D'ya ever wonder... [enter witty phase here]

[MultipleMama]

We fill these up fast!

Oh and I picked her up a used apple mac cos she has broken two computers. Was really chuffed with it, decent computer and hopefully a bit more reliable that the windows machines that she managed to break. She looked at it, turned her nose up at it, and went off to bid on much newer models on eBay. Of course she got outbid, and J and so the boys are having the mac I got! She will have to keep traipsing down the library to use the computers there :P

Thanks Chops, remind me how old you dd is? Tbh my dd has bee like this for 4 years and absolutely no sign of it changing, its sooo hard with worrying about dh and having two more teens to sort out, life I must say is very hard work atm.

she is 14. I think it has worsened over the past 6 months, def. She is all sweetness and light this morning, def after something! Prob wants to be ungrounded before it interferes with her plans for tomo and sat.

Honestly trips, it WILL pass. I was exactly the same as a teen, and I turned out ok, I think

How is your dh?

d'y know, really she did a classic Kevin. Looking back thru photos, and I can see the last time she was genuinely happy to be out with me, and not constantly texting her friends was back in June 2013. Shortly after that she got her first bf. And now we have this..

Have seen your other thread now too. R can't stand shay in particular. Calls him the devil child and openly tells him how much she hates him. We've had tears when she has had to be in the same room as him. I think she is a bit jealous of him tbh. She feels he gets away with a lot, he is a handful but he is also only 9 so behavioural expectations are a bit different.

I wonder if your R is a bit jealous of her brothers with all the fantastic Corps things they do and you obviously being so proud of them?

Wow. I admire your restraint and backbone, ladies! I have all this to come and I remember how I used to be! . I think most of it was due to being depressed and bullied during my first 3 years of high school. I was so nasty and horrible! I only settled down, became I was and am today, when I met DH and developed a massive crush on him!

I'm sure it'll pass, how's her food habits these days, Trips? I think I can remember you saying she wouldn't eat much of anything other than junk food.

Chops, does dd earn pocket money or stuff like that. She could save up for a cheapish laptop. I don't see why you should have to keep folking out for something she keeps on breaking. And to break something that many times is careless and little respect for property. I bet your boys are chuffed with the Mac

I am so horrible at advice! Xx

she has a paperound. I have told her if she saved up some we would match it and get her a laptop. But she keeps spending it on rubbish instead.

Tbh Chops I wish I hadnt posted on the other thread now. I asked for advice and got it, just read it all. Feeling a bit upset with Lemonys reply as I do try very hard to include her and its true that the boys are no trouble I cant say otherwise. She just doesnt want to do anything with us, fine if she can have her friend here. I am forever encouraging her with her art work, as you know she has recently left her school and gone to college which is 5 weeks has cost me £700 plus. I did it for her, let her go as I thought she would be happier. Oh I dont know!

aww trips {{{hugs}}}

They are only seeing the bit that you posted, and LP is only reading the negatives. I've seen the encouragement you have given R on facebook with her art, and the college thing. I do think she prob does feel a bit left out where the boys are concerned, it's a 2 against 1 thing, and she is a teenager, and a GIRL. I do feel you couldn't have dealt with it any better than you have, and it's NOT your fault.

I do honestly think you are doing the right thing. You have far more restraint and patience, and kindness with her than I do with my R, and I do think a lot of it is hormones and she will eventually come around.

I swear dd must have been reading my mind, cos we ended up having a bit of a heart to heart yesterday. It mainly went along the lines of,

dd-'I'm so hard done by, my friends all get xyz'.
me -Yes, but they don't get abc like you do.
dd - Oh. Yes. I'm sorry!

I know though really she is only making an effort cos she wanted to go out today and tomorrow. She is forfeiting one for coming home late though.

Thank you Chops........you are always so sweet to me. I came home at 6pm today from a family funeral to find dd and three of her friends all here with bags of make up etc getting ready for Halloween, they had taken over the entire kitchen/diner........tissue/wipes/fake blood everywhere! I patiently waited until 7pm to cook supper then they all went out trick or treating. 9.30pm the door bell goes and its dd and one of her friends, she has left her bag here. Then dd says she is walking her to the train station, she lives an hour away in Ashford! So dh says he will take them in the car. 5 mins later he phones, she had got the train times wrong, next train was not until 11.10pm! So back they all come and she tries to phone her parents who had gone out to Canterbury for the night, no reply. So I said she could stay here, it would be safer than traveling home alone, I would worry about her. But no, at 10.50pm they shout from the kitchen can Dad take us back to the station. Both of us were nodding off, I am still feeling yuk after this cold. So poor dh takes her and dd and waits until her train arrives. Must say I am worried about her, especially Halloween and the fact she is dressed as a zombie dripping with blood!! Kids!!

Afternoon. Mad house here. Will be glad when tomorrow finally gets here.

aww hope you are feeling a bit better now, trips x

Back to school now, soks?

Mine have gone back. It was a strange kind of half term with the boys away for most of it. Now back to frantic rushing about here, there and everywhere! Dd has a bonfire thing to go for, boys have extra x country training. I'm supposed to be up the school for a meeting 2n regarding the bulling, but I think I'm going to cancel and put it off til next week since dh can't get there and I have swim training straight after. With half term, and the boy in question having been off for a week, the issue hasn't even really been addressed yet.

Yep. Back to school. Half term started off so well and degenerated into chaos by mid week. Think plans being made and changed didn't help.

Still, fought James into his uniform and he did go in quite cheerfully so that's a good thing. Just got Joshua at home today as giving the inlaws a break after a later than expected babysitting day Saturday. Went to a friends wedding, which was truly beautiful. But there was a very long wait for the meal and dh and I did wonder if we'd have to leave before it was served.

