work who need benefits to survive.

Carers doesn't affect housing too badly, as there is a premium added on to what you are entitled to as a carer. But it would affect your tax credits - so it might be worth looking into a bit more :(

Will do Chops - thanks for the advice xx

So where is everyone? Lovely day here today, really sunny, makes you feel better! Hope all is ok..............its too quiet! x

I've been loving the sun! 33 miles friday and 23 miles on Sat on the bike, then ran 6 miles yest morning before coming back to make a birthday lunch for BIL's 30th. Then we went out in the evening with all the family.

Shame it's looking rather duller today. I have to ride 25 out miles for some route planning, but I might be tempted to get the train back if it's too miserable out!

I've been busy retrieving whole toilet rolls from the toilet (thanks james), taking the kids to the park as it has generally been such lovely weather and taking dh to pick up some ski bits he won on eBay - 2 pairs of boots, child sallopettes and jacket plus sallopettes for him for under a tenner!

Afternoon girls.........just done the most disgusting job, cleaned under the toilet rim..........and as for behind the toilet, bloody boys should be aiming straight by now! Also just washed the kitchen/diner floor. I thought I would do two grotty jobs this morning then treat myself to an hour out in the sun............except its gone!! Supposed to be really nice here today. I wish with all my heart I could get you to Faliraki Shabs, think we will be in the same boat this year.........really cannot afford to do much. Times 5 is a nightmare! Well its countdown until Sun, I am truly going to miss Thomas, my stomach is in knots already. He isn`t saying much, he must be a little anxious........such a big step in his life.........boo hoo......wish dk was going instead :o

Hiya xx

I understand what you mean about your Thomas - I would be just the same Trips - but Im also excited for him - he has a future. He has a purpose and a goal. I wouldnt be saying this if it was one of mine So few of this age group have a settled future, doing something they enjoy. Please give him a sneaky hug from me and tell him, well done and the very best of luck for his future - which I am sure will be a bright one. Where did our babies go Trips???

The dog has come into season - oh the joy!!! LOL - going to get this one over and done with and then our local PDSA are spaying dogs (if you are on housing benefit, which we are) for about £20 - so will be making an appointment for her asap She has spent the last hour trying to 'hump' my arm - what a floozy!!

Nothing else to report to be honest! Except in April it will be one year since we lost my precious Dad. That has gone so fast. xx

Oh Trips! Think of all the adventures Thomas will be getting up to and look forward to when he is home and telling you about them.

Why do you always end up with extra washing when the machine breaks down? Poor James woke us up last night being sick all over his bed. So that's him off school and a trip to my parents today to get it washed. Couldn't inflict it on my neighbours machine.

Morning.......feeling shocked. Dya know when sometimes you are envious of others who seem to have it all? I have a friend I have met only once, she has triplets a week younger than mine, g/b/b. They have money, nice life style, kids are all having driving lessons, have all been bought their first car. So yes I get envious esp when she keeps posting pics on FB, and she is much younger than me and very glam! Now I feel bad, she has posted this morning and her dh had a massive heart attack last night, they performed emergency surgery and he is critical:( Makes you stop and think doesnt it?

hi, sorry for skipping the thread lately, but I am back!!
Shabbs - I am going through the claim process with the PIP, I have been sent an appointment in the next 26 weeks apparently to review if I am eligible, by then I should be recovered fully from the surgery, hopefully the radiotherapy will have finished and that and the pills will have done their job, and I will be found to be ineligible for anything Please go forward with the carers claim, I think that you will end up slightly better off
Trips -I don't know what to say, you are struggling with so many things atm, but you have bought up 3 lovely intelligent, talented children, you have given Tom the confidence to seek a future he craves with a maturity beyond his years, and I know the other 2 will do so as well.
Soks - how are you getting on with getting a full diagnosis and statement for your James? Hopefully that will lead to more help for both him and you, glad the others are fairly settled.
Chops - you are obviously enjoying leading the breeze groups, and seem to have settled nicely in your new home
Hi also HM, my 2 are a pain in the neck with meals as well, neither like cheese unless it's on a pizza, ditto for tomatoes. Yesterday I stood and cooked as poor DH has been getting tired, and I was also getting a bit fed up with his limited menus, I did a stir fry, which all like, but still ended up making 3 slightly different ones and adding noodles to them each at different stages one with just meat and carrots for J, them M, who has that, but add in basic veg and beansprouts until I finally finish ours, where all veg, sprouts, water chestnut etc can be added, made a simple, and should have been quick meal into a long drawn out process
Boys are driving me mad with their quarrelling, and I have both their parents evening tomorrow and options evening to attend next week, why can't they schedule them for the same night I don't know. M is excited, as they have on their options a course which includes 1 day a week doing engineering and design at collage, and J wants to do the catering option, but is worried he will be the only boy. I have told him if being a chef is what you want to do, don't let that put you off.
Where have my babies gone, I now have two hulking lads (no more worries from them about being short, they are growing swiftly to catch up with their size 8 hobbit feet!!) who are shaving, voices are breaking, and talking seriously about what they want to do when they leave school

Still waiting... In regular contact with Hv who's chasing things up for us continuously.