Hi girlie's. Back from a lovely holiday with a disastrous end, but more about that later.
Mama, hope things are as okay as possible with Fee, take it hour by hour.
Trips - you are being the best, most supportive mum possible to your dd, and you too Chops, just keep on gritting your teeth and be there for her, and, I have been assured by other mums often girls, they will grow out of it.
Shabs- hope things going a bit better with you.
Slightly- the madness is just starting!

Well, here goes about the holiday - had a great time for most of it, with occasional bouts of selfish hissy fits from J and on one occasion, M.
DH had to see a Dr on island as he forgot his medication ( which he insisted he pack, and I packed everything else!), but the lovely Dr wrote on the invoice it was for a respiratory infection, so we will be able to claim fees back on insurance.
Then, on the flight home, disaster struck- 1/2 hr into the 4.5 hr flight home, the steward spilt a cup of boiling drink on my lap, and I have 2nd degree burns from my lower abdomen to the tops of my thighs. I spent the next 4 hrs in agony, a lot of it having cold water poured over me, and then was met by paramedics at Luton and taken straight to hospital. I am putting a pic up, but don't look if you are squeamish. Now just waiting for a solicitor to ring. By the way Luton airport staff are also crap at dealing with shocked and upset families of injured passengers, so be warned!

Bloody hell bubs! I do hope you are all as ok as you can be now and that your recovery is going well. I'm sure they should ban hot drinks, or serve them in those cups with lids, in such small spaces.

Need some advice here for me and Jen. Well, mostly Jen. I think today was the third, maybe 4th time preschool have commented to me on Jennifer's bruises recently. She is a very clumsy little girl and James does tend to push her around as well. But she does also get flipping covered in bruises. I've always put it down to her big brother being a bit too rough and her own adventurous streak - the other day she jumped across both sofa's before falling off at the other end - got up, shrugged and resumed her bouncing game. Plus a dose of hyper mobility (diagnosed) thrown in.

But clearly preschool are concerned, and I don't blame them. I know they have to do their job but it's horrible when the undertone of the conversation is actually one of child protection and I know we've done nothing wrong per say.

So, I've made an appointment at the Drs to discuss it with them. But what can I do with regards to reassuring preschool? They're happy for me to tell them each time she has a new bruise. But of course, that means I have to make time to scrutinise every piece of Jennifer and make notes as to which are new/old bruises and compare them each day.

bubby, that sounds horrendous! How on earth did it happen?! I'm glad at least most of your holiday was good though.

Soks, J bruises really easily too, I'm sure it must be linked to hypermobility. When he does bruise, they always seem to go massive too. It will get easier when she can explain them herself too. I think going to the GP is a good move, they can also do blood tests to rule out any reason for easily bruising, and I guess keep a diary of knocks and bumps. TBH though, drs can easily tell the difference between bruises caused by bumps and those caused by abuse, so I would try not to worry too much.

have they considered whether she has eds?

EDS causes easy bruising and digestive issues - both of which J has. Our paed discounted eds on account of his skin not being stretchy enough, but I've never been convinced and I'm pretty certain he does have it. It's not always easy to identify in genetic testing as the gene that causes it is unmapped.

Oh Bubbs poor poor you, it must have been agony, what day did this happen? Are you still in pain? After having such a lovely time too. xx

Trips-this happened on Saturday night on the flight home, I am still very sore, won't be able to work for several weeks with no sick pay, I have already been in contact with my union for their advice, and they have put me in touch with their solicitor, so a claim is already been started.

soks - the cup had a lid on, but my solicitor thinks it can't have been on properly for it to spill so easily.

Bubs, that's really not good that they couldn't even put a lid on properly. They don't come off that easily from memory as I let our big two drink their Costa chocolate with the lid on. Ouch!

Chops, thanks. Went to gp yesterday and they've referred us to peads for bloods to be done. Gp is happy it's normal toddler bruising (although was concerned she's bruising through her nappy). But preschool told me they counted 19 bruises on her legs alone that day. And the two massive bruises on her knees do look like bruise on bruise on bruise, and she fell on them again yesterday 3 times on the walk home!

Hey ladies.

Wow, bubs, you've had quite the trip. What a farce! Hope you're healing up nicely. Those lids are a pain in the ass to get off and on, so it seems very likely that the lid wasn't on probably, and they were too busy/too lazy to put it on properly as they were only "popping down the plane". I do hope you get something out of this, as it has impacted your life. Did they have a first aider on the plane with a first aid kit, including burn wraps and gel?

Hey Sok - it's good that your preschool are picking up on the bruises instead of ignoring them, but I can see how much of hassle it would be to inform the of every fall, of every bruise, and it's harder when a child is unable to speak for themselves about what and where the bruises came from. Even I wake up and find bruises and think "where the hell did that come from?!" haha. Let's hope the GP has something to help you :)

Hey Chops & Trips, how're you getting on? xx

Fee had surgery on Monday after his lung collapsed, he ended up having his whole left lung removed. However, now, he's breathing on his own with the aid of the vent!! :) :) And I got to see his beautiful eyes, today! :) x

Hi ladies, Mama I was just thinking about Fe and thinking no news is good news then I saw your post. Poor little boy, going through so much in his first few weeks of life, I can`t imagine what it must be like for you all. How is your father getting on with your new little brother? Not much to report here..............for a change! Shabs you are awful quiet?

mama- As I said before, M had his lung removed, and his other one expanded a fair bit into the vacant space, these little ones heal amazingly fast, and they have unbelievable resilience.