James is muddling along. Good and bad days. He was off school sick yesterday. Spent all day pretty much watching one of his thomas DVDs on repeat. Today he was back at school. It was his class trip to the farm. He apparently didn't enjoy the day. All because one of the girls drank his drink. I think only a little. But enough that it's the one thing he has talked about for far too long. I eventually got out of him that he'd held a piglet

Aww "held a piglet" how sweet is that? :)
Bubbs been abit worried about you so very very glad to have you back! Thank you for your kind words when you have such a lot on your plate atm. How are YOU feeling ? Its been a really weird start to the year hasnt it, not liking it much so far! Shabs, cannot believe it will soon be a year that your lovely Dad died, that has gone by so quickly, my God time is scary. My friends husband is going to be ok, still in hospital an will be on medication for the rest of his life, certainly was a big shock. I have a rare docs apt in the morning, hardly ever go, I have had stiffness and on/off pain in my left foot for weeks now. Its not that bad that it makes me yell but its uncomfortable, hoping they will x-ray it. Trying not to think to much about Sun, keep telling myself he will be back in 6 weeks for a holiday, keep telling myself its a wonderful opportunity etc.........keep telling myself not to cry. Its strange at our greatly advanced age that we have a child who has left school and is going off into the big wide world, its exciting.............but I am feeling incredibly sad. And I know why. Matthew, and I could cry just typing his name. Did you know Thomass middle name is Matthew? I feel scared to le him go...........yet I must. Such mixed emotions, my stomach is churning, I feel full of aches and pains and wonder if its anxiety that's causing it. Could somebody get the drinks trolley out please?

I am getting on ok, start the radiotherapy in 2 weeks, my back is healing surprising quickly, and the incisions from the surgery are small, neat and healing well. I actually feel a bit of a fraud sitting and doing relatively little. I am doing some of the washing, as it has been building up and worrying me, dh tells me off, but,frankly he is exhausted a lot of the time. If I do a little bit at a time I'm ok. its the bending over thats not too brilliant, butvi use the grab stick and also drag the basket s across the floor. Also I am doing a bit of vacuuming and cooking.

Morning girls xx

Oh Trips I know what you mean....I feel that way when my Tom goes to college. I imagine that he wont be careful on the main road, then that the bus will crash. Then he crosses over two supermarket car parks to get to the college - WHY? There is a safe crossing right in front of college. My mind works overtime and wont stop. Its impossible to describe the feeling that the loss of a child has, with regards to their siblings....the never ending anxious state. All the time my brain argues with itself - tells itself to stop being pathetic...sometimes, though, I am too emotionally tired to pin on a smile.

Good to see you Bubs. xxx

Hey girls xx

I am knackered - did a ten mile run today. Last long run before Reading half marathon next week. Not trained nearly enough really, due to lack of time and various injuries but hopefully will make it around. Tomo I take a group of ladies to Windsor - fingers crossed the weather holds - it's been threatening heavy rain for the past few days.

Poor J is having a rough time atm. He has been having more frequent bouts of diarrhoea and we now know he has an issue with glutin. He's being tested for coeliac disease. He has also had a lot of pain in his joints, which isn't entirely typical of hms - he is waking up sore, etc, so they suspect he may have juvenile arthritis. :(

Oh Chops, I hope it comes back as negative and is just severe growth pains.
Went to parents evening tonight - reoccurring theme with every teacher we saw for both boys - they are kind, well liked and enthusiastic learners in class, and could do well in GCSE s in the subjects they want to pick as their options, but their big downfall is their lack of organisation and doing revision and homework! I don't know what else to do as this has been a big problem their whole school life so far, and we have tried everything from positive reward systems to removal of tech and privaleges. The teachers have said you often find that when boys actually start learning subjects they actually want to do with options, this problem resolves itself- I hope so!!

Oh, and good luck on Saturday Chops!!

Girls, its nice to see some activity on our thread, its been a bit sparse of late! Well docs was a waste of time, she examined my foot and said she hadnt a clue so is referring me to the podiatry dept at our local hospital, the one that poor Mum went to when she developed gangrene and they didnt treat it properly! Anyway, felt very sad and fed up, so at 6pm had two ibuprofen washed down with two large Tio Pepes...............and hey presto, been pain free all evening..................whats that telling me? They should do Tio on prescription! Bubbs, do be careful you don`t over do it, how much radiotherapy are you going to have? Chops, thank you for oiling the trolley, kept meaning to do it!

Bubby - in my humble opinion that is 'boys for you' - dont forget that a boy will eventually be a husband and a man.....someone who counts on his wife/partner to look after him.

Mitzy (the stupid dog) is in season!!!!!! For gods bloody sake! We are ending week 1 and on Monday will move into the 'I WANT A BOY DOG RIGHT THIS MINUTE' type of situation!! Our local PDSA are doing a free 'snip your bits' month - so the minute this stops I will be taking her there She is miserable, moaning, over eating and has massive attitude - sounds like me LOL. This is her first season....stupid bloody dog

Morning girls, suns just come up over the roof top, looks like another lovely day. Hoping my foot doesn`t kick off when I get myself out of this bed..............right now!

Hmm.........foot seems a little better, bought some deepfreeze cold gel from Poundland, hope it is sorting itself out. Well Thomas is finally packed, everything labelled, all the paper work he needs, done. And I could cry my eyes out :(